It was one of those beautiful evenings that absolutely astounded the eyes of a watcher. The sunset as it was setting, casting such a brilliant glow upon the shallow earth of the meadow and glistening the exquisitely white snow that lay, blanketed and pure, would have made absurd to think that a terrible fate for such an unfortunate soul lay ahead that very twilight. The leaves on the trees shivered in the cool, thin air, and the light from the sun was beginning to cast a bleak, shadowy, descending outcast from the trees upon the ground. All was quiet; that is, until the moment everything that ever tormented the darkest thoughts of my mind enveloped me.
It all initiated just weeks prior. My mind was a blur, swarming with visions of pure agony, trying to take everything in at once, but the force was much too great. I had begun to fall, deeper and deeper into the dark abyss that once held such joyous treasures. It was a wonder, from the perspective of the backs of my eyes, how I was not dead; my mind had begun to drown in the very thoughts of my most sincere fears, and my physical being had begun to deplete, suffering just as my mental state, for nothing could alter the nightmarish scenes that engulfed my mind. It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to find my way around even the most simple of complications; more time was spent, alone, in the darkness, with no one to accompany me but my own demons. I had begun to ponder the meaning and purpose of life itself, which, in turn, did nothing but tear my soul furthermore.
This was until something changed.
Something so deep, something so valuable, so moving. Something that had the ferocity of one thousand lion’s roars. Something so touching, yet so simple - I stumbled upon the ability to love; not just others, but myself. No longer would I look at myself, and think nothing but a complete waste I was. Nevermore did I worry about my appearance, did I wonder what others were thinking, or even how they used to affect me so wrongly. It felt good, something that I had not felt in a long time. I had, for once, felt happy, courageous, and powerful. I felt confident, and I put this to the utmost of my abilities. All of this, being the result of the love from our heavenly father above - this was the night I had been saved by grace.
It was nothing that no ordinary sinner could not do; there were no particular requirements besides staying true to both God and yourself. It had opened a clear image within my once wicked mind and allowed me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had become more social; I had more friends, more time that was spent in a productive manner, and even a better job. I felt that I had a purpose, I felt that life actually had a meaning… but, just as cliché always has it, happiness seems to always be tailed by anguish, for I had lost someone very valuable to my new life.                              
I saw him appear at the top of the hill. We had thought, for once, that we were alone; little were we aware of the prodigious force that lay at bay. I lay down a blanket atop the snow and descended upon it, breathing in the scent of the fresh, icy forest air. My eyes wandered for a minute on the beautiful scene that lay in front of me, and then over to my lovely partner at the time, who seemed to make everything surrounding me seem indescribably obsolete. He was everything that my wild imagination had ever dreamt of; he’d a very air to him that my mind so often craved, something that seemed to be absent in most others I had ever come in contact with. He was a reasonably intelligent young man of 19 years, and, though we were of similar age, shared very eerie common interests with me. He was, as I, a once insecure mortal being, albeit a relatively attractive one. He seemed to have everything going for him, I had been pondering, until we heard a rustle in the trees beyond, which dissipated my daydreams with a start. Glancing over at me, a worried hint to his alluringly green eyes, he spoke in a soft whisper.
“Did you hear that?” he questioned me, and when I nodded briskly, a suddenly alarmed environment to my atmosphere, he said no more, merely scanning the trees, anticipating something perhaps as minuscule as a thrush. Becoming increasingly worried by the second, I beckoned him closer and embraced him, shaking not only from the chill of the winter dusk but of the fear of the outside forces. This seemed to calm me, for my mind easily wandered from the dangers that could have potentially spawned later on that evening. We put it off as something minor and continued to gaze amongst the sky, which was now clouded with snow clouds that were illuminated by the setting sun. Time seemed to fly by when you were most enjoying the moment because, before we had even realized it, twilight had turned to darkness as a thick, new layer of snow began to fall. Gathering ourselves up, brushing the sparkling flakes from ourselves, we packed our blankets and set off back through the forest in silence.
When we reached the end of the trees and my house came into view, he set me off with a hug and a promise to continue tomorrow. Agreeing, I trudged back to my door, exhausted from the day, opened it quite delicately, and set off towards my room, where I laid down and was almost immediately taken by sleep.
The following morning, I woke up feeling somewhat refreshed, for I had overslept - this was not uncommon for me. Luckily, however, I had nothing else important planned for that day, so I got dressed and set off for the forest once more. As I neared the beginning of the stretch of trees, I noticed that he had been there much earlier than before, which seemed peculiar to me. It seemed to show on my face because he asked of it.
“Are you alright? You look a bit troubled,” he said, as I walked up to him.
“Of course, I was just puzzled as to why you had gotten up earlier than me this time,” I replied, almost amused. He smiled a weird, wicked smile, and seemed to dig deep into his mind the words that he spoke.
“Oh, I just thought I would investigate that noise that we heard yesterday. Not yet have I found anything, perhaps it was just the wind…” he broke off, as the rustling noise had recurred somewhere behind them.
“Ah, there it goes once more, shall we go check it out?” he asked, almost excitedly. I nodded, but rather reluctantly, and we strode off, keeping relatively close for extra comfort. Alas, I spotted something, and stopped in my tracks; it seemed to be a pair of eyes, of what organism I could not immediately identify. I swiftly held my arm out to stop him from walking any further to the creature. He looked over at me, a slightly bewildered look upon his face; I merely pointed at the bushes where I had seen the eyes. He seemed to have taken the clue, and grew silent as he concentrated on the point where the eyes had been. Fear and anticipation trickled like ice-cold water down my spine. I was incredibly tense, my skin scaling up and hairs standing on end. I hardly dared to breathe as I crept closer to the undergrowth. As I began to remove the foliage, it sprang - one of the largest wolves I had ever seen in my life. Screaming with terror, I had managed to dodge the initial wave, but the beast retaliated with such speed that I had no reaction time, and he managed to strike me right in the centre of my back. I fell to the ground as all of the wind had been knocked out of my lungs. I felt fangs drive into the back of my right shoulder, and I, shrieking with pain, managed to flip myself over and wrestle the wolf with great difficulty. Out of the corner of my bloodshot eyes, I saw my lover leap over me and take the wolf down to the ground in a flash. Snarling, the wolf was barreled over, leaving an exposed underbelly, which I took advantage of. Pulling out a pocket knife, I had begun to slash at every inch of exposed flesh, and the agonizing yelps of pain echoed through the forest as the once beautiful snow stained crimson with blood. Weakened, the wolf scrambled free of his grip and tucked tail, running the same way as it had come. Violently trembling with fear, I managed to get to my feet, though not very easily; I had lost much more blood than I could afford, and was starting to feel awfully dizzy. I tried to walk but staggered and lost my balance, falling back to the ground. Thankfully, it seemed that the worst of it had been over.  
However, just then, the most dreaded event happened. I lay there, on the cold earth, unable to act, as the second wolf exploded from the forest in pursuit of vengeance. It tackled my lover, sending them both crashing to the ground in a heap before it began savagely ripping flesh from his exterior being. A bloodcurdling scream escaped him as I watched, mortified. I heard the crunch of bones and caught an awful whiff of sickeningly pungent blood. I cried out, paralyzed with fear and agony, before blacking out, remembering nothing furthermore besides waking up with a familiar face standing by my hospital bed. It was my mother... I looked up at her, groggily. She seemed to have an unreadable expression on her face. Nervously, I sat up, hoping that all was a dream… He couldn’t be gone, not after the miracle that had happened even not weeks before. However, as I continued to gaze at her, the reality struck me. It struck me with much more force than I had ever felt, even inside of my own mind. I could no longer control the spasms that overtook my body as I gasped for breath, tears streaming down my cheeks. My mother said nothing, only leaning forward to comfort me, a look of pure sympathy upon her face. I cried myself slowly and painfully back to sleep, where I was overcome with nightmares that tortured my mind in such ways that no one would ever wish upon an innocent soul. As the days grew on, I had become too ill to speak, much less to move around and operate independently. I was under the constant aid of my mother, who gladly helped me with everything she could manage. She seemed to be the only one left in the world that I cared for, the only hope I had left. However, those thoughts only stayed around for as long as she did; whenever she left the room to go to work or to leave me alone for any amount of time, the torturous thoughts engulfed my mind once more, and eventually it led to thoughts of suicide. I struggled, not knowing whether I should inform my mother on this, in case it wasn’t apparent enough without saying just by my behaviours. I decided to keep it to myself, fully aware of the outcome of the situation. Days turned into weeks, and I had no idea which was which anymore; it’s not like I cared, anyway. My light had been ripped from my life, leaving me groping around in the dark. Even the presence of my mother was beginning to have a negative effect because it always brought back the memories that I strived so hard to forget. Finally, after some months and a lot of faking my emotions, I was released from the hospital, but still under tight security of my mother. She seemed rather suspicious of what was going through my mind, but never really questioned me about it; I guess she expected better out of her daughter. However, when nighttime rolled around, and the thoughts were stronger than ever, I made my decision.
Adding the finishing touches, and making sure to be as silent as I could muster, I stood back to admire the work I had done, so carefully, so neatly. I then folded up the note and placed it neatly on the centre of my bed for my mother to see. I walked over to the window and gazed out of it, taking in all of the beauty of the night as I usually did, except this time, I had nothing more to admire. It seemed that all the beauty in the world had been absent ever since that night. Taking one last glance as I walked away toward my closet, I thought once more about my decision. There seemed to be nothing that could stop me from being separated from him any longer. I walked into my closet, shutting the door very quietly behind me, and stepped on the stool. Making sure the noose was in place, and wouldn’t break with the pull of my weight, I placed it around my neck and breathed in for the very last time before kicking the stool and watching everything I had ever known be erased from my memory as the world around me swirled and turned black, and I heard nothing more.
The next morning, my mother woke up and came in to check on me, anticipating another morning of sleeping in. Instead, rather, she stumbled across the note that I had left for her in the final seconds of my life. Shakily, with tears already falling down her face, she lifted the note, unfolded it, and read:
“Dear mother,
   I know, you may not agree with my decision… but I thought there was no other way to cure the everlasting pain that pestered every second of my life. I felt that life was trying to teach me a lesson… that it isn’t for everyone. I had gone from being so terribly depressed to the best condition that I had ever been in years, only for it to be ruined with something tragic yet again. I could no longer endure the thought that this would only repeat again as an endless cycle, so I selfishly decided on this outcome… I hope you understand, and please, stay alive, for me. Allow me to be a living example of what happens when you allow your mind to control your entire being. I wish to see you when it is your true time.
I love you, and goodbye.”