“Okay Johnson. This is your third time this week coming in late. Explain. And make it good.”

Crap! Not again. This can not be happening again. I cant tell him I over slept! He’ll defenestrate me! He did it to Bob last week! I still can't get the image of him flying out the window out my mind. Okay he likes great elaborate unbelievable stories. Time to finally put those creative writing classes to use.

“ You see Mr.Gill, I promise that I didn't oversleep or anything like that. So this is what happened. I was leaving out of my apartment, which is on the 17th floor, when all of a sudden my crazy ex Stacy came running at me with an ax!”

“ You mean the crazy one from the Christmas Party?”

“ Yup.”

“Still have nightmares. Continue.”

“ So she running at me with this ax while wearing a hockey mask. SO i took off running. We did at least 20 lap around my floor. that took about 30 minutes. Luckily her asthma kicked in and she passed out. I couldn't just leave her there. She might be crazy and all but she still deserves to live.”

“ I would’ve left her. Continue.”

“ So I called an ambulance and her parents. And had to wait for them to get there which took another 30 minutes or so. After they carted her away I walked to my elevator and it got stuck! And there was a pregnant lady on with me and she went into labor! Her husband had passed out. So I had to help her give birth! and attempt to wake up her husband! They named the baby after me. But it took at least 2 hours to get everything situated. But eventually I made it to my car. I going down the main street when I got stuck in a traffic jam do to people running away from a escaped wild gorilla from the zoo who was flinging cars. So I had to re-route! As I was driving I got cut of my a little people riot. They were burning stores and and anything that had to do with Willy Wonka, The Wizard of Oz, or Snow White. They were really angry the had tired down anyone who was tall. Then they all came rushing at me! They tipped my car over and tried to set it on fire! I made it out unscathed. But they started chasing me! So I had to run until I lost them and walk to work. That’s why I'm late sir.”

“Wow. No defenestration for you Johnson.”