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Encounters, the Truth, and New Beginnings (Stories of Rainier Amour #4)
She’s been doing better. By that, it means that Rainier has stopped being a recluse who stays locked up in her room all day. She’s actually been helping in the medical department, not to be close to her father, no. Actually, she seldom sees him. Also, even though Rainier’s escaped her depression faze, that doesn’t mean that she’s any closer to forgiving her father, let alone making face to face contact.
Shortly after the broadcast, Rainier bumped into her father. He appeared to be in a rush- his dark hair sticking out, and his red eyes showed that he’d been pulling an all-nighter. He did, to Rainier’s surprise, stop in mid stride in front of her.
Wow, Rainier thought, it actually looks like he cares. She wiped the corners of her eyes and pursed her lips. “Nothing,” she mumbled and she continued to make a run for it.
Her father stopped her, “Rainier, talk to me.”
Rainier laughed coldly, “Like you care!”
He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “I do.”
“Then why don’t you show it?”
Now that surprised him, and maybe even shocked. “What are you talking about?”
Rainier deeply inhaled, “Of course you don’t know.”
“Ever since Mom died, you’ve been ignoring me and Freddy, especially me. Back when we needed you and you needed us, you weren’t there. You were either working or keeping to yourself. And you know who practically raised me? Freddy, not you, he’s the one who took me to school, drove me places, and helped me with my homework. He had other things to do, but instead he took care of me and watched you not help at all.”
“Rainier, honey, I had no idea,” he said, clearly baffled.
“I bet you didn’t,” Rainier hissed.
“I don’t know how to make it better. You know how important work is to me.”
And there he was, making excuses, just like usual.
“Yeah, I know,” she told him. “Don’t, don’t try to fix it. The damage is already done.”
And, like that, Rainer left her father standing in the middle of the vacant hall, and, still feeling like crap, was thankful to blow off a little steam.
Rainier doesn’t regret snapping at her father. He deserved to know how she felt instead of going on like she didn’t care about his ongoing absence in her life. Working helped her forget that. She lost herself in it and she occasionally made small talk with some of the nicer patients who were actually willing to talk to her.
She understood, somehow, why her father worked all the time. It helped, but Rainier wasn’t going to be like her father. She made time for other things; she started attending the occasional class and talked to many different people at meals. But that didn’t make her forget about the broadcast- the one that showed her Mom, revealing her true background that she had been hesitant to reveal to anyone, and the same one that showed the two people from her Capitol life that she cared about tortured.
Rainier was thumbing through some files when one of the nurses called her to her father’s office. She reluctantly entered the room that smelled of that medical tang a hospital has.
“Rainier, sit,” her father commanded her.
She did so, but refused to meet his eyes. She crossed her legs and stiffened her back.
“Rainier, I want to speak to you.”
Rainier didn’t move.
“When I speak to you I want you to look at me,” he said coldly.
Rainier faced him and told him, “Continue.”
He cleared his throat. “I’m not mad at you for scolding me the other day, but I feel I have a right to explain to you why I did what I did.”
Rainier nodded and he continued. “The reason I ignored you was because of your mom.”
She rolled her eyes. “I knew that.”
He smiled. “I don’t mean it like that. I mean I ignored you because you look so much like her.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t face you because you remind me so much of Sapphire. You’re as beautiful as her; you have her smile, her talents. I just couldn’t face it. Rainier, I’m sorry. I am, and I’m going to try. I missed a part of your life that I shouldn’t have, and I’m going to make it up to you and Freddy.”
Rainier smiled. “I’m sorry, too, Dad. I’ll try too.” She meant it, too.
He smiled even bigger. “Great, how about starting with lunch?”
“Sounds okay with me.”
They both rose and Rainier took her father’s arm as they exited the office.
He turned to his daughter and announced, “Here, my princess, new beginnings.”
He hasn’t called Rainier that since she was five, but she let it pass. She surprisingly believed that father meant every word that he said as much as she did hers. Indeed, here’s to new beginnings (fingers crossed that nothing screws up, but in District 13, or Panem in general, anything’s possible, unfortunately.)