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Chaos Theory This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This work has won the Teen Ink contest in its category.

Carolyn says she believes in angels
while mascara spiders creep thickly along the
heavy baggage beneath her eyes like the
black pitch of the school hallways at night or
the charcoal that she dips her fingernails in and I
remember cheating on my math test that morning
I tell her I believe in people.

Roasted honey nut, the color she was born with but
you really wouldn’t know it because of the midnight L’Oréal
she chooses, tragically highlighted with Punk Pink or
Raging Red from a bottle and 15
minutes of waiting –
It spills limply over her black eyes whenever she leans down to write and
Carolyn says she believes in fate.

In planets aligning in the universe and
Feng shui that keeps mice away and prevents ulcers but also
makes a girl fall in love with a boy but
I know all about chemistry and hormones and catalysts so I
think I believe in science.

In reincarnation, she thinks she’ll come back as a bird
Or maybe a peacock and I say I agree when I
see those striped stockings that come to her knees and
neon earrings lifeless at her shoulders but she only laughs …
tells me I never really see her and to
call her later.

Now with the dial tone in my ear
the cold trembling and I’m suffocating on nothing
because I really see her and I
know she believes in the afterlife but
she doesn’t believe in laughter and
the phone just rings and rings and rings …

Carolyn said she believed in angels.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

This work has won the Teen Ink contest in its category. This piece won the January 2009 Teen Ink Poetry Contest.

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This article has 374 comments. Post your own now!

HollerGirl26 said...
Jan. 23, 2011 at 2:23 pm
OMG! I was NOT expecting that ending! I love made me think about everything that Carolyn was for. Great job <3 just one question? Was Carolyn emo/suicidal? With all that polish and dye..not to be ignorant! Just's on my mind haha. Well keep it up <3 thanks!
purple said...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 1:21 pm
your poem is really good and desriptive, i really like it. And i can just picture  her in my mind
Xadon said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 11:33 pm
I liked it. I just kept thinking over it.
PictureUnperfect said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 10:13 pm
Amazing. (: i had to read it twice before i really got it, which i love! (:
Whisperheart said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Wow that was just amazing. The imagery was great, and I really loved it. Great piece.
Gigantron said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm
I'll completely honest: I clicked on this piece thinking that it would have content pertinent to actual chaos theory. You know, the field of study in applied mathematics. 
9CatsPerLife101 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 23, 2011 at 9:46 am
lol so did I...but personally I'm a lot happier that it didn't really have to do with math.
Rachael B. replied...
May 28, 2011 at 12:03 pm
hahaha so did i... but i agree 9cats, im happy it didnt now that i read it.
Kiyoko This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 27, 2010 at 11:41 pm
This is beautiful. Truly. I am a big poetry writer and reader myself, and I know quite a bit about it. I really like this. there are extra words that you could cut out, to make it punchier, but the way it flows is nice as well. Just something to keep in mind as you write!
OriginalCarbonation said...
Dec. 25, 2010 at 7:12 pm

this is so amazing. so so so perfect. the way you crafted the layers, and portrayed the characters. the way it built and fell away like some sort of trick bridge you half expected wouldnt make it. the way that you never said it directly, but yet, you did. this is so beautiful that i cried. i really hope you continue to write things like this. with people still thinking like this, writing like this, we may still have some hope for the world. and if this is true for you, then im sorry my friend... (more »)

JaimeNichole said...
Dec. 17, 2010 at 8:49 pm
Honestly, this is one of my absolute favorite poems. I can so easily picture both of Carolyn and the speaker. I know who they are. I can relate to Carolyn so well. Almost any reader will feel like one of them. Your words sound beautiful. The raw emotion in this shook me. Please keep writing like this. Check out some of my stuff if you have time please.
writergirl13 said...
Dec. 10, 2010 at 9:52 pm
oh my. i'm quite speechless. so i take it that carolyn died at the end?
writingrox2 said...
Dec. 10, 2010 at 7:21 pm
wow this is really good
ForeverDawn said...
Dec. 10, 2010 at 6:57 pm
bobbybosche said...
Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:46 pm
im touched
SpringRayynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 10, 2010 at 10:47 pm
I can only agree.
sophiem said...
Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:41 pm
great poem, beautifully written
smdkek replied...
Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:47 pm
sophie you're so kind
thatjosephguy replied...
Jan. 23, 2011 at 7:41 pm

I just say here, looking through all of these replies, not really knowing what to say...

It's poetry, that makes me think.

Nobody has made me think like this in a long time

5 stars

kmarie14 said...
Dec. 10, 2010 at 9:02 am
wow. absolutley. amazing. beautiful. thanks for sharing
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