Hope | Teen Ink


May 2, 2009
By Lenaforver PLATINUM, Highland, New York
Lenaforver PLATINUM, Highland, New York
20 articles 0 photos 6 comments

I walked down the hall, trying to hold my head up high. Which was quite difficult for me. I have this phobia called Allodoxaphobia
It's the fear of other peoples opinions. I always feel like someone is talking about me. It drives me insane.

Well today it had been the worst of all days. In English we had to present projects, I usually went up and did it quietly. Today the teacher
Mrs. Applewright, wanted me to be more confident in my work, SO she picked me first to go, I didn't even volunteer. Well I made
a compete fool of myself. I stumbled walking up to the front of the class, I tripped over my words. I walked backed to my seat
with complete red checks, I could feel them burning which just made me redder.

I sat their watching everyone else present, no one tripped over words or blushed. I walked out of class, and everyone was laughing. Was it at me?
probably not. I couldn't help from thinking it was I though. I felt horrible. I got so paranoid. If they weren't laughing, they would be now. I felt like
I was shaking. Luckily the girls bathroom was right there, I ducked into it. I but my books down, ran the faucet. I splashed my face with water, trying to clam my breathing.
Soon I would be walking into lunch to sit at my pretty lonely table, that people only sat at if their was no where else to sit. I cranked the paper towel dispenser, ripped
off a sheet and dried my face off. I heard someone behind me. I didn't think that anyone was in there.

It was a girl I barley knew, but she looked me with questioning eyes.

"Hi" I barley whispered, as I picked up my books.
"Hello" she answered, I could hear her curiosity burning.

Great, just great some girl I barley knew saw me have a mini-panic attack. I walked over to my usually lonely table. I sat down and began eating
it was about 5 minutes later when looked up, that girl was sitting there. She was just quietly munching on a snack. I was kind of peeved. I didn't know exactly why.

"What was wrong with you back in the bathroom?" She asked.

"I was having trouble breathing and I needed to clam down" I answered.

"No, you were shaking too. Before you were blushing too." She stated.

"Fine, I have a phobia called Allodoxaphobia." I said.

"Oh, well that's to bad. My name is Star.. what's yours?" She asked.

WAIT, a second. What is going on here. She is acting like nothing I just said mattered.

"Hope" I answered.

She smiled brightly back at me.

I then realized to myself, it doesn't matter what they think. What matters is how I see myself.

For once in my lifetime I felt Hope for myself.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Jul. 23 2010 at 10:02 pm
Truely soul baring. One of your best