Nate and Estella | Teen Ink

Nate and Estella MAG

July 14, 2008
By Matthew_C BRONZE, Great Neck, New York
Matthew_C BRONZE, Great Neck, New York
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is a beauty in the world, though it's harsher than we expect it to be."
Michael Cunningham


Nate was to be married.

She was a blandly pretty girl of 24 named Joan. She had darting brown eyes and short black hair, with a face so mild that it withered from memory after a good night’s sleep. Her voice was prickly and clipped. She never spoke more than she needed to, and having a conversation with her was about as productive as trying to spark a fire in the middle of a snowstorm using two splinters of plastic.

His parents were ecstatic. She was studying to be an anesthesiologist at a prestigious college in the West, and her parents were famous musicians. As far as Nate’s parents were concerned, she held the highest pedigree, especially ­considering Nate was “Mediocre with a capital M.”

Nate wasn’t exactly sure what had driven him to propose. In fact, he didn’t remember much about their relationship, which was odd, for they had been together for two years. They had gone to dinners and plays and the occasional movie, but Nate found the memories decidedly fuzzy, as if someone had swept across the drying ink with a steady hand. Perhaps it was because she was so quiet, so expressionless. She didn’t project the profound, delicate silence that suggested great depth; rather, hers was a dreary ­quiet that one would expect from a contemplative sloth digesting a bulky meal.

He supposed he had proposed because he knew that he had netted a rather formidable catch. Nate wasn’t exactly handsome, nor was he especially intelligent. He was a “straddler” – clever enough to be dissatisfied but not talented enough to jump the fence – while Joan had made it in one clean leap.

Estella was a horse of a different color: an exceedingly independent girl with a fiery temper and a personality so vivid that the best word to describe her would be uncontainable. She had literally crashed into his life; her bicycle had landed Nate in the hospital for a week. She visited him every day, and he was ­utterly fascinated by her fearlessness: she walked with such command, and spoke with such unabashed gusto.

He was also struck by the prominence of her features. She was not a typically pretty girl: her hair was rambunctiously curly, her skin peppered with rusty freckles, and she was in a perpetual slouch. Yet there was something magnetic about that jutting jaw and those questioning dark eyes, something that suggested that within the modest frame existed a great, flaming entity awaiting release. They had remained close during high school, and their friendship grew when they landed at the same college.

It was on a cold February morning, a week before Nate’s wedding, when he and Estella met for their customary picnic in Bannister Woods.

“Take a walk with me.”

“It’s all of two degrees, Stella.”

“You have your coat.”

“It’s a pullover, and a rather measly one at that.”

“Take mine.”

“Absolutely not!”

“If you don’t, I’m just leaving it here.”

“You’re such a bother.”

“And you’re such a little girl. Here, we’ll share it.”

Nate flinched as she entwined her arms around his waist; such a sudden, ­intimate gesture. The two were always playful, but it was a platonic, comfortable sort of warmth. He hadn’t ever had the nerve to go further, but if there was one thing Estella Golightly had in abundance, it was nerve. As such, she would often ignite those tantalizing little sparks and Nate would be completely frazzled, as if a blind mechanic had just re-assembled his innards. He found it even stranger that she seemed oblivious to what she was doing. It was impossible to believe that she didn’t realize that he felt on the verge of liquefaction.

The forest was perfectly silent. The trees were stripped bare, and the ground was covered in a layer of pale white.

“You’d like her,” he said. The words darted out of his mouth like fish in a pond. He could picture her eyebrow rising in mild amusement.

“I suppose. You never say much about her.”

The snowflakes ghosted overhead like wisps of smoke.

“You can come to the wedding?”

“Of course,” she replied in a hollow voice. She sounded terribly bored, and tugged at a stray strand of hair with unusual force. Nate felt a strange sensation like a rash creeping up his ankles. He opened his mouth, when he felt Estella shudder and gasp.

“Look!” She pointed to a small, quivering creature under a maple tree. She threw off the coat in one motion and scooped up the little ball with shaking hands. It was a cardinal. Something had sliced its underside, and its delicate wings were twisted. Its plumage was no longer a bright scarlet like its contemporaries but a deep maroon, making it ­resemble a pulsing internal organ.

It gave a final shudder before falling limp, and the difference was extraordinary. It was so utterly unalive, a crumpled ball of nothingness, and Nate was stunned at how the bird seemed to have become smaller, as the space around it seemed to shrink. Its eyes, drops of perfect black, were dull and listless. Nate was reminded of his TV set, a cheap little thing he had found in the parking lot, and how the crackling image would swirl into the center of the screen when he turned it off. It seemed impossible that this thing, this cold imitation, had once been part of the world, with its bustling people and noisy machines.

Estella sighed. She took off her hat, ­revealing tightly coiled brown hair. With impossible delicacy, she wrapped the animal in it and placed the bundle in a knothole.

They continued to walk. The air was colder and as sharp as a whetted knitting needle but an element of clarity accompanied the frost. Perhaps it was the change of scenery: the fact that the lights of the city and the honking of cars had faded into a hazy echo, coupled with the growing denseness of the trees and the narrowing path. The snow continued to fall lazily. The flakes were as delicate as powdered sugar and white to the point of transparency.

“What a glorious place. It’s strange, ­isn’t it? The idea of something so … so transcendent existing in an infested city, I mean. I doubt you could ever find anything half as beautiful anywhere in the world.”

Nate opened his mouth. He was hoping to say something profound that would sum up the wistful elegance of the forest in one sweeping statement; indeed, the words were simmering in his throat, waiting to be freed. Yet they were hopelessly tangled, woefully unpolished. The usual frustration spread through his limbs. The chances of him achieving anything close to his desired response were negligible, so he settled for a nod.

“When I die, I want to be buried right there, next to that maple. I’d melt away into the soil and always be a part of this hidden sanctuary, away from all that noisy nonsense. And the trees would grow so large and dense that even those filthy whirring saws would be unable to penetrate their bark, and it’ll remain just as it is, even when the rest of the world falls to shambles.”

Nate nodded. They were by the lake now, a sheet of frosty glass.

“She’s a nice, smart girl,” said Nate. He regretted this the moment he heard himself speak. The words sounded clumsy, almost apologetic.

“I’d think so. She couldn’t have gotten into such a great university by sitting on her derrière and eating cheese puffs.”

“She’s also got several noteworthy qualities: she’s honest, always asks what I would prefer and … she’s very nice,” he said.

“Right.”

They had passed the lake now. Somewhere far away they heard bells ringing.

“There it is!” Estella said, pointing a fuzzy finger toward the east. “The witch’s cottage!”

Nate smiled, and gave Estella a little knock on the head. “You’re so full of it.”

“No, really.” She grabbed Nate’s arm and pulled him toward the dilapidated hut. There was a bronze plaque on the door, but the words were impossible to read. The harsh wind had ground the letters down into indecipherable stubs. ­Estella frowned. “Ah, well, you’ll have to take my word for it.”

Nate laughed.

“Why’d you bring me here?” he asked.

Estella nodded toward what looked like an oddly shaped boulder. Upon closer examination, however, Nate saw it was a well. Like the plaque, it had been sanded down. Yet there was something imposing about the heap of stone and mortar. It exuded self-satisfaction: it had weathered the storm and achieved a degree of petulant majesty.

Nate gave Estella a withering look. “Breathtaking. Now can we go?”

“Ho, ho. I suppose I can’t tell you the secret now.”

“Secret?”

“I’m not sure if it’s interesting enough to receive the attention of the fabulous Nate Vaughan.”

“I give you my sincere apologies, madam. Now, what about that secret?”

“Well, I’ve read that whispering into a witch’s well is supposed to grant you a wish.”

Nate snorted.

“Fine. You stay here.” She ran to the well and placed her hands firmly on the stone before tilting her head down. Nate was reminded of an ostrich. A minute later, she popped back up.

“Done. Come on, Nate. We’ll probably never have a chance to do this again.”

Nate was struck by an unexpected pang of sadness. He felt numb, and his vision turned cloudy for a flickering moment. While he could move his limbs with ease, there was something oddly disconnected about them, something foreign, as if he were being controlled by a joystick.

“Come on!” Her voice sounded strangely distant.

Nate staggered toward the well, and Estella gave him a light pat on the back before walking toward the cottage.

He clasped the edge of the well, closed his eyes, and whispered.



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This article has 119 comments.


on Jun. 5 2010 at 8:02 pm
Love_with_no_Heart BRONZE, San Antonio, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 13 comments
haha i competely agree with u. as i was reading it i couldn't help but feel something was wrong, and u just said it lol :)

rayj095 GOLD said...
on May. 14 2010 at 5:31 pm
rayj095 GOLD, Gadsden, Alabama
19 articles 6 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And if we're lucky, we realize, in the face of everything, in the face of life, the true dream is being able
to dream at all." -Grey's Anatomy

It was alright. But where is the story? The characters are cute, and its very descriptive maybe too descriptive, but there isn't any events that lead to a good conclusion. You did a great job on describing the setting and characters, now make a good story out of it.  :)

on May. 14 2010 at 9:55 am
HoplessRomantic BRONZE, Detroit, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace. --George Bernard Shaw

I loooooove it lol awesoome

xxxxx said...
on May. 14 2010 at 8:41 am
xxxxx, Taneytown, Maryland
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
I cannot forgive my friends for dying: I do not find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing.

- Logan Pearsall Smith

I absolutely love the way you developed Nate's character. I love how he keeps referring back to Joan during random places; it's almost as if he's trying to convince himself. I adore this entirely! I almost wish it wouldn't have ended where it did, but the ending leaves room for suspence and speculation. =)

MaeFlower said...
on Apr. 24 2010 at 9:07 pm
MaeFlower, Aurora, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 27 comments
This is wonderful!  I espeically love the way you keep their characters consistent throughout the whole story:)  It's a Amazing!

lilydarling said...
on Apr. 22 2010 at 9:33 pm

Are there really no criticisms yet? I mean, it was good, especially for a teenager, but it definitely has room for improvement. Parts of the dialogue feel forced, mainly because the author uses too many complex/over-descriptive words. The prose also has a few issues as well: for example, the use of "contemporaries" when discussing the cardinal and the "joystick" metaphor near the end are both awkward in my opinion. Also, the author uses language and metaphors/similes that seem to overexaggerate - the emotions and characters almost seemed overdone to me; I couldn't get into it as much as I'd like.

 

All that said, though, it's a very cute idea and written with evident, if imperfect, skill. Keep up the good work!


on Apr. 22 2010 at 7:34 am
TanazMasaba GOLD, Dhaka, Other
16 articles 10 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's Heaven on Earth."













---William W. Purkey

really really cant wait to read more......................:) :) :)

>3 it!!


on Apr. 1 2010 at 12:32 am
M.E.L.Bee BRONZE, Fort St James, Other
1 article 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Loved how clearly i could visualize it!!! You have amazing talent with imagery, and your characters were awesome, so unique and individual! 

two thumbs up!


toflyaway said...
on Mar. 31 2010 at 8:16 pm
toflyaway, Melbourne, Other
0 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You're Bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret, all the best people are" -Alice In Wonderland (2010)

Amazing!! Your writting is so intriguing, From the very first sentence I was glued to my computer screen :)

And like all the others, I want to know what he wishes for too :)


on Mar. 31 2010 at 7:48 pm
MeganAnne PLATINUM, Niskayuna, New York
24 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
All my life I've looked at words as if I were seeing them for the first time. ~Ernest Hemingway

I loved this! It was very good. It was mysterious, yet clear all at the same time. You can almost sense the longing Nate has for Estella, but yet it's not all out there, and that's a good technique.

I think that Estella brought him there so he could make a wish that he could have Estella, and not Joan. I think she knows something...Am I right??

Lol anyways, again I can just keep on pointing out the things I love about this story. The metaphors and similies are amazing, my English teacher would be proud. :)

Keep it up and great job!!


on Mar. 31 2010 at 6:53 pm
spontaneous09 BRONZE, Dallas, Texas
1 article 0 photos 32 comments
I love the imagery. You write just like the authors who have already been published.

Lonleydandy said...
on Mar. 31 2010 at 6:52 pm
I absolutely love the entire thing. It was breathtakingly amazing and there isn't one bad thing I can say about it. I so wish you would post more work!!!! I LOVE it..keep writing :]

on Mar. 31 2010 at 4:45 pm
ChangedForever, WW, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, you must be the one to write it.
-Toni Morrison

nice...from the first line is was clear that you have a really distinctive style of writing. great story, keep it up!

on Mar. 31 2010 at 4:15 pm
writergirl13 GOLD, Cherry Hill, New Jersey
11 articles 8 photos 261 comments

Favorite Quote:
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Ambrose Bierce

wow! i love your similies and metaphors! now i want to know what happens next!!!!!!!!!

on Mar. 31 2010 at 1:07 pm
MerryGoRound BRONZE, Sewickley, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles.

Estella Golightly = Great Expectations + Breakfast at Tiffanys.

Why?


on Mar. 31 2010 at 3:22 am
xAllegria BRONZE, Singapore, Other
1 article 2 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
Ça fait tellement du bien d’aimer les gens qu’on aime, que ça finit par faire mal. Je sais pas comment on survit a ça. Non franchement, je sais pas. LOL (laughing out loud) ®, Lola.

Oh, wow... this is one of the first peices I read on Teen Ink. I got such a nice surprise when I saw it on the homepage again =) Good job, once more!

allaboutyou said...
on Mar. 9 2010 at 1:17 pm
Love this!

on Feb. 15 2010 at 3:43 pm
goddess_of_the_moon_123 SILVER, Beaverdam, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
'To unpath'd waters, undream'd shores' ~ William Shakespeare, A Winter's Tale

This is great--- it made me smile :) I love how you ended it right there and left it up to us to finish the story; that takes guts! Please, PLEASE keep writing. You have a gift!

PS I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at some of my stuff!

on Feb. 15 2010 at 3:07 pm
Bambi3226 SILVER, Grants, New Mexico
9 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever." - Lance Armstrong

I really liked it, but seriously, what happens??????? It's gonna bug me for like, ever...

on Feb. 15 2010 at 2:55 pm
LostAngel DIAMOND, Jersey, New Jersey
65 articles 0 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Just live your life, if people don't like the way you are doing it then they can get out of it" "if you can't stand me at my worst you dont deserve me at my best"

is this all there is!?! come on... I NEED AN ENDING! what did he wish for! I need to know!!!! lovely writting