Battles Of The Mind | Teen Ink

Battles Of The Mind

March 29, 2010
By Darkstar6265 GOLD, Centennial, Colorado
Darkstar6265 GOLD, Centennial, Colorado
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything you have will someday be gone. Even if you don’t miss it now, you probably will later. So take pictures and hide them in your memories so you can recall them later after everything that is becomes everything that was. OR I know you’re hurting, even if it’s just when you’re alone and thoughts seem to rush into your head and you can’t seem to keep them from coming in. But there can be beauty in pain; Even though sometimes it’s hard to see.

“Kate was one of those girls that possessed one of those smiles that would light up an entire room. In fact she was rarely seen without it. But then an interesting series of events happened and memory’s formed; ones that would never be forgotten, and the smile that seemed to follow her around slowly began to fade. It wasn’t until a great time later that I felt the warmth of that smile again. See it was a bright autumn day and golden auburn leaves seemed to sprinkle the ground around the coffee shop. Kate walked in for her daily cup of coffee; a double mocha grande with little foam. But as Kate turned to leave with her newly bought cup of deliciousness, it ended up finding its way into the air and onto the attire of an unsuspecting man. The man was dressed in a very expensive suit and got up quickly shaking his hands. My names Chris and I’m what you would refer to as the narrator of this story.”

“OH MY GOSH! Are you alright, here let me grab some napkins for you.” Kate said blushing as she threw them at him.
“Oh I’m splendid I really wanted coffee all over my new suit.” The man said angrily while looking down.
“I’m incredibly sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“Of course.” The man said while looking up and then paused. “I mean… I’m sorry where are my manners I’m John.” He stuck out his hand to meet hers with his play boyish smile
“Kate, it’s a pleasure to meet you aside from the fact that my coffee is all over you.”
“Oh this, it’s nothing really. In fact I think that it really makes my tie pop out.” The man said sarcastically
“Is there anything that I can do to repay this atrocity that I just committed?” Kate said after laughing
“Well now that you mention it how about you go to dinner with me this Friday.”
“Well I guess I’m in no position to say no, so how about seven o clock at Millie’s.”
“Sounds great, I’ll see you then.”

“When Kate arrived home that day she couldn’t keep from smiling. She couldn’t help but think about how she stumbled upon this gorgeous guy that she just met in such a way that you only hear from love stories and movies. “He was such a gentleman too.” She kept saying to herself. “He’s the perfect one. Could he be the one that I’ve been searching for?” The thought couldn’t get out of her head. Needless to say Friday seemed to take ages to get to, but when it finally arrived she couldn’t wait for that night.”

“Madame.” John said coolly as he opened the door for her
“Sir.” Kate said as she stepped out into the cool evening breeze
“Welcome to Millie’s. Will it only be the two of you tonight?” The server said as they walked in
“Indeed.” Said John
“Follow me please.” The waiter started walking down a narrow hallway and stopped in front of a corner booth “Is this fine?”
“It’s perfect” Said Kate
“Order anything that you’d like it’s on me.”
“Well then in that case I might just have to order the entire menu, everything sounds so good.” Kate said with a smirk on her face
“If that ends up being the case then I’ll end up sharing some of yours, and giving the rest to the homeless man down on 42nd street.” John said smiling

“As the night went on the spark that the two of them shared soon turned into a flame, and that night suddenly turned into nights of romantic bliss. So at this point you may be thinking that this is a love story of epic proportions. I wish that I could agree with you but sadly I cannot. So now that you’ve met John I can tell you that he’s the so called “villain” of the story. Strange huh, because he seemed to come across as such a gentlemen.”

Kate was in her bathroom putting on makeup when her cell phone started to make a break for the edge of the table.
“Hey Kate, it’s Chris I’m back in town for a little bit would you like to get some coffee?”
“I would love too. When did you get back?”
“I flew in a few hours ago and I found myself craving some coffee and I thought why go alone.”
“How very thoughtful of you. You down for our usually spot down on Main Street.”
“That’s what I was thinking see you there in an hour?”

“It was a Monday if my memory recalls correctly… the day that me and Kate met for coffee and I was able to get caught up on her life. It was also that same Monday that John hit her for the first time. It was right before I called her to meet me at the coffee shop. The first time it happened it wasn’t that bad, just a little bruise around the eye socket that was easily covered by makeup. She was able to smile through it, and she thought nothing of it, that he was only playing around and that it happened on accident. Yet she still hid it. She thought that I didn’t notice but I did. She didn’t wear makeup that often so it was easy to spot when she did. The next hit didn’t come until weeks later. That’s when her smile began to fade for the first time in her life. But he didn’t stop there and as time went on they become more frequent, and instead of a hit here and there they became beatings. The makeup on her face continued to pile on until there was no longer a difference between her face and a clowns except for the fact that the smile that used to follow her around was all withered up.”

John and Kate were sitting next to each other watching TV when a loud thud seemed to find its way to their apartment door. Kate got up slowly making sure not to stir John who was leaning heavily on her. When she opened the door a familiar face seemed to barge his way in angrily saying “So when are you going to dump him?”
“Oh well just come on in.”
“Look he hit you again.” Kate pulls her hand away while pulling down her sleeve “Don’t try and hide it, we all know it’s there. I also know that there’s another one on your back.”
“D***** Chris, why can’t you ever come bearing good news. It’s always about how John beats Me.”
“Well that’s because you never seem to listen to me when I say dump him. Plus you’ll end up thanking me someday.”
“Well aren’t you just full of yourself.” Kate says with her brows scrunched together
“No, I just know when I’m right.” I say crossing my arms and leaning against the wooden panel beside me.
“Well how do you know that John isn’t “the one.””
“It’s probably got something to do with the fact that when someone meets “the one” they wouldn’t use air quotations.” Then my face softened “Or maybe it’s because someone who loves you wouldn’t beat you. Or maybe it’s the fact that a girl once told me that Love is always trying to out due your partner in good deeds. Or the very same girl who told me that she was going to marry a true gentleman. The kind that holds doors open for you and loves you for you and everything. Or am I thinking of someone else.”
“The girl you’re talking about died a long time ago.” Kate says looking at the ground trying to shuffle the nonexistent dirt around with her toe.
“Really? Because I could have sworn that I saw her just the other day when I was at the coffee shop and that little girl came up and gently pulled on the jeans of the girl that I was standing next to and asked what the meaning of life was, and that woman said “to love others”. But since the little girl didn’t know what love was she eagerly asked about it, and that very kind lady, the one that seemed to light up as she was defining it replied with “love is when you care for something more then you care for yourself.””
“Well she was incompetent. She didn’t know what she was talking about. She has no clue what the real world is like, and how horrible it really is, or how horrible she really is.”
“Is this you talking or him?”
Glass shatters and a voice from the other room etches in screaming “Hey b**** where you at?”
Kate turns the corner saying “I’m just getting a drink of water.”
“Get me a drink while you’re at it.” John says with a slur
as Kate turned to where I was standing she realized that I’d already gone
“I hate how he does that.” Kate mumbled under her breath as she turned to enter the kitchen

“Kate couldn’t fall asleep that night because a certain phrase kept creeping its way into her mind. “Is this you talking or him?” She couldn’t answer this question immediately and that’s what made falling asleep so difficult. Before she met John she was a completely different person; full of optimism, self respect and hope. She would walk into a room and everyone would turn to see a happy young woman. Now when she enters a place people look down, and try to avoid eye contact. That night she finally came to the conclusion that I was right, and that this relationship had to come to an end. That morning Kate got up and went to John’s apartment but couldn’t find the strength to go in alone, and that’s when she called me. When I arrived Kate seemed to be shaking so I went up to give her a hug, and that’s when I whispered it into her ear. “This is it. It’s time to end it.”
“I can’t.” She said with tears forming in her eyes
“Yes you can, I’ll be right here.”
“At this Kate grasped the handle and turned it slowly releasing it only after it was fully open leaving the heat of her hand on the handle. She looked back at me wiping the tears from her eyes as I reached out my hand and placed it on her shoulder saying “This is something that you’ll have to do without me. I’ll be standing right here waiting for you when you come back. Don’t be afraid, everything will end up being just fine.” She nodded at this and headed inside. She appeared a few minutes later with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. The kind that I hadn’t seen for a while, the one that would light up an entire room, the kind that you could feel. At this I got up from the floor and hugged her saying “It’s time for me to go.”
“But I need you.” Kate said with a confused look on her face
“Not anymore” I said smiling.

As I made my way to the stairwell it suddenly hit Kate that I happened to only be in town for the key moments of her life; the times when darkness and pain entered her heart and slowly began taking control of it. That’s when I heard her blurt out “What are you?” At this I stopped and turned looking her right in the eye saying “I’m your heart.”
“What do you mean?”
“And I’m also your conscience. I know you better then you know yourself. I’m the only thing that doesn’t change when things get rough. Sometimes you lose sight of me and forget where to find me. But during those times I’m still present, and I’m still there. Why else do you think that God asks for you to give him your heart? It’s because it’s the only part of you that’s always stays true.
“I don’t understand. If you’re my heart then how can I talk to you?”
“I appear as a physical form when your heart is telling you to get out. Meaning when you start to forget who you are and become too weak to get yourself out, I push you until you can finally remember who you really are. But since I can’t technically speak to you I send you into a day dream. See these conversations that we have aren’t really conversations; they are more like thoughts that are going on in your head. They are opposites; the good thoughts vs. the bad thoughts. They are arguments between the superficial you and the real you, which then creates a physical being, me. Also if you are worried about what you look like when one of these conversations is going on don’t. Because it just looks like you are zoning out and they only last until something catches your attention, like a beer bottle shattering against the wall.”

“At this I disappeared leaving Kate standing there motionless. Thoughts rushed into her head and smile appeared on her face when she realized that she’d see me again, when she was older and crisis seemed to come through her door and enter her life again. She knew that I’d be standing right next to her when she needed me the most. When she started to slip away into the abyss of all that’s evil and she began to forget who she was.”

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This article has 3 comments.

on Jul. 6 2013 at 7:51 am
lyric_gonzales GOLD, Batangas, Other
17 articles 1 photo 1 comment
This is great! Its nice to have someone help you out everytime you need one. I love how Chris does that. :)

on Jun. 1 2010 at 5:00 pm
Darkstar6265 GOLD, Centennial, Colorado
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything you have will someday be gone. Even if you don’t miss it now, you probably will later. So take pictures and hide them in your memories so you can recall them later after everything that is becomes everything that was. OR I know you’re hurting, even if it’s just when you’re alone and thoughts seem to rush into your head and you can’t seem to keep them from coming in. But there can be beauty in pain; Even though sometimes it’s hard to see.

Thanks, I'm glad that you enjoyed it! And I'm going to have to check out that book, thanks for pointing that out to me. 

Sylvie BRONZE said...
on May. 31 2010 at 7:07 pm
Sylvie BRONZE, Edison, New Jersey
3 articles 19 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others" - Michael Carr

Wow, this is a spectacular piece! I absolutely loved how you had the idea of Chris being a part of her heart that stays true!

Also, this reminds me of a book, Sundays at Tiffany's, since there's also a character that's just like Chris who acts like a guardian angel.