Chaos Theory | Teen Ink

Chaos Theory MAG

November 14, 2008
By Debbie G., Arlington Heights, IL, Arlington Heights, IL

Carolyn says she believes in angels
while mascara spiders creep thickly along the
heavy baggage beneath her eyes like the
black pitch of the school hallways at night or
the charcoal that she dips her fingernails in and I
remember cheating on my math test that morning
I tell her I believe in people.

Roasted honey nut, the color she was born with but
you really wouldn’t know it because of the midnight L’Oréal
she chooses, tragically highlighted with Punk Pink or
Raging Red from a bottle and 15
minutes of waiting –
It spills limply over her black eyes whenever she leans down to write and
Carolyn says she believes in fate.

In planets aligning in the universe and
Feng shui that keeps mice away and prevents ulcers but also
makes a girl fall in love with a boy but
I know all about chemistry and hormones and catalysts so I
think I believe in science.

In reincarnation, she thinks she’ll come back as a bird
Or maybe a peacock and I say I agree when I
see those striped stockings that come to her knees and
neon earrings lifeless at her shoulders but she only laughs …
tells me I never really see her and to
call her later.

Now with the dial tone in my ear
the cold trembling and I’m suffocating on nothing
because I really see her and I
know she believes in the afterlife but
she doesn’t believe in laughter and
the phone just rings and rings and rings …

Carolyn said she believed in angels.

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This article has 376 comments.

Cripsee said...
on Mar. 11 2011 at 12:10 pm
This is absolutely fantastic, and completely heartbreaking. You are an amazing poet.

on Mar. 9 2011 at 8:37 pm
Anabelle BRONZE, Orion, Illinois
4 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.\"
Friedrich Nietzsche

this is beautiful. 

on Mar. 9 2011 at 5:16 pm
FeelTheRomance18, Tucson, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted blind. -Lysander, A Midsummer Night's Dream

oh my god... did she... KILL HERSELF?????

on Mar. 9 2011 at 3:12 pm
kathrynnn SILVER, Durham, North Carolina
5 articles 1 photo 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss

I love this. The end really touched me. It reminded me of a book I recently read called The Anatomy of Wings by Karen Foxlee. 

on Mar. 9 2011 at 6:15 am
HorseLover SILVER, Dallas, Texas
7 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A boat is safe in the harbor. But this is not the purpose of a boat."~Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist

I've never read anything like this. Amazing!!

on Mar. 8 2011 at 4:01 pm
StrangerOnTheStreet BRONZE, Ijamsville, Maryland
2 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
life is whats happening when your not looking.

this is amazing, how real and raw it is.. i can really apprecitate it. it takes alot to be open about something like this and i really look up to you for it and olny hope i can be this open in my writing

. said...
on Mar. 8 2011 at 2:51 pm
this is pure and heavy and so simple. in just one word its raw. im so sorry for your loss. you can tell she ment alot to you and you were close to her. keep writting!

on Mar. 5 2011 at 11:32 pm
unique4evr SILVER, Wellington, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments

this is really good (i think) i am not really sure. iI don't quite understand it but iI really want to

please explain it to me! =( anyways iI can tell you are a deep person you will go far in life. keep it up! =)

jasmin said...
on Mar. 5 2011 at 9:08 am

thanks for commneting

i really loved yours

on Feb. 23 2011 at 5:25 pm
nightwolfsnow GOLD, Suffolk, Virginia
16 articles 0 photos 8 comments
Oh wow....I felt like I died at the end. This was amazing. :)

on Feb. 21 2011 at 1:15 am
Only,I PLATINUM, Taylorville, Illinois
45 articles 17 photos 123 comments

Favorite Quote:
This too shall pass.

Amazing, simply, purely amazing.


on Feb. 15 2011 at 6:23 pm
The.King SILVER, Golden, Colorado
9 articles 1 photo 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A story's beginning is a sudden event. The start, a happy accident; the end, the fate for which it's meant. A story that never ends is a sad fate."-Miss Edel

Do you really have to understand the entirety of a story to enjoy it?  In that case, I shouldnt like American Pie by Don McLean... people still debate what it means.  This poem was great, whether or not I got its deepest meanings

cellogirl GOLD said...
on Feb. 14 2011 at 11:01 pm
cellogirl GOLD, San Diego, California
10 articles 0 photos 4 comments
wow, absolutely beautiful!

bobhot6 said...
on Feb. 14 2011 at 10:24 pm
Stream of conscienceness has never looked so good.

LastChapter said...
on Feb. 14 2011 at 9:34 pm
LastChapter, Hempstead, New York
0 articles 0 photos 215 comments

Favorite Quote:
(couldn't think of anything better at the time) "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."-Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

to sum it up, the goth girl, carolyn, commits suicide (at least i think) and thinks its ok b/c she believes in angels. its such a shame you couldn't appreciate this poem, it was so amazing.

on Feb. 14 2011 at 8:08 pm
FlyleafFreak DIAMOND, Loveland, Colorado
51 articles 0 photos 203 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have faith in fools;self confidence my friends call it"~Edger Allan Poe
"In this world of infinite insanity, your friends are the best psychiatrists you will ever have."~Me

Wow, the whole thing just made my breath leave my lungs. I honestly did not expect the ending. Great job and keep it up kiddo :)

on Feb. 14 2011 at 6:28 pm
The.King SILVER, Golden, Colorado
9 articles 1 photo 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A story's beginning is a sudden event. The start, a happy accident; the end, the fate for which it's meant. A story that never ends is a sad fate."-Miss Edel

I must admit I wish I understand this, but I really don't... in the end though it doesn't matter, the poem sounds great to ears even without a deep understanding of it.  Keep it up!

on Feb. 14 2011 at 1:38 pm
LauraAshley SILVER, Phenix City, Alabama
5 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Anything Beautiful is easily Lost"-Unknown

have u ever considered going to a poetry reading, and reading this aloud...I think it would be quite amazing!!! Keep writing!

on Feb. 14 2011 at 9:24 am
The_Delusional_Philosopher BRONZE, Burbank, California
2 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am a God, for I can create anything from the manifestation of my thoughts"
"Because it's there"

This poem makes me feel depressed. I like that.

Kai17 GOLD said...
on Feb. 14 2011 at 9:07 am
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
17 articles 5 photos 340 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where to, Miss?"
"To the stars."

This was amazing! I really hope you keep writing, because this was brilliant.