I stood there and watched as they dove into the pools of blood. A blood bath.
My life never meant anything to me. It seemed that everyone I loved hurt me. I was broken, barely making efforts to stay alive. But he got me through it all. When he left me my world turned upside down. I'd drink until the liquor took over my body. In the mornings I'd puke my insides out. I tried to find love in other men; but they'd love me and leave the next day. I'm giving up. He said he'd be back. He lied. It's been three years.
I felt as if my heart was no longer with me. It left me just like everyone else did. But would I blame my heart? No.
Someone can put up with only so much heartache, sorrow, stress, and insecurities. Slowly I lost my emotions. I felt nothing. Occasionally I'd get an empty feeling, but most times there was nothing. The most painful thing one can feel is to love someone more than they love themselves.
Usually we would despise those who hurt us. He hurt me: mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet I loved him and he loved me. He'd tell me his circumstances were different. He wanted me to leave. It was dangerous to love his kind. It was never just one thing. Trust, love, virtue, innocence, self worth, he took it all. With those three words he unknowingly held it all against me. He wanted me to walk away, but I wasn't ready. My future was planned; he was a big part of it. He knew he was, but he had no intentions of turning them into a beautiful reality. He shattered me and expected me to put myself back together. I wonder if he'd still be able to recognize me today, the once perfect glass now cracked and crooked.
Ever since he left I've enrolled in college and took up a modelling gig. They tell me my 5 foot 10 inch slim build is perfect. My tan skin compliments my green eyes and long chestnut hair. Everything has changed, except my apartment. Our apartment.
The raven came back. Every month a raven with piercing yet warm eyes sits on the ledge of my kitchen window. It always watches me. Adjusting its stance as I move around the apartment. I never thought much of it, until September 13th. I was reading a book sitting in my living room area, on the burgundy couch. I looked up to be greeted by the Raven at the window. Today, it seemed different. The usually dark eyes had a fiery glow, much like the stormy clouds outside. I turned back to my book to hear its beak tap against the window. The rain poured harder and harder. Suddenly the raven raged. It screeched, yelled. The noises were so much like a human's screams of agony. Dropping my book I rushed to the window to let the raven in. Struggling to get the latch open I saw the Raven's eyes glow green, the Raven expanded. I saw flesh, human flesh under its feathers. With one strong pull the latch opened and the raven flew with fury into the black recliner. His recliner.
The bird yelled in despair. Suddenly the screeching turned into screams, the coal feathers fell to the ground. Its wings grew hands and arms, the twig legs now muscular and covered with cinnamon coloured glowing skin. I knew it was Aran, my Aran. I knew when I saw his mesmerizing brown eyes. I fell in love a little more every time I looked into them. He yelled for me to move. "MOVE YOURSELF ALLIYAH, MOVE!" Aran yelled. I stumbled back, tripping on my own feet until I was huddled into the corner of the living room. Aran grew silent. I looked up to see him laying in a bed of black feathers. His back rose and fell with each short breath. "Aran... are you ok? C-could I come a little closer?" I stood up and made my way slowly towards him. He moved his body, adjusted it so that he was sitting cross legged facing me.
He pulled out a feather, it was as if it came out of nowhere, silky and black, it was almost glowing. Without saying a word, he grabbed my arm and held me close. He traced his fingers around my forearm and seemed to be chanting under his breath. In a matter of moments, he began to engrave an intricate design into my arm, one that looked almost identical to his. The silence between us began to intensify when he held my hand and our tattoos began to glow. The last thing I remember was his touch feeling as magnetic as our first embrace. Before I could let go my world faded away before me.
I sat there waiting, watching; it was as if my eyes were fastened to her dying body. What had I done? I did all of that thinking I was her lover, after all I assumed I had rights over her. But I was gone for so long. I don’t even know if her feelings still remain the same. Why won’t she wake up? Maybe her body won’t accept the change. I watched as her chest was slowly rising and collapsing as her lifeless body began to breathe once again.
I felt as if there was a boulder resting on my chest. I couldn't breathe, it hurt so bad. My eyes felt as if they were glued shut. I forced them open and the light blinded me. My arms felt swollen and heavy. I was tied down. Why was I tied down? The last thing I could remember was Aran. Aran came back, but where is he? My eyes frantically searched the room for him, did he leave me here? He left me again. How could he? All these thoughts racing through my head. Then I saw him. Sitting on his recliner, eyes filled with sadness and tears rolling down his cheeks and falling onto his deep carmine lips.
Aran forced a smile, "I'm sorry you're tied up, I just didn't want you to hurt yourself while the change took over. I really-" Shocked I yelled, "WHAT CHANGE? WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ARAN?" I was angry, what change? What has he done to me? Aran came over and started to untie me. He was quiet and so was I. As soon as my hands were free I'd punch the little s*** in the face. How could he come back to me after years and do all this? Aran stopped midway and said "Look Aaliyah, I know you probably want to beat the s*** out of me right now. I know you do. But let me explain myself please?" Oh so he wants to talk this out. "Whatever, just untie me. We can talk. I'm still really freaking mad Aran, "I said as I sat up. Aran laughed. " You're so cute when you're mad. Your nose wrinkles up, so cute!"
We sat in my living room on the bed of black silky feathers for hours. He explained the entire change process. My body was taking it very well. Aran held my hand, "Look, you may still be mad at me Aaliyah, but this way we can be together forever. This way it'll be safer! I really want to take you back to my world. Please?"He kissed my forehead. I didn't say anything. I really do love him, I want to be with him forever. "But how the heck am I supposed to just go into your world? What is your world? You don't tell me s*** Aran, give me answers, now." Aran's smile faded, he sat up straight." My world is the world of the Cherokee Raven mockers. We are known as the angels of death. Usually we make our ways to the dying. We eat their souls." Eat their souls? What the heck. he went on."We're ruled over by one man. I've never seen him. But we're not supposed to turn anyone. I turned you. I broke the rules.
I was hesitant. I mean what if I don't fit in? I don't think I can leave this new world I've created for myself. Would I go with the man who hurt me, left me. The man I love more than I do myself. Or stay safe in my own world?