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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2192 comments.
RandomPi said...
on Apr. 2 2011 at 5:05 am
This is a lovely poem. Great job!
PoeticallyCorrect BRONZE said...
on Apr. 1 2011 at 7:43 pm
i wish my writing was as beautiful as this......amazing
BananaHana GOLD said...
on Mar. 31 2011 at 6:36 pm
Keep up the good work...this is a great poem!
livingthedream0 said...
on Mar. 31 2011 at 10:32 am
This is a very beautiful piece.<3
ronniesofly said...
on Mar. 30 2011 at 11:31 am
this poem was deep and i like it i thin this is really great!
I feel like sometimes here you're working so hard to make it rhyme that you lose some of the power. The rhyme scheme is also a little bit wavering. I love the message though, and you have some good stuff, but I would really like to see this as a free verse non-rhyming poem, because I think you could get your message across a lot better that way.
Untouchable-Summer SILVER said...
on Mar. 29 2011 at 2:54 pm
I don't really understand this.. what does it mean?
BeccaLeigh13 BRONZE said...
on Mar. 28 2011 at 1:33 pm
I love this poem i can picture you jumping in the air and unfourtunately landing on the ground. I can really relate to it.
jlshipleys GOLD said...
on Mar. 28 2011 at 7:59 am
Very good poem.... the sense of rhythm and visualization is amazing.... great work!
secrets said...
on Mar. 26 2011 at 9:31 pm
i like the piont that u were gettin @. parent can be over powerin and not positiva and unsuportive of us but we still try. Your poem is great and u have alot of talent keep writin.
C.Michelle1295 SILVER said...
on Mar. 23 2011 at 5:32 pm
I love it. It makes me think and its bold enough to have different meanings. Good job!(;
NicoletteMarshall said...
on Mar. 23 2011 at 3:19 pm
Wow, great job!
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE said...
on Mar. 22 2011 at 3:31 pm
They meant that their father was holding them down from flying... a.k.a. holding them back from achieving their dreams. :)
Lizzie Bennet said...
on Mar. 22 2011 at 12:08 pm
I love this poem! It made me really appreciate the freedom my father gave me. I felt empathy with the boy, and drawing emotional response is the purpose of a good poem. Well done and thank you :)
