Day 1:
           

I sit in Inferna with the other Broken and wait for what is inevitably coming. Carter sits across from me, legs crossed, head tilted down. He meets my gaze and smiles weakly, then disappears into his thoughts again. That’s one of the best things about him. He doesn’t require constant interaction. I glance around at the people surrounding us. They look like normal people for the most part, but there are little things that let you know they’re Broken. Shadows under their eyes, hunched shoulders, eyes permanently fixed on the ground. I refuse to become like them. The Enforcers can call me Broken, or stick me in Inferna, but I won’t break any more than this. I know why the other Broken act like this, however, and it would be easy to just surrender to it. Time spent in Inferna is simply mind-numbing boredom laced with slowly growing dread.

It takes a couple hours for Carter to say anything. He licks his lips, a nervous habit of his, and looks straight at me. “We’re screwed.”

I let out a short laugh and nod. “Completely.”

He smiles and for a moment nothing really matters and we’re in the City before everything happened and things are back to normal. But only for a moment. Then reality settles back in and his smile fades. “I’m so sorry Rose.”
           

I shake my head. “For what? Telling me the truth?”
            “For getting you involved.”
            I shrug. “That’s okay. I’d rather have this fate than continue living in someone’s demented fantasy.”
            He looks relieved. “I was kinda counting on that.”

Then he looks down again. For a second, I’m worried that he’ll forget about everything. I’m worried that he’ll let it get to him. I’m worried that he will actually become Broken. But I push the thought aside and plan an escape that I will never execute. Might as well. Night comes and I give in to sleep despite myself.

Day 2:
 

Carter wakes up before me. Or maybe he just never went to sleep. I know because he’s crouching next to me when I open my eyes. He holds up three fingers as soon as I’m sitting up.

            “Three. Three people.”
            “What?” I ask.
            “Three people. The Enforcers took two away and one just died. Last night. Three people, Rose.”
            So he didn’t go to sleep after all. “Wow. That’s—wow. Awful.”
            He nods. “Yeah. One of them was only here for three days.”
           

Nobody lasts long in Inferna. There’s water, a clear stream running right through the center, but no food, and the longest a human can go without food is about three weeks. Even so, three days is short. I shiver. “I hope they take us.”
           

Carter licks his lips. “Me too.”
                                                                       *  *  *
We kneel by the stream and drink water from cupped hands.

 I look at Carter, thinking about the gnawing hunger in my stomach. And that’s only after one day. “We could make it shorter by not drinking.”

I frown. “I guess… But it’s not particularly fun to die of starvation or Enforcers either.”
           

He smiles at my morbid joke. “I guess.”

 We make our way back to the place we were earlier, and sat as we did before: facing each other, legs crossed, and silent. It’s amazing how quickly time passes like this. Before I know it, it’s dark and I’m curling up on the hard ground to go to sleep.

Day 3:
           

I wake up to hunger like I’ve never experienced before. I let out a small moan. Carter’s sitting up like he was yesterday. Only this time he’s holding up seven fingers.

He shakes his head. “Seven.” He laughs a little. “Seven. Five just died. Two were taken.”
           

“Carter,” I mumble groggily, “you seriously need to sleep instead of counting the people who die.” His eyes are bloodshot and there are dark circles under his eyes. “Please.”

            He shakes his head.
            “Then sleep right now. You’ll die if you keep this up.”
            He licks his lips and pushes air out of his lungs. “I’ll die anyways.”
            My tongue feels like sandpaper, so I head towards the stream. Carter follows me.
            I turn to him. “I’m so hungry. How has nobody resorted to cannibalism?”
            “I’m sure they would, but the Enforcers take the bodies really quickly after the people die. No time.”
            I blink. “Oh.”
            “Hey Rose?” he asks.
I raise my eyebrows. “Yeah?”
            “What do you think would have happened if the Enforcers hadn’t caught us?”
            “I don’t know. We probably would have died before we got to any other people, if there are other people outside of the City. But at least we would have died free. And maybe we wouldn’t have died.”
           

He sighs. “Okay. That’s what I thought.”? For a fleeting moment, I’m angry at him. I could be at home with my family right now. Sure, I would be living a lie, but at least I’d be living. I blink and push the thought away. Death is better than staying in the City. I’m not sure if I believe myself.
           

There’s a crowd of people relatively close to our regular spot. We go check it out. It’s a new person. A short woman with curly blond hair who looks to be in her early to mid-twenties.
 

Carter and I head back to our spot and sit, which seems to be all we do besides drink water. We sit and wait for night.

Day 4:
           

The hunger at this point is unbearable. Even the slightest movement sends daggers of pain through my whole body. The fact that this is only the beginning fills me with unspeakable fear.
           

Carter holds up two fingers. He looks terrible. “I think the Enforcers take two people every night.”
           

I feel tears sting my eyes, and scold my dumb emotions for wasting hydration on crying. “Carter, you have to sleep.”
            “Don’t worry,” he says, “I know what I’m doing. This is what I want.”
            I glower at him like a four year old who just found out that it’s their bed time. “But what about what I want?”
            He licks his lips and swallows. “Sorry.”
           

The pain of the hunger is so intense that we can barely drag ourselves to the stream and back. That’s all that happens until I fall gratefully into sleep, Carter sitting up, looking at me apologetically.

Day 5:

When I wake up, Carter’s eyes keep closing by themselves, only to be jerked open. He doesn’t have the strength to hold up any fingers.
            “Four,” he mumbles.
 

I shake my head with disappointment, an action that is rewarded with the worst headache imaginable. “I can’t believe you’re giving up.”
            He shrugs slightly.
            We don’t go to the stream at all. We just sit there until night falls on us like a blanket.

Day 6:
           

The hunger feels like being stabbed repeatedly. A day without water was incredibly taxing and I don’t look forward to another one; there’s no way I can go all the way to the stream. Carter’s lips are cracked and bloody. His eyes are droopy and red, surrounded by bruise-colored flesh.

 “Six,” he croaks. My heart falls. I was hoping he had fallen asleep on accident.
           

We sit in silence, looking at the tortured people around us. I have conflicting emotions. Every instinct in my body is telling me to stay alive, but I just want to make my time here shorter. It’s clearly less of a choice for Carter. He has his mind set on the “easy” way out. It’s painful to watch. And Inferna is painful enough.
           

Thoughts and hunger and anger drown out all the noise around me. I no longer hear Carter’s rasping breaths, or the moans of those who have been here for too long, or the steady trickle of the stream. I only hear the furious, unrelenting noise of my mind. I don’t notice falling asleep.

Day 7:
            I guess I slept too long and Carter got tired of waiting for me, because I wake to a poke in the side.
            “Three,” he says quietly.
            My head pounds and my throat burns, begging for water. I’m past trying to convince Carter to sleep. For a moment I allow my instincts to take over. I crawl towards the stream and collapse before I move three feet. The pain in my entire body has multiplied by ten. I bury my face in my hands and moan.
            “Rose?” It’s barely audible.
            I force myself to turn around, ignoring the pain for a split second. “Yes?”
            He’s silent for a moment. “I’m sorry.”
            He looks like he’s about to break in two. I swallow. “It’s okay.”
            Carter frowns and shakes his head. “It isn’t okay. You’re going to die because of me.”
            “Well, I forgive you.”
            He licks his lips. “Well, you shouldn’t.”

Day 8:
           

He’s not there when I wake up. I’m in too much pain to fully process this information, so I look to a man next to me. “Do you know what happened to the boy who was sitting here?”
           

The man doesn’t make eye contact. “He died last night.”
           

The rest of the day is a blur. Without Carter to ease the nothingness, every hour melts into the next.

Day 9:
           

I wake up without remembering falling asleep. I turn to Carter, curious, despite everything, about the number of people who died. Then I remember that he’s gone. Bitter tears push out of my eyes. The pain of starving is nothing compared to the pain of losing him. The day goes slowly and painfully with nothing of interest.
           

I’m awakened in the middle of the night by an Enforcer.
           

He smiles at me. “You’re lucky,” he says. “It’s your turn now.”