November 20, 2011
It was inevitable for me to try to break through. I was born in a different era, or a different world. Ever since I was a little kid, I felt a desire to just wander the lands and live in solitude. Solitude is the best companion I could ever ask for. And here I am, aged 19, but not too old, finally attaining my dream. Illogical it seems to just leave everything behind: Identity, family, and so forth. It’s not permanent, but neither is my conclusion. I hitched from Phoenix, Arizona to New Mexico. I’m not quite sure where I am going, but I know what I am doing. I need peace and tranquility in my mind; I want this irrational desire more than anything that was going on in my life: College, my girlfriend of four years, and my family. I hate the turn this world is taking, why are things so bad? Worse off, why are so many people ignorant of what’s going on? Living amongst the animals, the wild, the natural is so honest, so real. Anyways, I will write more when I can; I have to take advantage of sleeping in an air conditioned car.
November 29, 2011
Man, it’s been quite exhausting, but I expected as much. I don’t quite like New Mexico. Although there are some nice locations. Yesterday, I camped out in this creek area, and shot a javelina. Never had them before. It was a like a cross of pork and beef. So good. I work on clearing some traps that were left out, had a nice slumber, hiked several miles to find a good swim spot and took a nice swim. Cleaned the Javelina, cooked it. I was reading this mini world atlas I brought along, and I decided I want to head out towards New Zealand. Man! Is that the place I yearn for, the temperature, the scenery, the tranquility of the land, the culture. I have my college savings and I can use it to buy a ticket there, tomorrow I will be heading’ down to Albuquerque international.
November 30th, 2011
I know I can’t regret this.
December 1st, 2011
I am overwhelmed by the preserved natural beauty, and crisp air. I was meant to come here. I had to buy winter gear, I didn’t think about that.
December 3rd, 2011
Not sure where I am.
December 7th, 2011
Working and sustaining for myself is the most pleasant thing
December 8th, 2011
Just sitting in this land is all the therapy in the world that I could want
December 15, 2011
Met a band of aboriginal wanderers today, they were sort of loopy but I liked them.
December 16, 2011
Last night I had an overwhelming dream of Delilah, my girlfriend. The only person that could possibly understand me in this world. I just left her, and without a call.
December 17, 2011
A couple of months ago, I remember how proud my parents were to realize that I had made it into Princeton. I was going to study law, just like all of the men in my family. Marry my girlfriend of four years. My best mate was going to Princeton to. To many people this was the idyllic life. And it was idyllic. I liked it for a while. But I prefer this, and how guilty I am of this. You see I am sort of an introvert. Loneliness is Euphoric for me. But I’ve been considering bringing my girlfriend along. I found a nice terrain, where I would like to build a hut, I’ve made friends with a sheep, and all I need in this world is this land and Delilah. Here I could continue writing books, writing music, sustaining myself, maybe start a family. Maybe, just maybe.
December 21st, 2011
Delilah is here, how perfect this is!

Today is the day January 16th 2012. A tragedy happened Delilah, her sweet innocent soul, ignorant of the wilderness... I found her. God I can’t even f***ing. I found her body mutilated. It was a wild animal most likely. She was looking for berries in a wild animal infested land. I’ve been going crazy, not like frenzy crazy, but calm crazy. That is the worst. If I don’t have her, I don’t have anyone in the world. I always told myself that I would want to die freezing because I have always been cold. Today is my last day here, last hour. I lived the life I wanted even if it was short. I loved. And now I die.