Chaos Theory | Teen Ink

Chaos Theory MAG

November 14, 2008
By Anonymous

Carolyn says she believes in angels
while mascara spiders creep thickly along the
heavy baggage beneath her eyes like the
black pitch of the school hallways at night or
the charcoal that she dips her fingernails in and I
remember cheating on my math test that morning
So
I tell her I believe in people.

Roasted honey nut, the color she was born with but
you really wouldn’t know it because of the midnight L’Oréal
she chooses, tragically highlighted with Punk Pink or
Raging Red from a bottle and 15
minutes of waiting –
It spills limply over her black eyes whenever she leans down to write and
Carolyn says she believes in fate.

In planets aligning in the universe and
Feng shui that keeps mice away and prevents ulcers but also
makes a girl fall in love with a boy but
I know all about chemistry and hormones and catalysts so I
think I believe in science.

In reincarnation, she thinks she’ll come back as a bird
Or maybe a peacock and I say I agree when I
see those striped stockings that come to her knees and
neon earrings lifeless at her shoulders but she only laughs …
tells me I never really see her and to
call her later.

Now with the dial tone in my ear
the cold trembling and I’m suffocating on nothing
because I really see her and I
know she believes in the afterlife but
she doesn’t believe in laughter and
the phone just rings and rings and rings …

Carolyn said she believed in angels.



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This article has 376 comments.


on Jan. 8 2010 at 8:29 pm
acousticalex BRONZE, Garland, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist. That is all." Oscar Wilde

I think the repetitive last line takes away from the whole of the poem but other than that it's relatively great! I will be adding this as my first favorite.

on Jan. 2 2010 at 4:04 pm
mellow_melon PLATINUM, Jefferson, Maryland
41 articles 14 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but my the number of moments that take our breath away."

i know its the third time ive commented on this poem but i keep rereading it and i think of more things to say. my favorite part is "because i really see her and i know she believes in the afterlife but she doesnt believe in laughter" soooo good

krzykrys GOLD said...
on Dec. 23 2009 at 6:44 pm
krzykrys GOLD, Baldwinsville, New York
15 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
i have many favorite quotes

yea its great and if you went through that and wrote aout it im sure you would make a few gammar mistakes too.

on Dec. 23 2009 at 3:40 pm
rainyday93 GOLD, Bedford, New York
11 articles 0 photos 8 comments
I love this.

keep writing

cass said...
on Dec. 23 2009 at 8:01 am
wow this was really cool and i loved how you made the characters so complex that was great

on Dec. 23 2009 at 12:57 am
ShakingChandeliers SILVER, N.Highlands, California
9 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A thin layer of trust had formed in my mind, like a scab."

"I preferred albums to the more modern eight tracks. Albums came with sleeves which reminded me of clean underwear."
-Augusten Burroughs

You decribe things in such a great and beautiful way....like elegantly...it's magical. Hats off to you, Debbie.

on Dec. 18 2009 at 12:13 am
FadetoFluorescent SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments
I read this piece in the magazine last year, in the issue my teacher gave me.

Right now, that copy is clipped and framed above my bed, and I read it when I remember the girl down the street, who once was Carolyn.

Thank you so much for this; on a personal level, and as a fellow author and reader in the writing community.

Absolutely beautiful.

I've read it dozens of times, and I'm speechless each time I finish.

Nechama SILVER said...
on Dec. 8 2009 at 7:48 pm
Nechama SILVER, Longmont, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We are born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through out love and friendship can we create the illusion that for the moment we're not alone." Orson Welles

WOW! Amazing. I remember writing dark things like this but in a way it isn't dark. Dark...it's not. It's amazing what people acheive by writing, what it makes them feel. I hope it wasn't too hard to write, emotionally I mean. Keep writing. In the end it will help with anything, I know. Espeacially when it comes down to how you feel. Again, keep writing.

on Dec. 1 2009 at 11:38 pm
Writedancelove&live GOLD, Redding, California
12 articles 2 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
"Karen: If you're from Africa why are you white? Gretchen: Omg Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."

Wow. This was just so real. It really hit me. Please never ever stop writing.

on Dec. 1 2009 at 10:29 pm
LouieLou BRONZE, Lakewood, Colorado
4 articles 0 photos 8 comments
I'm so sorry for your loss. This piece is a true, tragic work of art. I'm sure Carolyn would be proud of you.

on Dec. 1 2009 at 7:09 pm
SummerMornings GOLD, Dunwoody, Georgia
11 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is beautiful, but it's complicated... we don't need to understand. There are miracles, miracles..."

Wow-- this was the first poem I have ever read that really touched me-- thank you so much for sharing that, and I think the lack of punctuation added to the piece. it was incredible.

mellow_melon said...
on Nov. 25 2009 at 2:43 pm
ive probably read this at least 10 times. i cant stop reading it. its SO good! it gives me goosebumps evertime.

on Nov. 22 2009 at 10:51 pm
starsonmysleeves SILVER, San Anselmo, California
7 articles 0 photos 20 comments
and good for you for paying attention in english class. haha

k0k said...
on Nov. 21 2009 at 7:00 pm
wow. this was amazing.

on Nov. 14 2009 at 9:30 pm
alli.babi. SILVER, Pendleton, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
in order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.--Coco Chanel.

very touching. im speechless, otherwise. great poem!

SamSam SILVER said...
on Nov. 9 2009 at 9:38 pm
SamSam SILVER, Carrollton, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Take risks. if you win, you will be happy. if you lose, you will be wise.

Dont tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon.

Live for the moments you can't put into words.

amazing, touching, beautiful... there are some things that are too beautiful to be put into words. this would be one of them.

on Nov. 9 2009 at 9:26 pm
whisperingofdawn GOLD, Colorado City, Arizona
17 articles 12 photos 87 comments
..speechless..

touching ending

on Nov. 9 2009 at 7:00 pm
YouCanCallMeAlex SILVER, Cavecreek, Arizona
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Thats amazing,, i have a friend like that

on Nov. 9 2009 at 6:06 pm
RitaChristine BRONZE, Metcalfe, Other
2 articles 0 photos 31 comments
Wow! I had to go back and read this a second time. There's a lot of meaning in there. Good for you for tackling a touchy subject like that; that's what poetry should be about. Excellent use of enjambment, simile, rhythm, personification, alliteration... so much packed in there. Way to go!

on Nov. 9 2009 at 5:51 pm
CaseyLeigh PLATINUM, Moraga, California
31 articles 6 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to.

My only thought upon finishing this piece was "wow".