I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day we first met and he taught me how to blow the bubbles through the machine while he complimented the cross I was wearing. That’s when I first realized how special he was and that one day, he would mean more to me than just another friend. My intuitions were right; we’d been friends since we were four years old and now I’m lost.

Nathan was always the kind of person who would rush to someone’s side if he thought they looked lonely or in need of help. That’s just how he was. Nathan had an altruistic personality; everyone pictured him going into the army after graduation. But that wasn’t a possibility anymore.

It was flooding all over town and he had been on his way home from seeing me. After fixing my sink he climbed into his sporty black car and passed everyone he normally did on his way. But this time was different. The flooding was too much for him to handle. After all he had only been driving for two years. As soon as he crossed over Molina Bridge he was hit right in front of the Church.

Ironic, isn’t it? How someone so selfless and caring could be killed outside of the one place that’s supposed to save them from their evils. He didn’t deserve to have that happen to him; Nathan was supposed to be one of the good guys in this world. God took that from him, from me, and from everyone else he had ever met and so I resented him for that. How can He say that he is a savior and protector when he takes people away who are loved and needed so much? How can He say that everything happens for a reason? I don’t believe it, at least not anymore.

Two days later my grandma came by to pick me up. When she knocked on the door I had still been getting ready. As she waited in the living room I put on the nicest black dress I had, out of respect for Nathan, and went into the bathroom to finish getting ready. I couldn’t concentrate. All I saw in the mirror was the two of us together and happy. So I smashed it and all at once it fell to the ground.
“Is everything alright up there?” My grandma questioned. I disguised my pain and yelled back yes so that she would not have to worry.

When I finished I slowly walked down the steps and met her by the front door.
“You look beautiful honey,” my grandmother noted.

I think it was just an attempt to cheer me up but I said thank you anyway. My grandma could read me like a book and in an instant, her face changed and she whispered in my ear, “Why not baby girl?” I couldn’t turn around.

Grandma Beth continued by declaring that, “It is okay to be sad. It is okay to want to blame someone or something. But not God.”

“No it’s not!” I shouted. “He took Nathan from me and everyone else in this town. Right outside of his own place of worship. His sanctuary!”

I felt bad for screaming at my grandmother but she was wrong. He was to be blamed and why should I not do so? Nathan was the best person on this planet, at least he was to me, and God knowingly took him away from me.

Grandma Beth started to look sad. She could tell I was hurting and she could tell I had lost myself. She tried to help me and said, “Savannah, God has his reasons and I know that it hurts very much darling but he is in a better place now. You will find this out one day and don’t you worry it will be okay. Nathan is okay and I bet he is watching down on you right now. God, along with Nathan, will take care of you as long as you trust and believe that. Without faith, we are not humans. Without faith, you and I are merely standard creatures without souls. That is not life my dear, you must believe. Believe like I do.”

I trusted my grandma and her advice, I just didn’t know how. I didn’t know how He could not only ruin one life, but two. More than two even, it was a ripple effect. A ripple effect that my grandmother had learned a long time ago from none other than God himself. I realized she was right all along. My grandmother was exactly like Nathan; picking me up when I was down, helping me realize right from wrong, and never forcing me to believe something I didn’t want to, but aiding me to the correct conclusion.

As the months went on, I reluctantly went to Church with Grandma Beth. After a while, I started going by myself to try and find my way back to God to forgive him. In order to do this I had to move past my pain, anger, and sorrow, and see into the bright future I had. I knew I would one day be reacquainted with Nathan and I came to peace with the terms. God knew the ultimate goal, the ultimate end, and would lead me there if I had faith. Going to Church helped me get through it all, along with my Grandma Beth. Without friends, family, and faith, we are merely standard creatures without souls. And that is no life.