Aafa(*) paid the taxi driver the 8 euro 50 fare and stepped out of the taxi into the drizzling rain. He looked up and could see the early sun struggling to shine through the grey dismal clouds. Ibrahim, Najim and he walked around to the trunk and picked up the six heavy suitcases. They didn’t look at each other. He trudged forward with a suitcase in both hands towards the trolley racks. A young blonde woman was in the process of grabbing a trolley for her suitcase, she was excited, she was going to leave this dreary city behind for a week and relax and party in Ibiza with her boyfriend. She saw the young man waiting for her to get out of the way, and decided to get one out for him as well. “Good karma right?” she thought, “what comes around goes around.” She stacked her cart with her bundles and rushed off to meet her boyfriend who had already gone into the terminal.
Aafa looked up surprised, as the young lady rolled a trolley towards him smiling. In his head he was screaming, “What are you doing? Does she deserve this?” He wanted to shout and warn the pretty girl but all he could bring himself to do was return the smile awkwardly with tear filled eyes. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands awkwardly, grabbed two more carts and returned with the carts to where his two companions were waiting at the kerb. He was ashamed, he did not want them to see his tears and think he was not loyal. He pulled his black fisherman hat low over his eyes and focused on the floor as they walked towards the entrance of the terminal. He saw a glob of chewing gum and a cigarette butt still smoking lying on the floor and briefly debated walking around it, but decided against it.
When they entered the building they were greeted with a welcoming current of warm air and low hubbub of people talking. He looked up and saw a big sign with a happy blonde family boarding a plane, underneath the slogan was “We hope to see you soon.” Underneath the sign two tall man stood staring menacingly into the crowd. The soldiers were outfitted in full body armour complete with helmets, machine guns, walkie talkies and ski masks covering their face. Aafa made eye contact with the soldier on the left, the soldier stared with ominousness and anger into Aafa’s blank face. A red wave of anger blurred Aafa’s vision and he knew in that moment, that what he was doing was true, it was how it must be. These people were the root and cause of all the wrongs in the world and these infidels had to pay, he recited, remembering sitting in basements of Molenbeek with Najim and his friends repeating the mantra.
Najim motioned for Ibrahim and Aafa to join him a corner, they bowed their heads and Najim recited a prayer from the Qur’an. They prayed for the strength to follow through, this sacrifice was necessary after all, for all of humanity. Aafa thought about the girl, and the other families in the hall, their time to pay for their sins had finally come.
They parted ways, “Allahu Akbar,” God is great they said in their goodbyes. They knew it was not goodbye, they would be together again soon, in a better place. They each walked away in a separate direction, quickly lost in the mingling of the crowds. Aafa went to the center of the hall, above him towered a billboard with all destinations, flight numbers and information. Changing every thirty seconds with a smooth rattle as all the tiles rolled and morphed into other tiles. Aafa prayed, he prayed for his family, he prayed for the innocent people he knew would die today, he prayed for himself and the act of God he was preparing himself to do. He could not live in a society like this, oppression, neglect and disenfranchisement. He had no choice. He was not only fighting for himself, but all his brothers across the world, fighting for their God. He heard a yell, “Allahu Akbar” and a tremendous ear splitting explosion to his right, the ground trembled and he fell to the floor. Dust spiralled through the air as calamity ensued and screaming split the air. Two minutes later, amidst the chaos of the multitude of panicking people the next bomb went off.
Aafa crouched behind his cart, feeling the trigger in his hand. He looked around and saw specks of blood sprayed across the Lufthansa Business Class sign. The attendee of the stand stood there paralyzed in shock. A man in beach attire was sprawled across the floor, a young girl of 7 years old with long, curling, blonde locks, who could have only been his daughter, was hugging him and screaming into his unmoving face. As he watched he saw blood forming rivers and pooling, dust and ash landed gracefully in pools and clouded the surface.

Aafa could not bring himself to do it. He stood up, treaded through the bodies, a peaceful silence clouded his mind, all he could see were the jagged windows ahead of him. He climbed through and down the road and never looked back.

* Arabic for forgiver