She hesitated at the post box, not knowing if she should really send the letter. She saw a squirrel run across the street and up a tree, acorns stuffed in its mouth. She thought back to climbing trees with him, and how much she used to enjoy it. She looked down and stared at the name and address written in purple ink. The name seemed to grow bigger with each second she stared at it, until it was all she could see, until it burst and she saw him.
She saw his eyes and then she saw his smile. The smile morphed into an open-mouthed laugh, and she was sitting on the green leather couch as they watched stand-up comedy and threw pieces of popcorn at each other. Then, they were in his car with the windows down and the music up. She watched as he banged his hands on the steering wheel and sang along. Her hair flew all around her, but she didn’t care. The smell of the autumn air surrounded her. She closed her eyes and it changed to pumpkin spice and vanilla. When she opened her eyes, she was on her kitchen counter. She saw him pulling chocolate chip cookies out of the oven and heard him humming a soft tune.
Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. She sat in bed with the lights off, staring at her black phone screen, waiting for it to flash his name. Her chest heaved up and down and her face tingled. Her hands moved to her ears as her memory was yanked to the sound of him yelling. His voice rang in her ears. She opened her eyes and saw his face, beet red, with the vein sticking out of his neck. She was back in his car. The windows were rolled up and the radio was turned off. She stared out the window counting down the minutes until she was home, praying he wouldn’t open his mouth. When she was walking in the school hallway and saw him, she’d whip her head to the ground and stare at her feet as they passed each other. She was back home and staring at the empty spot on the green leather couch; she threw a piece of popcorn at it.
Her mind came back to the post box in front of her. Rust was forming at the corners of the blue metal, and she stared at it for a second. Her final thought was the image of him in his favorite blue shirt with his arm around another girl, a week after they ended. She turned quickly and ripped up the letter. Once she found the nearest trash can, she fed the ripped envelope and notebook paper with purple ink to it and walked away.