She was staring at me again, with those pitiful eyes I can’t stand. Today was worse than yesterday, even the people that despise me the most acted like I was glass and if they touched me I would break. How can they break an already broken girl though? I hate all these sympathetic looks people give me, especially from the girl that caused them all. She’s the reason I don’t think I’ll trust again, the reason I’m broken, but worst of all the reason my best friend is dead. Her name even makes me puke, Chelsea Borsic who names someone that anyway. You’re probably wondering how one person can ruin your whole life, well it all started with a dare two months ago. “Come on we have to go, this is our one chance of becoming popular,” my best friend London persisted. We were just invited to the biggest party in the school by all the populars, the only problem is we aren’t popular. London thinks that they all finally understood that we actually aren’t ugly turtles, but I knew that there was something deeper in this situation. After an hour of bickering I made the worse decision of my life and told her, yes. After another hour of getting ready and looking like complete clowns we were ready to enter ‘fashionably late’ as she says. You didn’t need an address to tell where the party was because you could already hear in ten miles away. Once we arrived there was a horrible stench and once we got inside my previous thoughts were correct, it appeared to be a mix of alcohol and vomit. My chain of thoughts seemed to be broken when Chelsea ‘accidentally’ dumped a thing of alcohol on my new dress. This stupid action made the whole house die with laughter, but I had to be the better person so I contained my tears and walked to the nearest bathroom. After an hour of trying to get the stain and disguising smell off me, I just gave up. When I walked back to the party I realized it didn’t even matter because everyone was drunk and wouldn’t remember. It was quite scary seeing the people you grew up with acting so differently, I didn’t even recognize some of my classmates. Another thing scared me even more though, throughout the whole house London couldn’t be seen. After a while I finally heard her soothing laughter and found my legs heading toward her destination. Once I reached where she was located, my heart stopped and I thought my head was creating unreasonable allusions. She was sitting there, laughing may I add, with Chelsea Borsic our worse enemy. After blinking multiple times I came to a disappointing conclusion, what I saw in fact was true. I sat down next to her only receiving a glare, not from the smirking Chelsea, but from my best friend. The next words she said felt like a thousand knife cutting though me, “you can’t sit here its already embarrassing enough that I’m talking to you.’’ My heart started to race and I couldn’t find myself to say anything so I ran like a coward. I told myself it was only the alcohol and everything would be fine in the morning but not everything you wish for comes true. The next few weeks she didn’t even look at me and when she did her face was pure disgust. Lurking through the halls was my name that seemed to be whispered by every person in the school. I later found out all my secrets I had told London were out and running in every girls mind. My only friend had forgotten about me and even worse she left me for Chelsea. I remember the day I had enough and confronted her, it was during lunch when Chelsea and her looked at me and laughed. I walked up to her said the one word I was dying to know, “why?” For a second she just looked at me and stared but then she laughed, and laughed, and laughed after her laughing died down she seemed confused and replied, “wait are you serious,” in a pitchy fake voice. When she realized I was serious she only said three words that shattered my heart, “someone better came.” Along with my shattered heart came a waterfall of tears, and for the second time I ran like a coward. My best friend since kindergarten hates me and now my worst nightmare came true, I’m alone. I wonder how Chelsea brain washed my best friend and why she did, but a week later I found out. It isn’t fun being alone all the time, and while your alone in your bedroom you have time to look at yourself and understand exactly why your alone. I’m alone because my best friend suddenly left me for someone better; I now understand why she left me. I couldn’t offer her what she wanted, popularity, but at the time I had much worse thoughts. The demons at my brain took their chance at my vulnerability and yelled at me the ugliest comments, at first I didn’t believe them but once you hear them every second of the day you get brainwashed into their desire. Every day since London left me I thought it was because I’m ugly, nerdy, not athletic, fat, stupid, and a lot more terrible words; sometimes I still wonder if that’s part of why she left me.
I remember the exact day when her whole world came tumbling down and even though she hated me seeing my best friend suffer was like sweeping up the remains of my heart and burning them away. It was at school during lunch; Chelsea and London were having a huge fight at the popular table over cool kid drama stuff and everyone was listening. I only picked up that London kissed Chelsea’s boyfriend but that wasn’t as bad as what Chelsea said after that. “I only hung out with you because I got dared to and the whole school knows it too, everyone knows what a loser you are and that your whole family are dumb hobos,” she seemed to scream in London’s face. She wasn’t done yet though, “no one will ever like such an ugly slob like yourself so why don’t you just go kill yourself!” London burst in tears and tried to escape the huge mob laughing at her but they were to strong and kept her there so she could be humiliated even more. After a while I couldn’t take it so I crawled in there and scream for everyone to leave and once again they started in a fit of laughter. I threated them with the principle and that seemed to work so once the crowd dissolved London and I were alone. Even the ashes in my heart were gone by now, so with the ashes gone the only thing left to break was the wall holding up all my tears and that’s exactly what it did, break. We seemed to be crying forever but I was fine with that as long as my best friend was right next to me. Once we stopped crying I went to say something but it was too late she ran out that door so quickly. When I went to find her it wasn’t till an hour later when I checked her beat up house I found out where she was. In her room was the most horrifying sight I think I ever saw, my best friend dead.