Beep… Beep… Beep…

'Where am I? What happened?'

"Doctor! She's waking up!" I hear a female voice yell. 

Then I hear a set of footsteps approaching. I open my eyes, and I immediately see a white ceiling. I look to my left, and I see a young African American man in a white lab coat with black dreads with golden blond tips. He smiles a pearly white smile, "Well, now look who's awake. I am Doctor Jahmal Montier"

"What happened?" I say in a hoarse voice.

"You don't remember the car accident?"

Everything comes back to me like a train. Our argument, the semi-truck colliding with our car, the sound of crushing metal, the screams. The cries. The sirens- I jump up-.

"My sis- MNH-" I groan in pain.

"Wow, now take it easy," the doctor says as he steadies me.

"M-my sisters, what happened to my sisters."

"First, you have a broken leg and a few bruised ribs. You're actually fortunate. The younger one, she has a broken arm, a sprained ankle, and a few cuts and bruises." Then he looks at me seriously.

"What about my big sister," I whisper.

"She- she has taken the worst part of it. She has multiple fractures, and broken bones received deep gashes from the metal. She also has a punctured lung and internal bleeding.”

We are still trying to identify where it is coming from, and she has received a hard blow to her head… I am sorry, right now she is in a coma. We- were doing everything we can, but by the looks of it, your sister only has a week to live. She hasn’t been responding to anything, her body is dying, and it’s like her soul has given up. We’ll do everything we can but, the possibility of her surviving this is lower than 5%.” he says with a pang of great sadness.

‘ No… she- Syriah can’t die.’ Tears fall out of my eyes… they fall like the rain. I grip the blanket in an attempt to stop my hands from shaking.

‘ It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I’m the worst. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-’ I feel a hand touch my own. I look up.

“ Aniya?”

“ Stop,” she says. “ Stop beating yourself up about what happened. It’s not your fault. She- Syriah wouldn’t want you to-to beat yourself up about it-”

“IT’S MY FAULT- If I never tried to rush her, if I never agued with you and she never tried to stop us- she would have seen it. She would still be- she’s gonna die Aniya, and it’ll be all my fault.” I chuckle in defeat. “ And you know what else. The last thing… the last thing I ever said to her was I hate you. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean to say it. It wasn’t true. It was an accident. I-I’m so sorry.” I cry and cry. I feel Aniya wrap her arms around me, and I cry into her chest, repeating, ‘ I’m sorry’ over and over until I cry myself to sleep.

That night I have dreamed of my parents' death for the first time in years.

5 years ago, my parents were both in a car accident on Christmas, and they didn't make it. My father was driving, and according to eyewitnesses, a little boy ran out in the street trying to get the ball that had been rolling away. My dad swerved to avoid the boy, and my dad lost control of the car. They ended up hitting another vehicle, and they hit the side of a house. My sisters and I waited. At the time, Syriah was 12. I was 9, and Aniya was 7. We waited for what seemed like hours, and then we heard a knock at the door. Thinking it was our parents, we rushed to the door. Instead, we were greeted by two police officers.

"Hi, is this the home of Jerion and Ramiyah Reed?"

"Yes," Syriah answered. "I am their eldest daughter. Did something happen?"

The officers look at each other, and they begin to whisper to each other. The female officer nods and looks at Aniya and me.

"Would you two like to sit with me for a minute? Officer Orlando would like to speak with your big sister for a minute, is that okay?"

Aniya gets excited, "Oooh ooh ooh can we see your police car!? Can I get a sticker too, Miss- uhm- Amira, I am Officer Amira, what is your name?"

"I am Aniya, and that's my big sister Za'Nya, and over there is my big big sister Syriah."

"Well, Aniya, would you and Za'Nya like to look at the police car?"

"Yes, please," Aniya says eagerly.

"I am staying with Syriah, I say stubbornly."

"It's okay, Za'Nya go; I'll be there in a minute."

"But-"

"Please," She whispers in tears. Hesitantly I nod.

We make our way to the police car, and Officer Amira shows us many things and even gives us stickers- but the moment of fun was cut short when I hear Syriah scream. We immediately look over to where she is, and we see her fall to her knees, clutching her chest.

"Syriah!" we yell. We immediately run over to her. She looks at us and quickly tries to hide her tears. She hugs us close and looks to Officer Orlando, "Thank you," she says, and she ushers us inside and closes the door.

"She's very mature for her age," I hear Officer Orlando say.

"Za'Nya, come here, please," Syriah says. 

I look over, and I see Syriah and Aniya sitting on the couch together. I make my way over to them, and Syriah once again hugs us.

"I am so sorry," she whispers.

"Syriah, where's mommy and daddy?" Aniya asks.

"They are in heaven, Aniya, watching over us right now." Syriah looks at me, using her big sister radar, knowing precisely what's going on in my head. Tears form in my eyes from Understanding the harsh truth. She pulls Aniya close and mouths the words' later.'

"Ooh, well, when will mommy and daddy come home. I want to give them their present," she jumps out of Syriah's arms, and she makes her way to the table and picks up a piece of paper that she was coloring on earlier.

"Looky, it's our family." She says with a big smile, not knowing the painful truth behind her words. "We'll always be together; mommy and daddy will like it. I made it really pretty, see look Syriah, that's mommy, daddy, Za'Nya, you and me." She smiles real big at Syriah.

"Aniya, sweety mommy and daddy… they aren't coming home. God has told them it's time for them to go with him," she says softly.

"Mommy and daddy aren't coming home?" she whispers with tears forming in her eyes.

“ I’m sorry, love.” She runs into Syriah’s chest, and she cries. I start to cry too, and Syriah picks Aniya up, and she grabs my hand taking us to her room. She lays down with Aniya leaning on her chest, still crying, and she pulls me down beside her. Hugging us both close, she begins to sing our mother’s lullaby to us as we drift off to sleep.

I wake up with tears in my eyes and with my Aniya sleeping next to me. I wipe my eyes, and I begin to hear Aniya whimpering; I shake her.

"Aniya. Aniya, wake up." she starts breathing rapidly.

"Aniya. ANIYA!" She's not waking up. I push the red button beside my bed, calling for the nurse. She immediately comes in.

"Please, Aniya, she- I don't know what to do," I cry as I clutch her close.

"She's having a panic attack in her sleep!" She looks to the second nurse,

"Get the doctor."

"I tried waking her, then she started breathing fast, and she wouldn't wake up no matter how loud I screamed." I start to explain.

"It's okay, hun, your sister will be fine."

Doctor Jahmal comes in, and he has a needle that has a clear liquid in it.

"What's that?" I ask, panicked, clutching Aniya closer.

"It will calm her. I promise it won't harm her, but you have to trust me, or else her life will be in danger." I hesitantly nod. He sticks the needle in her forearm and injects the liquid into her body. I immediately notice her heart rate returning to its normal state. Her eyes flutter open, and I begin to cry.

"Za'Nya? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?" she says, panicked as she sits up and examines me. I hug her,

"You nearly scared me half to death, and you're worried about me. That's so like you."

"What do you mean?" she asks with a hint of confusion.

“ You had a panic attack in your sleep, and you wouldn’t wake up.” Something clicks. She looks down, “ I had a dream about mom and dad. Then my dream changed, we- we lost her. Syriah didn’t make it and you died, and I was all alone- I’m scared Za’Nya, I don’t wanna be alone.” she whispers in heartache. She hugs me. “ Please don’t leave me alone. Please,” She cries into my chest. I hug her close to me and rest my head on top of her head, “ I won’t. I promise.”

Many days have passed. Out of guilt, I couldn’t bring myself to visit Syriah. I was so afraid. Aniya frequently saw her, always checking on her. She even tried to drag me with her. Many times she almost succeeded, but something still pulled me back.

Finally, the seventh day had arrived. It was Christmas Eve. The atmosphere was dark and depressed in my room. Aniya couldn’t stop crying; Syriah’s condition only got worse. She wasn’t healing fast enough and was still unresponsive. We were told by a nurse that she wouldn’t make it to tomorrow. I held Aniya close as we cried. We cried for hours as we prayed, and prayed.

Aniya went to visit her once more. Leaving me here all alone, with no one but my thoughts.‘ Is this it? Is she really gonna… die? I’m a coward. I couldn’t even face her; I couldn’t bare to see what I have caused.’ Suddenly a light appears in my room, and two figures made of light appear.“ Mom!? Dad!?”

“ Za’Nya, look at you; you have grown into such a fine young woman.” My father states.

“ Why- how are you here?” I ask in disbelief.

“ God has granted us a final wish,” my father says.

“ Za’Nya,” my mother grabs my hand. “ Your sister loves you and Aniya so much. Ever since you guys were little, she always looked out for you guys; she’d give up everything just to make sure you two were happy. She still does it now. She always loved you both equally; no matter what you to did or said to her, she would always be there for you too because she couldn’t bare to lose you guys. You guys are her everything; she doesn’t hate you. She isn’t angry with you, Za’Nya. Your father and I have watched you guys grow. We are so proud of you guys,” She gently touches my face. “We love you, Za’Nya. You and you sisters. Be there for each other, love one another because you guys are all you have left,” my mother says as she hugs me.

“ Our time is up, dear,” my father says.

“ Go to her Za’Nya, go to your sisters.”

My parents' spirits fade, returning back to heaven. I look at the time 11:55pm. I wipe my tears, and I grab my crutches, and I make my way to Syriah. "Hold on Syriah, I'm coming."

I make my way to Syriah’s room. I hesitate at the door, nervousness filling my body, I shake it off, and I enter Syriah’s room. I spot Aniya next to her bed, holding her hand and crying. 

“... I remember that night like it was yesterday. You always protected us Syriah, you- you can’t leave us Syriah. We need you. Please fight Syriah, please,” she whispers.

Aniya looks at me. “ You- You came.”

I nod, and I finally look at Syriah. She lays on her back, hooked to so many machines. Her head, neck, face, and arms are bandaged. I hear the heart monitor beep.It beeps at a dangerously slow tempo, ‘she’s dying.’ I look at Aniya.

“ Can-can I sit and talk to her?” She nods, and she leaves the room.

I sit in the now vacant chair, and I grab her hand. It’s colder than usual. I take a deep breath, and I let it all out.

“ Hey, Syriah. I’m sorry it took so long for me to visit. I’m sorry. It’s my fault that you’re like this. If I never would have rushed you and got into an argument with Aniya, none of this would have happened. Being the middle child… it’s hard; I-I always feel like I’m overlooked and that no one pays attention to me. But I don’t want the attention… it’s not important to me anymore. This is my fault, and I’m sorry.”

Beep………………………………………………....

The heart monitor stops beating, I look at the clock. 12 am, Christmas morning Syriah Reed died.

I cry, and I cry. I hear Aniya come in, and she cries as well. For the second time in my life, I feel empty and lost; the pain is unbearable. My world has lost another light, and it is slowly becoming dark. ‘It’s my fault. I will never forgive myself for what has happened. I am sorry. Why did it have to be her! Why couldn’t it have been me! WHY GOD WHY! I am sorry, Aniya, I am sorry, mom and dad, I’m sorry… Syriah.’

"Syriah, I'm so sorry. I don't hate you. I never hated you. I looked up to you. I wanted to be like you. Strong, smart, caring, and kind, But I could never be like you. I am so sorry, please forgive me." I cry out

"We love you, big sis," Aniya and I cry together.

Then we feel something grab our hand. "I love you, little sisters, I always have, and I always will," Syriah says in a hoarse voice. 

"Syriah-" I say in disbelief. Aniya jumps on Syria in tears.

"Syriah! Your alive, thank God your alive!" She whimpers. Aniya pulls back immediately.

"OH MY GOSH, I AM SO SORRY!" Syriah pulls her into a hug. 

"It's okay." She looks at me and stretches her arm out, "Come here." I run to her, and I hold on to her like she will disappear.

"I heard you both calling me; it was your voices that brought me back. I love you guys with all my heart. You guys are my soul, my lifelines, my other halves. Without you guys, there is no me. Thank you."

"We love you too, Syriah, now and forever." 

10 years ago, we had a Christmas miracle, one that changed our lives forever. That day has taught me the most important lesson I have ever learned, Time is limited; you never know when your last day will be. Treasure those in your life. Always tell them you love them because tomorrow is never promised.

The End