Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2192 comments.


RandomPi said...
on Apr. 2 2011 at 5:05 am
This is a lovely poem. Great job!

on Apr. 1 2011 at 7:43 pm
PoeticallyCorrect BRONZE, Ellenwood, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
im not lame &#039;cuz i aint cripple<br /> u dont know me like i know me<br /> i love you, no i just like you like you

i wish my writing was as beautiful as this......amazing

on Mar. 31 2011 at 6:36 pm
BananaHana GOLD, Chinook, Montana
16 articles 16 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.<br /> -Ralph Waldo Emerson-

Keep up the good work...this is a great poem!

on Mar. 31 2011 at 10:32 am
This is a very beautiful piece.<3

ronniesofly said...
on Mar. 30 2011 at 11:31 am
this poem was deep and i like it i thin this is really great!

on Mar. 29 2011 at 5:25 pm
Penfencer BRONZE, Amherst, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I see you have a sword. I have one too. They&#039;re very ... manly. And ... tough.&quot;<br /> -Mulan

I feel like sometimes here you're working so hard to make it rhyme that you lose some of the power. The rhyme scheme is also a little bit wavering. I love the message though, and you have some good stuff, but I would really like to see this as a free verse non-rhyming poem, because I think you could get your message across a lot better that way.

on Mar. 29 2011 at 2:54 pm
Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even the best fall down sometimes

I don't really understand this.. what does it mean?

AdiiG BRONZE said...
on Mar. 29 2011 at 2:43 pm
AdiiG BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
=) very nice, :DD

on Mar. 28 2011 at 1:33 pm
BeccaLeigh13 BRONZE, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Live life to the fullest&quot;

I love this poem i can picture you jumping in the air and unfourtunately landing on the ground. I can really relate to it.

on Mar. 28 2011 at 7:59 am
jlshipleys GOLD, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
11 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Only in the end looking back will we see all.

Very good poem.... the sense of rhythm and visualization is amazing.... great work!

Dark_Mind GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2011 at 11:00 pm
Dark_Mind GOLD, Little Rock, Arkansas
11 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Sounds like a Personal Problem.&quot;

Loved it alot.! Really good meaning.!

secrets said...
on Mar. 26 2011 at 9:31 pm
i like the piont that u were gettin @. parent can be over powerin and not positiva and unsuportive of us but we still try. Your poem is great and u have alot of talent keep writin.

gfigs SILVER said...
on Mar. 25 2011 at 6:32 pm
gfigs SILVER, Elyria, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
LETS DO IT!!!!!!!!!

This is like really good :D you have good tallent

naysia SILVER said...
on Mar. 24 2011 at 12:50 pm
naysia SILVER, Bossier, Louisiana
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
its my life nd im livin it

very good i love it can somone comment on mine

 


on Mar. 23 2011 at 5:32 pm
C.Michelle1295 SILVER, Denton, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I don&#039;t mind living in a man&#039;s world as long as I can be a woman in it&quot; -Marylin Monroe<br /> &quot;I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me&quot; - phillipians 4:13

I love it. It makes me think and its bold enough to have different meanings. Good job!(;

on Mar. 23 2011 at 3:19 pm
NicoletteMarshall, Selden, New York
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
I like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve.

Wow, great job!

on Mar. 22 2011 at 9:06 pm
Anasunny SILVER, Florissant, Missouri
5 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die.<br /> ~ Charge of the Light Brigade, Alfred Lord Tennyson

This poem's message was interesting and pretty, however, I don't think it flowed as well as it might have.  Overall though, good job!

on Mar. 22 2011 at 3:31 pm
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.&quot; - MLK Jr.

They meant that their father was holding them down from flying... a.k.a. holding them back from achieving their dreams. :)

on Mar. 22 2011 at 2:18 pm
callie15 BRONZE, North Plains, Oregon
3 articles 21 photos 424 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?&quot;<br /> -Chuang Tzu<br /> <br /> &quot;No man with a good car needs to be justified!&quot;<br /> -Wise Blood

there's a reason why this is one of the most popular poems on this website. this poem is...perfect (nothing is perfect, but you know what i mean) fantastic job! brava!

on Mar. 22 2011 at 12:08 pm
I love this poem! It made me really appreciate the freedom my father gave me. I felt empathy with the boy, and drawing emotional response is the purpose of a good poem. Well done and thank you :)