To understand Carrie, an explanation of her name is first necessary. Her given name is actually Charity, but “love, faith, and hope” were things that Charity deemed pitiful and inadequate, so Charity took it upon herself to become Carrie. And Carrie, at age twelve, was just your average middle school girl who wasn’t exactly on top of anyone’s social pyramid. However, Carrie had a younger brother, Justin, two years younger to be exact, and Justin was the only friend that she needed. Their parents had been happily married for over fifteen years, and theirs was a fairly happy household in the end.
“Carrie! We’re going to be late! Again!” Justin shouted at Carrie in an attempt to hurry her. But Carrie was not the type to be hurried. Even by her only friend and little brother.
“If we’re late, then we’re late,” Carrie casually responded as she picked out her outfit for the day.
“I can’t miss gym today! We’re swimming!”
“Go swim in traffic, I’m getting ready!”
Justin angrily stomped out the front door and hurried his way towards school, resentful that he had to make the short journey on his own and not with his still, though they fought plenty like they did this morning, beloved sister. Carrie, finally ready after rifling through her complete wardrobe, strolled out the door in simply jeans and a t-shirt. There was no swimming pool waiting for her in first period. It was just English, a tedious yet somehow loud class filled with people she barely knew. Why didn’t she connect with any of these kids? Carrie didn’t know. But she didn’t really care either.

When the bell rang, she dragged herself in an unmotivated stagger to her next class: history. Carrie dreaded history even more. History class was a crotchety man just speaking at you, not with you, for 40 minutes, as you struggled to stay awake and got yelled at by this boringly dreadful man if you didn’t. But, just as her eyes were on verge of closing completely, the principal’s voice rang through the loud speaker. Everyone in class jumped at the buzz of the PA system. The principal never gave announcements. Most of the kids had never even heard his voice before.
“Carrie Morris, please report to the principal’s office immediately.”
Carrie’s “I-care-not” attitude buckled. She didn’t really care about school, or friends, but no one likes getting into trouble, and she racked her brain thinking of what she could have done to deserve discipline. She nodded to her boring teacher as he waved her off on her way. Carrie cautiously approached the principal’s office, wiping the sweat from her hands, readying herself for whatever punishment awaited her. She was surprised, and her fears heightened to their limits, when she saw Aunt Elizabeth sitting in the principal’s office. This couldn’t be good. Would she be yelled at? Embarrassed? Grounded? What in the world had she done?

And then Carrie saw that her aunt was crying.
“What’s wrong?” Carrie asked.

As everyone did nothing but continue to cry, Carrie began to panic.
“What’s wrong! What happened! TELL ME!!”

She barely caught the words bunched in tearful blubbering that sounded faintly like her brother’s name, Justin, escape her aunt’s lips.
“Carrie,” Principal Lee said quietly, “there was a terrible accident… Your brother collided with another student in the swimming pool during gym class this morning,” Principal Lee paused and gathered himself. “He was knocked unconscious and drowned.”
“What!!??” Carrie immediately gasped. “Drowned?! So he’s dead??!!”
Carrie’s aunt took over as she embraced Carrie, “I’m so sorry honey… there was just nothing anyone could do.”
As softly as he could, Principal Lee spoke in the background again, “We took him to Holy Cross Hospital, but by the time we arrived, it was already too late. I am so sorry Carrie…”

Carrie stood there numb-struck with disbelief until she felt the firm embrace of her Aunt. Everything they just told her was real. As Carrie and her aunt both sobbed in each other’s arms, Carrie had never felt so much love and caring from a hug until that time. But then the magnitude of learning she just lost her one and only brother began to sink in. The feeling of warmth and comfort soon turned to anxiety and panic. Carrie’s world caved in on her as she lost consciousness, and her body became limp in Aunt Elizabeth’s arms.
"Mom..? Where am I?" a dazed Carrie asked, as she looked around the white hospital room.
"Hey sweetie... Are you feeling better?"

Carrie looked confused as she saw her aunt sitting next to her on her bed. But in the next moment, the memory of the news of her brother came flooding back to her. She started to yell for Justin, while tears streamed down her cheeks.


Several months passed after Justin’s death. Carrie wasn’t the same. Her family wasn’t the same. Carrie’s parents didn’t see each other for long periods of time; her father came home late at night, drunk. Her mother got a job to distract her from thinking about Justin, and came home late as well. Her family was breaking apart, and as for Carrie, she had completely given up on everything that mattered to her before.

Her friends all encouraged her to go to a support group or a therapist, but she stubbornly refused to go because she thought therapy was for "crazy people." Until one day, Aunt Elizabeth tricked Carrie, and what was supposed to be an afternoon hot chocolate at Starbucks, turned out to be a visit to Dr. Wayne’s office, a child therapist. Not amused in the least bit, Carrie sat through the session, arms crossed, answering all of Dr. Wayne’s ridiculous questions. As she sat in the room she thought to her herself as she gave mundane answers to equally mundane questions.
“Is this what I have become?” Carrie thought silently.
When the session ended, Carrie quickly exited the room and building. She could not remember a thing that Dr. Wayne said, but for some reason, she felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. Something was moving her, deep down, to accept Justin’s death and move on.
“Maybe therapy sessions aren’t so crazy after all,” she left with a smile on her face.

That night, she unconsciously walked into Justin's old room. His toys, his bed, his scent still lingered. Carrie's parents were supposed to clean out the room, but they too were in denial and constantly pushed the task off. Since no harm could be done, she started organizing and packing things away in Justin's room. As she picked up the gadgets he had used on a daily basis, Carrie was surprised by her sudden feeling of calm and peace. The night was getting late, and Carrie decided to continue whatever there was left tomorrow.

As Carrie walked back to her room, she thought, "Justin wouldn't have wanted me to be this way. He always wanted the best for others.”

After a long night of thinking, Carrie woke up the next day for another day of school. Yet, this particular morning, she felt different. She had felt a strange, yet resolute feeling of lightness and joy. She strolled down the stairs where she saw her mother standing by herself in the kitchen, staring aimlessly at a frying pan of scrambled eggs. Carrie’s dad was stuck in bed, unmotivated to wake up. For the first time, she noticed how quiet it was. Breakfast used to be their “family time.” A time everyone was on the same schedule and could be together to share stories and make fun of each other. There was laughing, crying, complaining, and last minute homework. Just like the rest of their home life, “family time” was no more. Carrie wanted that back.

All day at school, all Carrie could think of was home. What could she do to make things the way they used to be? Unable to think of anything during school, she decided to walk the long way home through town. She needed a sign. As she strolled through town, she heard a whimpering sound from one of the stores nearby. Curious, Carrie walked toward the sound. It was a pet adoption center. As soon as she got to the door, an adorable Shihtzu puppy came up to her, and started to whelp at her with its high pitched tone. Carrie, being a lover of furry animals, picked up the puppy and hugged it. She instantly felt better. This was her sign.

Carrie arrived home, with her yet-to-be-named Shihtzu stuffed in her backpack and head barely sticking out. As she expected, neither parent was home when she arrived. In fact, there was a note on the table, “Carrie- mom and dad will be late tonight. Order pizza and have a good night,” it read. Well, at least Carrie would have some bonding time with the newest addition to their family.

Carrie could barely sleep. She had a living animal, about the size of a pair of socks, snoring in between her legs. So Carrie lay still, afraid any wrong move would be the end of this puppy’s young and sweet life. Despite only a couple of hours of on and off sleep, when her alarm went off the next morning, Carrie felt more alive than she had ever felt….

Beep! Beep! As soon as Carrie heard her alarm, she sprung out of bed to find her new pet. With her cheery eyes, the Shihtzu barked at her, wagging her tail.

“Shh,” Carrie said, “Mom and Dad aren’t awake yet.”

As Carrie was attempting to calm the puppy down, Carrie’s mom, with a half-asleep look on her face, walked into the room and saw the adorable little puppy wagging her tail at Carrie. The stern look on her face disappeared as Carrie’s mom walked over to the puppy.

“Who’s this?”, she said as she picked up the puppy. “Isn’t she just the cutest little thing.”

“Mom! Surprise! This is... Bella. I got her yesterday from the adoption center! You’re not mad.. Are you?”
“No, of course not!! How could I get mad at this cute fur ball.”

As Carrie was smiling with satisfaction, her dad, awoken by Carrie and her mom, trudged into Carrie’s room.
“What is all this ruckus so early in the morning?”, Carrie’s dad asked when he walked into her room.

When he saw Carrie’s mom holding Bella, he gasped in surprise. A smile started to spread across his face.
“Look what Carrie brought home,” Carrie’s mom said as she gently handed the puppy to him. Bella, way over-excited at all the commotion, kept wiggling around, trying to escape from his arms. Carrie’s mom and dad were both laughing, and at that moment, Carrie noticed that it had been so long since she’d seen the whole family laugh altogether.
“Guys, I’m going to take her out for a little walk. I’ll be back in about twenty minutes!” Carrie’s dad boasted as he jetted out the door.

When Carrie’s dad came back, Carrie saw that her dad’s face was beaming. Her mom was in the kitchen making breakfast for Carrie and her dad. Carrie went up and hugged the little puppy in her dad’s arms, and happily skipped back to the dining room.

It had been so long since the whole family gathered together at the dining table to have such a lighthearted conversation. Breakfast was filled with laughter as they all chatted about who would handle walking Bella, and of course, who would handle cleaning up Bella’s inevitable “mistakes.” Carrie did not want this breakfast to end, but it was time to go to school. She bear-hugged mom, dad, and of course Bella and cheerfully sprinted out the door to catch her school bus.

After only a few weeks, the household seemingly turned back to the family they once were. Although the scar Justin had left in everyone’s hearts still remained, it didn’t hurt as much as it did before. The scar would be ever present in Carrie and her family’s life, but it was healing. A healing scar, Carrie realized, was hope, and that’s the path she knew Justin would be proud of her for taking.