I was disappointed to find out that my best friend in the whole world was actually just a figment of my imagination.

It all started back in August when I was diagnosed with cancer. We had to move from California to Pennsylvania in order to go to the best children’s cancer hospital in the nation. Getting cancer was the second worst thing that happened to me, the worst was moving away from all of my friends and family. They are all I have known for the past seventeen years of my life; I had no idea how I was ever going to replace them. I knew my life was no longer going to be normal. Sadly I was proven right, for when we got to Pennsylvania in September, my cancer spread further in my body.

Since my cancer got worse in September, my doctors insisted that I move into one of the hospital rooms on the oncology floor. At that point in time I was still miserable, my cancer got worse, I had no friends, and was in a strange place that was so far from home, I was lost. Then came a turning point in September, even though my cancer was still spreading throughout my body, my attitude and mood changed, for I had meet Ally.

On September 29, I moved into the hospital cancer wing. As I walked into the room I saw her, a tall girl with very pallor skin. She was also seventeen and had the same type of cancer as me, only she has had it since the age of sixteen. We became friends very fast. It turns out she also had to leave her family and friends behind in California too. She also felt alone and lost, and has been dying to meet someone her age. We were the perfect pair of friends, for we understood each other better than any other person could. Then came October, the month my cancer started to get a little bit worse.

As the doctor came into my room to give me my news, Ally was beside me holding my hand. He said “I’m sorry Kaitie, but your cancer treatments have not been working properly. This means we are going to be starting you on a new treatment, chemotherapy.”

I nodded at the doctor while shielding my emotions, for some reason I was not able to cry in front of him. All I remember about that day is that as soon as he closed the door to leave, I collapsed into Ally’s arms crying, for I just wanted to get better and be a normal teenager again. After I was done crying, Ally picked me up and gave me the best advice of my life, which has stayed with me today.

She said “Kaitie, I know crying feels like the right thing to do, but it’s not. You cannot battle cancer by feeling bad for yourself. You have to be strong and keep faith, for faith is the most powerful cure of all.”

Deciding to take her advice I stayed faithful, hoping and believing that I would get through my battle with cancer. Following Ally’s advice turned out to be the best decision of my life, because then January came.

January 21, when my doctor entered my room, he had the biggest smile on his face. He shouted excitedly, “Kaitie! You have beaten your cancer! The treatments have worked! You are finally cancer free and are free to go home.”

Almost in tears, I started to shout Ally’s name, but could not find her anywhere. Confused I called the doctor back into my room to ask him where she was. This is when I got the biggest shock of my life. He looked at me and said “Kaitie, Who is Ally? You never had a roommate…you have been all alone ever since you moved in here.”

Hearing this made me feel like the earth beneath my feet had given way. My heart was sinking and could not be saved. It felt like I was losing my family and friends all over again. The only word I was able to choke out through my tears was Imposable. How could my best friend in the whole world not be real? I had so many memories of her. I mean you couldn’t just have memories with someone who never existed…could you?

Those were the questions that have followed me until today. I have now been cancer free and without Ally for two years. I have gone to numerous specialists to talk about Ally and what she really was. They all keep trying to tell me that she was just a very detailed dream. However, I disagree; I believe that she was so much more.

When ever I show people pictures of Ally and me, they always ask me where Ally is. They cannot see her, only I can. In everyone else’s eyes, there is a bright light where Ally should be standing. No matter how I looked at the pictures, Ally was always there, I had no idea what the others were seeing. So I decided to look at the picture with a different mindset. I started to think like everyone else, I thought of Ally as a stranger and not as my best friend. Then I finally saw it, the bright light, wrapped all around her body. I could still see her face because she was such a huge part of my life, and not a stranger at all. She was my hope and always steered me in the positive direction. It is finally clear to me that Ally wasn’t a dream and was not my imagination, she was my guardian angel.