I wish it was you sitting next to me instead of this pillow. Sad, I know, but all I have is this pillow. It was all I had to cry on last night when I needed a shoulder. I didn't want a bunch of cloth to hold me while I was crying, I wanted you. I wanted you to be there for me when I needed you most. like you used to. You know that saying, "All good things must come to an end?" Why must they come to an end? Or, "Time flies when you're having fun," even though it doesn't. But, at the same time, it does. When I was with you, time seemed to slow down and speed up at the same time. It seemed as though all the time we spent together went by far too quickly. Why did it ever have to end? No, not why does fun come to an end. I meant, why did you come to an end?

I don't mean the person that I argue with now, because that person is far from you. The real you, anyway. You were always there for me when I needed you. I was always able to talk to you. You didn't care if I was a blubbering mess. You didn't care if I covered your shirt in tears and snot. You didn't care, because as you've said before, and I quote, "A shirt doesn't matter. A shirt can be replaced, but a person like you could never be replaced. Not even if there was someone who acted just like you, there would always be some small difference. I don't care about a shirt; I care about you, and you're all I'll ever care about. Look at me, and listen. I never want to see another tear drop on your face. Unless you're overjoyed, or surprised in a good way, there should never be a stray tear in your eye. I don't think there is anybody worthy of your tears, and there shouldn't be. I hope that I will never be the cause of your tears because if I was, that would mean that I hurt you. I never want to hurt you, but if I do, that day will be my end. If I hurt you, that means I am not worthy of you or your tears. I know that you will never understand what I mean by all of this because you are half asleep, and I will never be able to tell you this when you are fully awake, just know that I love and care for you. I always will. no matter what, you can always come to me, even if I'm in the worst of moods, I will fix it. If I'm mad at you, come to me. Besides, I could never stay mad at you for long. To be honest, I don't even remember the last time I was mad at you for more than an hour. I don't know if it's the way you look at me, with those big brown eyes, or if it's because you are so awkward, there are some things that even I can't help but laugh at. You know how long I can go without talking to someone if I'm really mad. It could go on for weeks. But, to see the hurt in your eyes when I try to ignore you in any way, shape, or form, it kills me to know that I did that to you. Just seeing you like this, half asleep, but not because you're tired in general, but because you're tired of crying. Your face is tear stained, and your eyes still show hurt, even though it's barely there, I still notice it. It absolutely kills me to think about someone doing this to you. I mean, you're so funny, smart, and..."

That was all that I could remember because I fell asleep after that, but you still said those things, and it really hurts to think that you broke a promise that held so much meaning to it. So much truth. I just wish I knew what I did wrong because if I know you, you must have had a good reason; otherwise you wouldn't regard me the way you do.

It's only been a couple of months since you've said that, and within those months, so much has changed. The warm eyes that used to bring me so much comfort now hold icy, cold glares, only pointed my way. The smile that used to be the highlight of my day and brought an identical one onto my face is now gone and has been replaced by a scowl, caused when I walk into a room. I just don't understand what could have happened. We used to be so close, but now we are as far away from each other as two people could possibly be.

Now, I sit here alone, in the same position I have been for the past few hours, and replay that same moment in my head over and over again. Even when I fall asleep, it still continues to run through my dreams, which causes me to never want to wake up again, but sadly, as mentioned before, all good things must come to an end.

I woke after having slept for two hours. I figured that I would be in the same position that I had fallen asleep in, but I wasn't. Somebody was sitting on the edge of my bed and speaking to me, obviously unaware that I was awake, so I simply sat up to find you sitting there, a sad look on your face, staring down at me. You opened your mouth to say something but quickly closed it again and slowly walked out of the room. I heard your feet pounding on the stairs before the front door slammed closed. Quickly, I stood up, grabbed my jacket, and slid on my shoes before following your trail.

I needed to find out what happened. I am so tired of just sitting here and wallowing over something that I had no idea about. After making a few turns, I finally found you sitting on a bench, your head in your hands.

"Alex!" I called, running towards you. You slowly lifted your head and your eyes that had just landed on me, at first softened, but they quickly turned into a glare, obviously trying to hide what you were thinking. You stood up and started walking away, so I yelled, "Wait!" Finally, you turned around.

To Be Continued...