Who Am I | Teen Ink

Who Am I

August 6, 2015
By CreativeFreakkk DIAMOND, Spencer, Iowa
CreativeFreakkk DIAMOND, Spencer, Iowa
53 articles 40 photos 204 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stand up for what you believe in even if it means standing alone. -Andy Biersack
Sometimes you gotta fall before you can fly. -Kellin Quinn
You made me hate my own reflection. -Sleeping With Sirens

“Where am I?” is the first thing out of my mouth, before my eyes are even open. For some reason I already know that everything isn’t right; as in I don’t hear my younger sister screaming at me to get up or my mom yelling back telling her to shut up. Another thing is that I hear a beeping sound, much like the ones they have at hospitals to measure heart beats.
“Jaina?” I hear a door open and a unknown but still familiar voice ask.
I peer through the slits in my green eyes and stare up at a short women with slightly greying hair and a white lab coat on.
“Where am I,” I ask, finally opening my eyes fully. The women looking at me has a few slight wrinkles throughout her face, but she smiles and it, in a way, makes her seem younger.
“Try and think about where you are.” Is all she says and then she walks away.
“What do you mean try and remember?” I scream after her. “What am I supposed to remember?” I yell but she closes the door too soon.
Another woman walks in, she’s wearing a dark navy blue skirt and a white blouse with a jacket that matches the skirt.
“Hi, Jaina,” she says, she has blonde hair falling in her eyes which she pushes away revealing an ear piece. Like the ones that hook up to your phone so you can talk without holding the phone to your ear. “Do you remember anything that has happened to you the past few months?” she sits down in the chair beside the bed I’m lying in.
“Is there anything I should be remembering?” I counter.
She smirks at that, “Yes there is very much you should but yet you don’t.”
“Could you please clarify that for me?” I ask her, she seems amused with this question, for why, I don’t know.
“Two months ago you and your family, including your boyfriend, were in a car crash. You’ve been in a coma since, until you decided to wake up yesterday, but you seem to have woken with slight amnesia. The doctors think it will wear off within the week.” She gets up and walks out the door leaving me by myself.


I wake hours later, it’s now dark outside. I look at the clock beside my bed and see that it’s three in the morning almost four.
A guys face flashes before me, he’s smiling but I have no idea why. His face looks familiar. Then like a neon sign his name shows up, Ezra, and I automatically know it’s my boyfriend. Two more faces pop up, another man, but much older, and a women. The same thing happens as before and I see that they are my parents.
I fall back asleep moments later.


I wake up again, this time to a door opening and closing. I open my eyes to see the old women in the lab coat that I saw yesterday.
“Are Ezra and my parents okay?” I ask her.
She looks at me and smiles her white teeth flashing, “I’m assuming you remember?”
“I only remember them, nothing of the accident.”
“Ezra is doing okay, even though he was on the side of the car that got the most damage done, your mom died instantly, and your dad is alive and well, he just suffered minor scrapes and bruises as well as a broken arm that will be finished healing soon,” she says, reading from a clipboard all the information.
“Could I go see Ezra and my dad?”
She nods and motions for me to follow.
We walk down a long hallway before we come to a stop in front of a closed hospital door. “This is Ezra’s room,” she says. She opens the door and there lying in the bed is the same person that I had seen flash over my eyes, only now instead of having flawless skin like I saw on him before he had dark bags under his eyes and looked like he hadn’t been getting very much sleep lately.
I see his eyes flutter slightly as I close the door behind me. Whoops, I don’t know what to say now. I wasn’t planning on him being awake. “Jaina?” he asks his bright blue eyes wide, staring at me in shock. “They told me you had died, or at least I think they did. How long have you been awake?”
“Like a day I think,” I say and sit in the seat next to his bed. “I don’t know exactly, I’m still trying to remember everything.” I feel a tear roll down my cheek and that’s when I realize that I’m crying.
“Did you hear about what happened to your mom yet?”
“They said that the impact killed her instantly. Is that what happened?” I position myself so I’m looking at him.
“It didn’t kill her instantly like they said, she was still alive when the ambulance showed up but she told them to go to you first, they completely ignored me at first because I was up and walking around and just had a cut on my head,” he motions towards the light scab on his forehead pulling his hair off of it.
I’m crying harder now, tears rocking my body. Ezra wraps his right arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer allowing me to rest my head on his chest.
“Why did they tell me she died as soon as it happened?” I demand, my voice making it sound like I was blaming him for her death. “Why didn’t they just tell me the truth?” I ask, my voice much quieter and less demanding this time.
“I don’t know, my only guess would be that your dad asked them to do that. He has been worried sick about since the wreck. He actually paid extra money for you and me to have more nurses and doctors than needed, just incase something happened to either of us,” I feel him kiss the top of my head and I take that as he wants to talk to my face, not my hair.
I lift my head up, slowly though. He keeps his arms around my shoulders, keeping me close to him.
“That makes sense, I guess anyways,” I tell him looking at his face. “Why are you still here? I mean you look perfectly healthy other than the cut on your head.”
He just looks at me for a few moments, his eyes look glazed over all of a sudden. He pulls away from me and lowers his hand to the hem of his shirt, he pulls of his shirt, at first I don’t notice anything but then he turns his body so I can see his right side. All down his right ribs is a huge jagged scar thats a pink color.
“How did you get that?” I demand. “That nurse told me you were fine and has minimal damage done to you!” I practically scream. Instead of answering he turns his head and stares at the door like he thinks someone will walk in at any moment.
“I was here right after the wreck for a few days but then they let me out,” he confesses. “I only had this cut when I left,” he motions to his head.
“A few hours after I left the hospital your dad called me and told me that your heart went out and that they didn’t think you’d make it.” He is now crying, a few tears rolling down his cheeks and off his chin. “It was like four in the morning and I hadn’t slept at all yet. I got on my motorcycle and rushed here, I wasn’t even off the phone with your dad by the time I was on the highway, I was about ten minutes away from the hospital and I got to the exit, when I turned off though a cone came out of no where and hit my tire. I went flying and my motorcycle rolled until it was in the grass right next to the highway,” he pauses and looks at me like he’s asking if I wanted to hear the rest. I nod and he continues.
“I hit the metal guardrail that separates the exit from the highway. Thats how this happened,” he motions to his side again.
“Why did the nurse act like you were still here from the car wreck?”
“I have no idea, but I’ve been here since the motorcycle wreck. They won’t let me go home for another day or two. They’re worried the scar can still rip open because it’s not completely healed through yet.”
“Oh,” is all I say when the nurse walks back in.
“Jaina, your dad wants to talk to you.” I look at Ezra and he mouths “go”. I get up and walk out of the room to the hallway to see my dad along the wall sitting in a wheelchair.
Even his voice is different.

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