Paul, earl, and Jeremiah | Teen Ink

Paul, earl, and Jeremiah

November 10, 2010
By Valhalla-is-calling GOLD, Waterboro, Maine
Valhalla-is-calling GOLD, Waterboro, Maine
13 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No parent should have to bury their own child." -Theodin

Earl was a cab driver, usually. He was fine until one day. One day he just cracked. He drove over a bridge,swerving, pretending not to hit anyone. But, of course, he hit everyone. He hit Mrs. Parkinson’s favorite garbage man, but that’s in book two. He also hit the judge. when he did, Earl heard a clanging noise and thought, “Hmm, what a weird sound. Do all judges sound like that?” The next second he was flying in the air down toward the water. The android judge, feeling bad for him, yet mad a the same time, jumped in and saved him. He saved earl just so he could get money to fix the dent Earl’s car left in him. So Earl went to jail for 50 years.

When he finally got out, he was fully unstable. 50 years of jail alone is a long time to spend in jail. He got a truck drivers license, he miraculously passed the course, and went to buy a basketball. When he was at the store, in the basketball section, there were many different colors of ball. Some were pink, blue, red, orange, puce, you get what I mean. So he screamed, “JUST GIVE ME A REGULAR BASKETBALL! GOSH!”
Then he looked around, and everyone was staring at him. So he plucked a pink one from the rack, and walked out the store.

When he got home, he grabbed a Sharpie, and drew a face on the ball. He named him Paul. Paul was Earl’s best friend. They went everywhere together. Paul influenced Earl to do good things, like brush his teeth, instead of murdering someone. Then one day, along came a secret ninja robot tennis ball called Jeremiah. Jeremiah was influential. He loved influencing people to do bad things, especially crack. Not the normal kind, but the shampoo kind.

One day, when Earl left to go to his job at Wal-Mart. Okay, I’ll explain Earl’s job really fast. Earl works at Wal-Mart tasting foods. They put him in a straight jacket and force them to eat all the food that is imported into their store. Anyway, When Earl left home, Jeremiah came up to Paul.
“Hey, Paul.”
“I want you to do something.”
“I want you to give this shampoo to Earl. It’s special. Just give it to him. He’ll love it.”
And it went on like that until Earl got home.

That Christmas, Paul got Earl some crack shampoo. Jeremiah got Earl a straight jacket. That night, Earl took a shower with his new shampoo because he’s too shallow to realize that it’s crack shampoo. Oh yeah, he also eats the shampoo. Just so you know. So he took a big mouthful of shampoo, and went ballistic. He ran downstairs, grabbed a steak knife, and deflated Jeremiah and Paul. then he ran away.

He eventually died because Mrs. Parkinson wanted revenge. earl went to heaven, until god found out that he was a not nice person, then regretted his decision mortally.

The author's comments:
It is weird. Crack Shampoo comes from band. :)

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This article has 2 comments.

on Apr. 5 2011 at 9:00 am
Valhalla-is-calling GOLD, Waterboro, Maine
13 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No parent should have to bury their own child." -Theodin

Thanks! Me and my friends made this story by adding on different parts to it, but I just typed it up! Thanks again!

mymask DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 2 2011 at 9:25 am
mymask DIAMOND, Dayton, Ohio
64 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Illigitimi non carborundum!

Alea Iacta est!

I love the dark sense of humor you have placed into this story. Keep writing becasue you are good at it.