A Mantis Shrimps Life
By: Andrew Polker

A calm day in the sea, schools of fish were swimming by uncaring of the activity around them. A pod of whales in the distance calves staying close to their mothers, there was undersea flora scattered across the sea floor. Brightly colored coral reefs jutting up from the Earth create a diverse terrain as well as plenty of hiding places for predators and prey alike. Then slowly paddling it’s way along Punchy the Peacock Mantis Shrimp glides through the water, the rest of the sea creatures gave him a wide birth and weary glances. No one knew what could set a Mantis Shrimp of, it could be the way you look at it or just being in his general area when he gets hungry, but one thing is certain, you make them angry you’re going to be dismembered. That was just how it worked the kill or be killed rule was the rule of the sea, it was a beautifully simple and tragic way of living.

Punchy made his way to his friend’s small burrow of residence. Spike and his mate Barb were some of Punchy’s oldest friends. They both belong to the spear type of their kind with sharp barbed claws, this was a stark contrast to Punchy’s own smasher type claws, and he once heard them referred to as “Edward Bowling Ball” hands, whatever that means. The pattern on his friend’s shell was also a drastic change from his own, while he had bright neon colors with no specific pattern yet his friends had darker colors and a defined pattern. Coming out of his reminiscing he noticed that he almost to the entrance of the hidey hole that allowed Spike to surprise attack his unsuspecting victims. “Hello, is there a psychopathic spear hunter in,” Punchy stated in an all too naïve voice. “Hey, if you do that you’ll blow my cover,” was the response that Spike gave”, and isn’t about time you went out hunting to find some food yourself”. “Oh and miss out on a chance to tease you, never,” came the sing song voice of our favorite animal boxer. “Maybe you should go bug Boil,” the pointy fisted friend droned out,” I’m sure that he misses you”. “Fine, if you’re going to be that way then I’ll leave just say hi to Barb for me, ok,” was Punchy’s response to his friends foul mood, he must have been hungry.

So our protagonist made his way to Boil’s little nook. Boil, now he was an interesting little bugger. Just thinking of him made Punchy remember how he got that name, one day when they were younger Punchy, Spike, Barb, and Boil were floating around not doing much when a particularly annoying clown fish made a passing comment that sent Boil on a rampage. The fish was undeterred and start laughing and making jokes while swimming for his life. One of the jokes was that if Boil wasn’t careful his anger would boil him alive, add in the fact that Boil was part of a smaller sub-species of Mantis Shrimp made it all the more hilarious, the rest of the group thought that is was so funny that they started calling him Boil and the name just stuck. After that memory had passed Punchy knocked on rock next to the entrance to the small hole that Boil had claimed for his own.
“So how’s our favorite little crazy head doing today,” that was a winning greeting. “Shaddup, that was a terrible way of saying hi,” the forever angry shrimp blurted. “Nice to see that you’re in a good mood today,” Punchy said in a tone fake happiness while Boil grumbled under his breath. “How the flying butter balls do we speak and have breathe under water,” Boil stated out of nowhere. “Quiet, if you question it the realism will be lost,” “What realism,” “Never mind,” that finished the small conversation. “Hey Boil, wanna spar,” “Oh, you are on buddy I still owe you for last time,” “Hey that was a completely legitimate strategy,” “Screaming Sparta so loud that I have to cover my ears is not a strategy, by the way what is a ‘Sparta’ anyway,” “I don’t know but it sounded like a war cry, now one two three death”.
The battle lasted a good while with it ending in a draw. After it was over Punchy and Boil said their good-byes and Boil went back into his home while Punchy headed of in the search of food. Thus closes our look into the life of one the most psychotic killing machines of the sea. On a side note if you wish to see as a Mantis Shrimp imagine a color you can’t even imagine then do that eight more times that is how the Mantis Shrimp do. Side note number two if you wish to have one as a pet don’t use cheap glass, if you do one of the little monsters will probably bust through it and devour you face, for only getting up to a foot in length these face punchers are surprisingly deadly.