Long long ago there was a girl named Payton and well that’s me and I guess it wasn’t that long ago, but never mind that shhh…my story is about to begin.

Every morning at six I’d wake up to the blaring sound of my alarm clock. When I was younger my mother would tell me my dark brown almond shaped eyes would pop open at 6 o’clock on the dot like some freaky robot. With one hand crashing down on the clock and the other sliding back the curtain my eyes gazed into what laid outside my window. Instant light filled the room and beautiful colors filled my eyes from the gardens of flowers to the freshly painted houses, a sight that could make anyone happy anyone but me. I turned away and stared at the mirror. In that mirror was a girl that stood 5’4 268lbs she had short black hair, light skin a chunky face, a puppy dog nose and a pudgy waist. I didn’t like that girl, I hated that girl but no matter what I did every time I stared into that mirror she stared right back at me.

It was the beginning of my sophomore year and I dreaded the thought of spending another day at Wilson High. From the moment the car stopped and the door closed I could feel the stares and hear the laughter. My family didn’t have a lot of money after my dad ran off so I didn’t have a bunch of new school clothes. My closet was full of whatever shirts my mom found that I could fit into and even some I couldn’t. On my feet were old shoes passed down from my older sister. As I neared the front entrance I could hear Emily say, “Eww look at Payton’s shirt it doesn’t even fit her.” Emma joined in, “I can’t believe she’d wear that like does she not own a mirror!” They laughed then Elizabeth said, “It doesn’t matter what she wears have you seen her!” the laughter had started again.
Emily, Emma, & Elizabeth were sisters and they were absolutely gorgeous from their long silky hair to their sharp features. In elementary school they were my best friends. Sometimes I’d refer to them as the three e’s but that all had changed in high school. I remember former teachers telling me each grade would be harder than the last. Silly me assumed they meant the work. The day had gone on and I approached my last class. Inside the teacher started off by asking us a question. She went around the room and we all had to answer what we wanted to be. The question came around to me and before I could answer Emily did for me. “Payton wants to be a model!” she said loud enough for the entire class to hear. A burst of laughter followed. During the time when we were friends I told Emily that my dream was to be a model. Thinking back I wish I hadn't. Another first day had been ruined and I feared the next 179 days.

At home it was just my mother and I and we hadn’t been very close for a while. With so many changes in my house, from my father leaving to my sister being away at college, my mother just wasn’t the same. My sister was beautiful, she was thin, she was popular, she was everything I wasn’t and my mom praised her. And me? Well I was more of the letdown, the kid that was just there in the way most of the time. Why wasn’t I beautiful like my sister? Why was I so worthless? Why did everyone hate me so much? Questions I constantly asked myself. I wished so much that things could be different that things could change and people actually would see me for who I was inside.

The next day my morning didn’t start out the same. Six o’clock came and six o’clock went but my alarm stayed silent and my eyes stayed shut. At 6:30 am. My alarm made that blaring sound like every other morning. I rushed out the bed no stops to look outside not even a glance at the mirror. I threw on my clothes and was gone out the door. My mother left every morning at 6:25am, for work which meant I had just missed my ride to school. This was typical for my life just when I had felt things couldn’t be worse they became worse. As I walked toward the school I saw a book lying directly in my path. Normally I wouldn't have touched a thing like that but there was something different about this book, something special even. It was brown with gold a lock and words that said this book will only unlock for the girl who needs it most. When I tried to open the cover the lock disappeared and only one page had words. “The person reading this has a heart of gold and for the next 24 hours that is all anyone will see.” I quickly shut the book I wasn’t sure what to think so I tossed it. As if things weren’t bad enough now I was hallucinating.
At school I walked into class and instead of the normal snickers and jokes I heard nothing. Then a voice from the back of the room shouted “Hey Payton come sit with us!” I looked up and it was Emily. I knew this had to be one of their silly pranks but I couldn’t say no. I didn’t say anything I just sat down and before I knew it they were for once laughing with me and not at me. It didn’t make sense. Yesterday they were making fun of me and the next day they were my best friends. It was weird. At home my mom greeted me with a hug and asked about my day. My mom hadn’t asked about my day in … I don’t remember her ever asking about my day. It was the book I knew it had to be.
There was no other explanation for everything that had happened. I searched all over for that book and it was getting late when I finally found it. When I opened the book the words had changed. “8 hours left”. What was I going to do? I couldn’t go back to how things were I needed more time, but there was nothing I could do. The next morning went a lot like my first day only this time instead of looking out my window or in the mirror I looked into the book. Every page was blank. Tears began rolling down my face and dropping into the book. I yelled at the book, “Why? Why did you do this to me? Why did you change everything then take it away from me?” I wiped my eyes and went to close the book but the page was no longer blank. “In your heart you are beautiful but you won’t allow your mind to believe that and until you believe no one will.” I spent so much time wanting to be what I thought everyone else wanted and that I forgot the most important part … to just be me.

Today I run my own business; a magazine for plus sized models and every now and then I do a little modeling too. Now when I look in the mirror I see a girl staring back at me. She’s beautiful, she’s confident, she’s happy. I love that girl and every time I stare into that mirror she smiles and stares right back at me.