Looking | TeenInk

Looking

May 29, 2011
By AndRachelLovesyou SILVER, Stone Mountain, Georgia
AndRachelLovesyou SILVER, Stone Mountain, Georgia
5 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
-Winnie The Pooh


There was this guy. And I thought he was perfect, but then I saw his closet. I was in his house because …well that’s not important. His closet’s really big (which I liked) but full of clothes—women’s clothes— and I asked him where these came from and he wouldn’t answer. So I got a little suspicious, right? I mean wouldn’t you? And I made him tell me. What he said was... well I was so disturbed I just walked out right then. I stepped out onto his porch and he comes out and he grabs my arm. And it hurt. But I like to carry a knife just in case because you never know and it’s important to be prepared. Then he was just lying there, and I felt kind of bad, trying to decide whether I should call someone to help him. I’d gotten him in the leg, but it wasn’t bleeding that much, so I just left and after I’d walked about a block I looked back and he was still lying there. He was kind of short and dressed in brown, and if you didn’t know better you would think a dog was curled up in the yard, asleep. So I waved bye to the little doggy and hailed a taxi home.

I guess you can say the other two were my fault. I might have been dating them at the same time; that’s what they said anyway. But I remember calling one of them and saying…well it’s fuzzy. But I don’t think I was quite clear as to how I felt about either, so when one said they wanted to take me to the movies I didn’t have a problem with that. And then the other one called, but I have trouble telling the difference over the phone (they sound very similar); I thought he was the same one. And I asked him for a ride to the theater. So they both end up at the movies and they yell and they scream dramatically. I told them I was going to be late for the movie (I really wanted to see it) and that they could stay and see it or just go home. They both huffed out. As I was leaving I saw them in the coffee shop across the street laughing at something. They looked like they’d known each other for years. So I guess they should be thanking me, right? Because of me, they made a new friend.

I deserve all the blame for the zoo incident.

And then there was that guy who dumped me for a girl in Paris. I don’t even want to talk about it. And the other one…well now I remember to make sure my parents aren’t home. And that it really hurts if you jump out your window.

I’ve actually learned a lot from them. I know how to change my clothes without undressing, which movie theaters will let you sneak in drinks, and the foods that will always leave a mess— no matter how hard you try to be neat.

Earlier today me and my friend, Anna, talked about something. She wanted to know something serious. She asked me, why do you see them? That guy and this guy and the other guy. The normal ones and the strange ones and the ones that you just don't understand? Why do you date them? Is it fun?

Fun…? I said. No, usually it's annoying. I don't like any of them enough for it to be fun. And even when I do it doesn't last. Then the fun's gone, and it just hurts.
She asked, Then are you looking for love?

I said, I don't think you can look for it.

But isn't that what you're doing? Looking for it over and over, but since it isn't something you can find, you fail. Over and over until you're frustrated and confused, but you still keep searching. But you won't find it.

It?

Love.

I might, I said weakly.

And she asked, But will it be worth it?

There was a silence. I'd never thought about it before. And I was starting to feel uneasy with this conversation. I have a philosophy against thinking through these subjects too clearly. You can't change them; it just makes you depressed.

So, I said, meaning to distract her, What about your boyfriend.

We broke up, she said. And I felt awkward. So I left the room. After rummaging through her kitchen I brought back a bag of chips and some pop and fruit.

Those are my brother’s chips, she said. He’ll be mad.

I said to blame it on me.

We took turns throwing red grapes at her dog. The dog's name was Sasha, I think. Sasha started rolling the grapes back so we threw them again. They ended up crushed on the floor. So we used the green ones. Anna started to smile a little.

Really it was the most fun I’ve had in a while, but I had to leave early. I have a date tonight, and I need to do my hair.


The author's comments:
This story was inspire by "The School" by Donald Barthelme. I hope it conveys the same lightheartedness and humor while talking about a serious topic as "The School".

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 14 comments.


on Feb. 20 2012 at 12:25 pm
Smile-And-Wave-Boys. SILVER, Rotherhithe, Other
8 articles 1 photo 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
— Oprah Winfrey

Like the other comments mentioned, I wasn't sure where you were going with it, but I continued because I liked the writing style. I'm glad I did, I haven't seen anything like it on teenink, it's unique, and somewhat lighthearted. Good job, keep on writing :D

on Feb. 20 2012 at 8:32 am
Jappyalldayeveryday, Detroit, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in the blink of an eye

The idea here is good, and the ending is nice, but I think the conversation about love between the girl and her friend could use a little work.

on Aug. 2 2011 at 4:33 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

I just realized I actually commented on this before. But since you're wondering where it's confusing, I think maybe people were having a bit of a hard time understanding where you were going after your character went from guy after guy... And also, the knife bit was probably the part I was confused at the most. But then you brought it back together towards the middle and the end when you brought in Anna. Thinking about it, this story is kind of like a book compressed into a short story--and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I love the style; very creative and intriguing. And the title is so fitting--it kind of lessens the confusion and shows the reader what to expect, in my opinion. But this was overall very well done. :)

on Jul. 14 2011 at 5:16 pm
AndRachelLovesyou SILVER, Stone Mountain, Georgia
5 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
-Winnie The Pooh

Thanks everyone!! The grammar mistake was intentional. The way the character phrased it wasn'y supposed to be like a question but I can totally see how that could be unclear. And I've read this so many times (plus I came up with it) that it's hard for me to see where  it's confusing. If you could point out specific parts or give ideas that would be great.

on Jul. 7 2011 at 10:40 am
Leena7395 SILVER, Spring Grove, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

I really really like this story! great job :)

on Jul. 5 2011 at 9:37 pm
WritingSpasms, Los Angeles, California
0 articles 0 photos 121 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Devils run when a good man goes to war."
- River Song from Doctor Who (Ep. A Good Man Goes to War)

I like this a lot! Your writing is well done, albeit a bit confusing sometimes. It's very unique. Also there's one grammar mistake I caught, something about a question mark. But anyways, good job! Keep on writing :)

Megan.J.B said...
on Jul. 5 2011 at 6:44 pm
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional."
- Green Goblin. :)

Very well done! Your writing style is good, although as is said before, this writing style shouldn't be confusing. I've seen some really good pieces written like this that aren't confusing, that's all I'd work on. :)

on Jul. 5 2011 at 4:05 pm
Kat4ever333 GOLD, Orange, California
14 articles 35 photos 104 comments

Favorite Quote:
I make dark things beautiful and beautiful things dark!
-Kerli I.L.U

it was very confusing to me. at first id didnt get it but after reading all the way through i ended up getting it and liking it.

on Jul. 5 2011 at 12:35 pm
AndRachelLovesyou SILVER, Stone Mountain, Georgia
5 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
-Winnie The Pooh

You should definitly read "The School". It's in the public domain so you can google it. The School deals with death while mine deals with love, and I imitated the same writing style.

on Jul. 5 2011 at 11:48 am
MollyDoubleU BRONZE, Minooka, Illinois
3 articles 5 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." - The Great Gatsby

This was very unique! I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before. It was a little hard to follow in some places, but overall it was a funny story. Great work :)

awayra BRONZE said...
on Jul. 5 2011 at 11:10 am
awayra BRONZE, Bucharest, Alabama
1 article 1 photo 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"i am a woman who enjoys herself very much: sometimes i win, sometimes i loose."

very unfamiliar, very contemporaneous and quite original! it should be brushed a little, but other than that, it's amazing! good luck with your next project!

on Jul. 5 2011 at 7:42 am
Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND, No, Missouri
87 articles 108 photos 968 comments

Favorite Quote:
All gave some, some gave all. -War Veterans headstone.

I have never seen a writing style like this before.  The story in general was good, but it confused me a bunch in the beginning, towards the end I could just enjoy each piece as it was, but not as a whole..

on Jul. 5 2011 at 12:00 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

I really like this. Your style is so unique! And it really kept me interested. And I caught that same mistake CarrieAnn13 pointed out. Other than that, this was great! :)

on Jul. 4 2011 at 7:39 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

This is a great story!  Yes, it is funny (especially the ending), so you don't have to worry about that.  You only have one mistake in the whole thing (that I can see, at least).  You forgot to put a question mark instead of a period at the end of this sentence: "What about your boyfriend."

This was a great piece of work!  I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future. :)