Gosh Darnit Rowanda | Teen Ink

Gosh Darnit Rowanda

October 13, 2014
By Briseida25 SILVER, Las Vegas, Nevada
Briseida25 SILVER, Las Vegas, Nevada
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Rowanda Needs that doe

“Can I get the student discount added to my meal?” I asked the cashier at Dairy Queen.
“Okay, let me just see your identification.” said the cashier.
I pulled out my ID and showed it to her. She examined it carefully.
“I’m sorry. We can't give you the discount. You're not even a student anymore.” she said cold-heartedly.
My heart sank… I really wanted those chili cheese fries. Who knew that graduating high school would lead to so many problems. No more student discounts? How would I ever get by? Just as I was thinking how dirt poor I was, Brittany strolled by in her pink, 6 inch Louis Vuitton heels. She had a Prada bag hanging off of one shoulder and she looked like gold and diamonds. Actually, she was wearing gold and diamonds all around her neck and wrists. Why couldn't I have been born into a filthy rich family? Instead I grew up with my mom in  the hood of the city, Chicago to be exact. Don’t get me wrong, my mom is great, but I don't see the ethic in kicking your daughter out of the house the very same day she graduates. Brittany came from a set of  high class parents who ate caviar and creme brulee every day and spoiled her with anything she could ever want. 
Brittany never knew the struggle, and she never will because she is set for life.  The weirdest part about all of this is that Brittany and I are actually best friends.
“OMG ROWANDA!! I never thought I’d run into you at this place!” yelled Brittany.
What was that even supposed to mean? I’m pretty sure that was some sort of subliminal message like, “You're too poor to come to the mall!”
I know Brittany means no harm, but sometimes her word vomit gets to me and that’s when I’m about ready to jump her.  Maybe I’m just bitter because she has it all and it doesn't seem as if she's grateful for it. I’m over here eating ramen every night, while she stays at her luxurious, ridiculously huge mansion and gets her feet rubbed while eating chocolate covered strawberries.  I envied her for that. I wanted her life and everything that came along with it.
I graduated earlier today. Now all I could think about is how I would pay for college. I don't want to get student loans. My teachers are still paying off their student loans. Why couldn't things be how they used to be? It was so easy back then, my mom was the one who took care of anything I needed...Now I'm on my own.
Brittany opened her bag and took out her Gucci wallet. I peeked over and saw that she had about three thousand dollars in hundreds in there. She ordered the most expensive item on the menu. As the cashier opened the register, I saw that there were hundreds of dollars in there.  Suddenly a light bulb flickered in my head. I was going to ransack the mall. If every register is filled with that much cash, I’d be sleeping on a bed of money in no time. But what if I got caught?! Getting arrested is something I told myself I would never do. Maybe prison would be exactly like an episode of “Orange is the New Black.” If so, I would never be able to handle having a prison gaurd like Pornstashe, the biggest jerk in “Orange is the New Black.”  What is the maximum prison time for robbing a mall? I didn’t want to find out, but gosh I needed the money. Sometimes I wondered if Brittany was oblivious to the fact that I was much less fortunate than her.
“Arent you going to get anything?” Brittany asked me.
“Uh, well, you see I don't have enough money… I was planning to use my student discount but I forgot that I'm not a student anymore.” I said, ashamed.
“What is a student discount? What’s a discount??” Brittany asked.
Are you kidding me?… she doesn't even know what a discount is… god I hate rich people sometimes.
“It’s something people use to lessen the price of something, Brittany.” I said, annoyed.
“Oh I see… We need to have a girls night, how about tonight?” Brittany asked excitedly.
“Awe Brittany. I would, but I'm actually busy tonight, sorry.” I told her.
“Well what are you doing?” Brittany asked me, she wanted to see if I was lying.
“Today is my payday. I have to go pick up my check,” I quickly replied.
“Oh, wow, I didn't even know you had a job, good for you Rowanda!” she said.
I didn't have a job, but I would be getting a lot of cash tonight. I decided I would do it. I would rob the mall and be set for life. Brittany left after we chatted for a couple minutes, reminiscing on old times. It was 8:30 and the mall was getting ready to close up. I waited in the food court while all the customers began to exit the mall. I quickly ran over to the bathroom after the janitor was finished cleaning it. Or at least he thought he was finished cleaning it because the stall I entered smelled so putrid I thought my nose hairs would burn off. I sat on the toilet and waited. I made sure to keep my feet out of view from that big gap that separates the stall door to the floor just incase anyone came in to check the stalls. No one came. I waited for about 1 hour and a half. At 10 o’clock everyone was out… Except for the mall cop, Garbonzo. He would stay almost all night, until his shift was over, then another mall cop would take the next shift. I knew I would be able to get around him. He was heavyset, and extremely unaware of his surroundings. He always had this look on his face like we was trying to figure out why the sky is blue. He just looked confused. One time he let a kid take a pair of headphones from this electronic store in the mall in exchange for a jelly donut and a Snickers bar, so he wasn’t exactly the most law abiding, golden star citizen out there.
I got off of the toilet and made my way to the bathroom door. I opened it slowly and peeked my head out to see if Garbonzo was around. He wasn't. I quickly ran out of the bathroom, down the escalator, to the Bed and Bath section of the malls’ department store. I started looking for a pillowcase to put all the doe in. I found a black one and quickly, but cautiously made my way to the Hardware and Tools section of the mall. There I found a hammer and a crowbar, which I would need to open up the registers. Before touching any of the tools, I had to find gloves, so I had to go back upstairs to the Accessories section of the store. It would be risky, but I had made this far and I was not going to give up. I ran as fast I could and made it to the escalators, I went up then took a left to the Accessories section. I found the gloves and made my way down, Garbonzo was nowhere to be seen, I figured he’d probably be at the electronics store across the mall where all the cool toys are.
I put the gloves on, grabbed my tools and my pillow sack and found the nearest register. “BANG!” I striked the register as hard as I could and it popped right open. As it opened, I remembered that scene in “Pulp Fiction” where John Travolta opens up the suitcase and a golden light radiates from the open suitcase. I felt like I was staring at the golden light. Hundreds of dollars all neatly stacked in the register just waiting for me to put them in my pillowcase. It all felt so real at this moment. I shoved all the money down the sack and made my way to the next register I could find. I came across another one in the Bed and Bath section where I had gotten the pillowcase.  Again I hit the register as hard as I can, it opened, I heard angels singing in the background. Wait… I actually heard singing in the background. It was a hushed singing of one of Sublimes’ songs, “What I got.” My heart started racing as fast as all the thoughts going through my head. How would I ever get through prison time?! How would my mom feel?! Do they even serve real meat in prison?! I froze. The footsteps came closer and the singing had stopped. I could see the big shadow from behind the register. I put my head in between my knees and tried to shrink down as much as possible. I felt a harsh tap on my shoulder. My life was over. I turned around and all I could see is a black figure. I slim figure that did not resemble Garbonzo at all.  This figure was tall and thin and oddly smelled of Chanel N5, a ridiculously expensive perfume. I looked down at the persons feet, pink 6 inch Louis Vuitton heels. Could it really be Brittany? What would she be doing here at this time of night?
“Getting your check tonight huh?” she said. Yeah, it was Brittany. I recognized that squeaky voice anywhere, she was my best friend afterall.
“What in the world are you doing here, Brittany!? You’re going to get me caught!” I scolded her. She grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the dressing room. Goodness, she was stronger than I thought. She shoved me inside a dressing room and took off her mask.
“Okay, Brittany, I don't want you to get offended because I know you're already super crazy rich and you would never have to do this, but were you robbing the mall too?” I asked nervously.
“How do you think I have all this money?” she answered. I was so lost and scared, I could feel the vomit creep up my throat.
“Um, your parents are millionaires?” I stated.
“And how do you think they get all their money?” Brittany asked.
Oh my god. She didn't come from a set of highclass parents. She came from a set of extremely skilled thieves!
I couldn't take it anymore. I needed air. I ran out of the dressing room, towards the malls’ exit. Brittany came running after me. In the dim lighting of the department store we were in, I could see Garbonzo. And he could see me. My legs felt weak, but I kept running. Brittany was right behind me, unaware that Garbanzo was standing right there.
“ HEY! STOP RUNNING!’ Garbonzo yelled. He ran over in time to catch one of us. I made it out the door, and he was only able to capture Brittany. As I was running, I looked back and I could see Brittany start crying before the door closed. I felt horrible. Was it my fault that Brittany got caught?  She would spend so many years in prison while I was out free to enjoy my life and the few thousand dollars I managed to snag. As I got into my car, I realized that there are two kinds of people in the world, those who do bad things, and those who get caught.

The author's comments:

I hope the reader gets a good laugh from this story.

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