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She's Not You
We pulled up to Shantelle's house and I got out of the car. I went around to her side and opened the door for her.
“Thanks.” she said quietly.
We slowly walked up the pathway and to the door. We stood there, staring at each other. She was looking at me with so much love, but all I could do was think of her. She moved a little closer to me, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Umm, bye Shantelle.” I said sheepishly.
She pouted. “Bye.” she said, reaching up and kissing my cheek. I blushed.
She then went into her house. I turned around and sighed, walking back to my car.
When I got home, my friend Adam texted me.
so howd it go with shantelle???
I told him what had happened.
why didnt u kiss her?!
cuz I couldnt
u didnt think of ~her again did u??
ugh dude u gotta get ova her
I cant. I <3 her theres no 1 else like her. at least I tried =
u have to just move on. just 4get about her
I cant. =(
well ur the 1 who messed it up nd ur just hurtin every1 if u keep thinking of her = g2g
Was I really supposed to get over her? I tried, and I failed. I love her. I know I messed it up, but maybe there’s a way I can fix it. But I don’t want to hurt Shantelle. But I can’t just keep going out with her and thinking of another girl, that’s way beyond what I’d consider wrong. But Shantelle’s just not her.
I went to sleep trying to figure out what to do. Around 4 AM I woke up. Half asleep, I started reaching for my phone. Suddenly, I heard it fall to floor, waking me up completely. Ugh, what am I doing? I can’t call her. Not now. She said she needed time alone, time away from me. I might just make it worse. But I think I can fix it. I was stupid then, I didn’t know what I wanted. But now I know what I have to do…
The next day I texted her and told her I needed to talk to her. She said I could come over.
I arrived at her house. I got out of my car and went up to the door. Before I could knock, the door opened. It was her. She must’ve seen me pull up.
“Hi.” I said shyly.
“Hi.” she said. She sounded sad. “Come in.”
I went in and we sat on the couch.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” she asked. The usually pep in her voice was gone.
“I heard you went out with Shantelle.” she said agitatedly.
That caught me off guard. I froze.
“How’d that go?” she said, not looking at me.
“Well, I walked her to her door and she wanted me to kiss her... but I couldn’t. She kissed me on the cheek and I said bye.” I explained.
“What?” she asked confusedly.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you even though she was obviously into me and she’s everything a guy would want.” I said. I couldn’t make sense of what I was trying to say.
“What are you trying to say?” she asked annoyed.
“I don’t know, but I have to say it anyway…”
“You have to compliment other girls?” she asked. She got up and started walking towards the door. I knew what was about to happen. I said the first thing that came into my head.
“She’s not you!”
She turned around.
“She’s not you. No one is like you. Everyone keeps telling me to forget about you and move on, but I can’t. No one is as beautiful or amazing as you. Not Shantelle, not anyone. I couldn’t kiss her because I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how I wanted it to be you standing there. She’s not you.”
I don’t know what came over me, but I kissed her right then and there. She kissed me back.
I broke off the kiss, holding her face in my hands. “I’m sorry, but I love you.” I said.
“I love you too.” she said as she kissed me.