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My Corny Life
Its monday morning and my mom just dropped me off at school. The place that I, James Schucks, the 15 year old farmhand, born and raised in Nebraska, known as the ‘corn king’ for processing an over abundance of corn puns at the job I have grown accustom to at Springfield high. This is the place where I am expected to graduate then work on a corn farm, my dad’s especially. Schucks shucking corn was the name, where Jim and Patty Schucks spend all day from dusk to dawn doing what they know best, farming and processing corn. What a team, my dad would till, seed, and farm the corn in his big old tractor with a plow extension. Once he brings in the produce my mom would take charge of the operation by processing corn in the farm house. I plunge into school.
The walls are white, just white, no complexity, no colors just white. On each side, there are mustard yellow lockers that have to be at least two decades old. Not many lockers though, due to the fact of which there is approximately 251 occupants in Springfield high, the highest population since the 1950s. My school is at its prime! Then why does it look like everyone recently had a relative die and at the same time no one has gotten sleep in a week? Well, this muggy, uncomfortable, prison is filled with inmates that don’t care where they are going because they, like me, are swimming in the endless, unforgiving whirlpool of reality. They all know they will just graduate, get a job, start a family, become grandparents, carry on their legacy, and then die. Some are lucky, they might just overdose on the sadness and depression and exit the whirlpool before they pass the 10th grade. I for one do not like either of these options.
This is a problem, because I am the only child of Jim and Patty Schucks, and I have a very large lack of relatives. Last year Thanksgiving was a great turn out of 5 people. This makes me the only heir for the legacy of the magnificent corn kingdom. The catch is, I hate corn. Corn is the worst food on the planet. It gets stuck in between your teeth and you have to take hours getting it out. Its not just eating corn though, I hate corn puns, jokes, or anything corny for that matter. Its absolutely atrocious and should never have existed in my opinion. It’s pointless. Corn is responsible for a certain breed of persons who grow up only knowing one thing and nothing else. It sucks up any hope of changing a non-corn fate. It just leaves people no choice.
“Hey James!” said a raspy, deeper voice from behind.
I turn around and see Darrell, a tall, husky, blonde with shiny hazel eyes, leaning against a locker. Now Darrell was definitely not the sweetest corn in the field, but he was the closest thing I ever had to a best friend.
“Hey there Darell. Whats up?” I ask.
“ Not much man, just saw you staring at that trash can for a solid 10 minutes and was wondering if everything is okay?” He asked without making eye contact.
“ No, everythings fine, I… I was just thinking about some stuff.” I said.
“Oh, okay, I try not to do that to much so I don’t get headaches.” he said with a grin.
Darrell and I both laugh and walk to class. When we walk into Mrs. Wallace’s classroom, I sit down and go back to my thoughts. Man, why can’t I just be more like Darrell? He has his whole life set up for him. As soon as he graduates he’s going to go to his family company, Stalkers tractor supply co., where he will spend the rest of his life assembling tractors with the biggest smile on his face. How could he be content with just that? There is no purpose in his life. I guess I don’t see the appeal. I’d rather go out and see the world, experience knew experiences, feel different feelings, or at least get out of this whirlpool and enter a whole knew corn maze full of spontaneous exploration and hope for something exciting-and less corny.
“Mr. Schucks, Mr. Schucks!” Mrs. Wallace yells at me in the now empty classroom. Apparently I had completely ignored everyone leaving and was now by myself confused and disoriented in front of Mrs. Wallace.
“Uh…. um, what?” I mumble.
“Mr. Schucks, you are late for your next class.” she said
I didn’t reply, I only stared into her deep, sea green eyes.
“Mr. Schucks, speak to me!” she pauses. “James this is the third time in the last two weeks you have had your day dreams. Is there possibly something in your life thats causing these problems? Family? Friends?.” She asked sympathetically.
I said nothing. I just sat there analyzing my teacher who was obviously trying to help. All of my thinking has been negative…. All I ever think about is “what if I did this?” of “what if I did that?” , not “I’m gonna do this”. At that moment I felt more sure on that thing, that decision more than anything in my entire life. My hands started to become hot and sweaty and my heartbeat was so fast, I was sure it was going to shoot right out of my chest.I felt that almost butterfly feeling of anxiety and curiosity . I shot out of my seat at a very alarming speed and looking into the face of my history teacher.
“Nothing!”
“What?” she asked with a puzzled look on her face.
“Nothing! Thats my problem. I have no problems. I have no excitement! Nothing to make me scared, anxious, sad, or happy. I have no adventure! No spontaneous exploration to fulfill my constant hunger for discovery. I wanna see the world and experience it all!”I exclaimed.
“Well…. I mean… you should finish school first and then when you’re older-.”
“No! I can’t spend one more day in this hellhole!”I scream.
At that point I knew what I had to do. I ran. I ran out of the classroom and into the hallway. Behind me I could hear Mrs. Wallace screaming, but I didn’t care. I yearned adventure and by God I’m gonna get it. I pass Darrell in the middle of the hallway.
“Look, This is a lot to ask but, will you come with me for an adventure of a lifetime?” I ask with the hope of him saying yes to a crazy question.
“Well-” Darell stutters.
“Its better than building tractors for the rest of your life! Please.”
“Okay, will I miss my algebra test?”he asked.
“Yes.”
“Alright.”
At that point I realized Darrell was either really my best friend or just too stupid to realize what was going on. But at any rate, we both charged out of the school doors into the parking lot; causing a large stir between the classes. Darrell and I went to each others houses, sneaked passed the relatives, and filled a bag full of essentials for each of us. I stole the keys to my mom’s F-150. I figured I could drive. My dad used to let me drive the tractor all the time since I was a little kid. Tractors are like cars. Right? We both hop in the truck and drive east.
Five days later Darrell and I are in Toledo, Ohio. We just got gas and were
at an intersection. I looked at Darrell and said “I can almost taste the adventure.”
Darrell smiled, the two sides of his eyes cringed into crows feet and his cheeks rose as high as possible, but then he frowned suddenly, almost like someone had drained all the blood from him.
“OH GOD!” Darrell screamed with the facial expressions of complete terror.
I turned around just in time to see a semi-truck barreling down the street on a crash course with us. At that moment time froze. I realized that spontaneous adventure might not even exist. It’s merely a hope, or want that no person could ever achieve. Its almost pointless putting your hope in something that will just be taken away from you. I guess I should not have spent all of my time hoping for something better, I should have paid attention to the positives before they’re gone… Time unfroze.

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