I awoke with a start. Breathing heavily, I smiled. My room was exactly as I had left it. I look over to my wall full of shelves for trophies. I glance at the floor, broken bits and pieces of trophies that taunt. The closet that is filled with costumes I will never wear again.

I laid back down, overwhelmed with what had happened. Looking over at the time, 5:20, I closed my eyes only to feel silent sobs rack my body, louder, louder, until it was close to a scream.

Doors opened quickly, loudly. I put my hands over my ears. They rushed to my door and knocked. “Honey, can I come in? What’s the matter?” I blamed them for being so oblivious.

“NO!” I yelled,” Go away!” I could almost see their pained faces, silently wishing that they could do something.

I just needed time, I hoped. My dreams had been crushed; nothing could make me feel better. Just a week ago, I had been this normal, happy girl. Nothing was standing in my way, nothing, now the odds were against me.

I could feel the searing pain spreading from my knee all the way up to my torso. I cried out in pain, swung my leg over the side of the bed and found the handle of my crutch. I slowly stood up, wincing. Clink, clink, clink! The noise made the air move. I was desperate to run, to jump to soar past my limits. I tripped.

I squealed, and my parents rushed to help. Questions came knocking at the door of my mind. I could open the door, welcome them, or close the shutters and shut them out.

I opened the door. “I’m fine, Mom.” She reached out, as she picked up the crutch she knocked open the door, displaying the broken trophies and plaques. She gasped her hand at her mouth. She turned to go in. I could feel the tension building, like a blank about to be fired,” NO!” The noise that came out was like an animal waiting to be released. Shocked as I was, I still stood up. Bright red warning lights shot through my body, up my spine, into my head, and came out as pain.

There was a scream far away, everything went white. As I collapsed, I realized that the scream came from me.

It had always been me.