I remember the way we ran up the stairs laughing smiling because we were "so in love" the way you held my hand behind you up the stairs to make sure if I fell again you would be the one save me.
I remember the way we laid in your bed silently thinking about each other.
I remember you pulling me close to you telling me how beautiful I was.
I remember the way you kissed me.
I remember the taste of your kiss that day bitter but sweet like melted dark chocolate.
I remember us laying there and then, everything changed.

You hurt me. Yelled at me to get on top of you. You ripped my skirt to find your way to get your evil self inside me. Your evil skin touching me in a way I wouldn't have ever imagined.
You got what you wanted, the darkness consumed my mind and every waking thought for the next two years.
You whispered in my ear, "you wanted this" You kept yelling at me. And yelling at me. And yelling at me.
Yelling horrible things at me. How I deserved this. That I'm not good enough.
That you would leave me if I didn't give you what you wanted. I and my 80-pound body were so scared of being alone.
That I don't deserve love and no one will ever love me.
I remember your little sister the one we were babysitting that day came running upstairs to see what was wrong. You shoved me back in the corner of your bed where she couldn't see me. I hit my head. Everything was spinning. And then. It all went numb.
I remember what happened. But it was like I wasn't there. I wish I really wasn't. I wish your dad got home sooner than he did. I wish he wasn't drunk so he would listen to me when I told him what had happened earlier that day. I wish he could hear me crying. I wish he could've seen what type of monster he made. You beat me and broke me till you were satisfied. I was 13.

Now I'm older. I'm 15 now. I've forgiven you. I know why you did what you did and why you chose me. Maybe I deserve it too. I don't know. But I need you to know. I forgive you. Because now.
I'm 15 years old. Your darkness still creeps into my mind every now and then. Sometimes when I look at myself it's almost like I can see those bruises still.
This past couple of months, I met another monster like you who tried to tell me what I wanted from him. He tried to give me his demons too. But I know monsters like you and him and there's probably more of you out there somewhere. But this time I got away before it was too much. But I'll never forget the day you destroyed me. You're a monster.
When I become an adult I will have 8 pounds of skin, 22 square feet to be exact.
my skin is dying and replacing itself every day.

You are no longer welcome on my skin.