Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Carl Haynes, Staten Island, NY

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2125 comments.


on Jan. 15 2010 at 11:16 am
another_teenage_itiot PLATINUM, Huston, Arkansas
30 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why are we so angry
why are we so sad
we dont need to stare back
at everything we had

I like it! I also kinda relate to it.

LadyLuck GOLD said...
on Jan. 12 2010 at 4:22 pm
LadyLuck GOLD, Cumming, Georgia
14 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love how you dance around the main idea, leaving readers wondering what it really means. When a poem makes you think deeply like that, that is a great poem. LOVE IT!

TaylorM SILVER said...
on Jan. 11 2010 at 8:44 pm
TaylorM SILVER, Hemet, California
6 articles 6 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes we'd never know what's wrong without the pain. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."
- The Fray

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" Matthew 6:34

..."I have no time for fear, or people in my ear. Head down and running so fast, try not to dwell on the past. I'm fighting through this pain, and things I cannot change. Running right into the flame, rather than running away"
- Maroon 5

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
- C.S Lewis

"It's not about the destination. It's not about the journey. It's about the transformation you make in yourself as you go along that journey."
- Unknown

This is an excellant poem.

on Jan. 11 2010 at 8:33 am
I really enjoyed your poem. I could tell that you are a very skilled writer and that you have a bright future ahead of you. Your words were deep and your thoughts were deeper. I literally almost cried.

on Jan. 8 2010 at 1:13 pm
heather_marie PLATINUM, Deshler, Ohio
21 articles 2 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control

it was good inspireing poem but a little confused at the end.

on Jan. 8 2010 at 8:42 am
I wish to make love to you when you are begging for it.

on Jan. 7 2010 at 7:42 pm
evrycloudyday7 PLATINUM, Wappingers Falls, New York
28 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what counts." Seneca
"I'll just read a book instead. I don't care if we're just friends. I can hang out with myself I'm old enough now to pretend. Bam ba dum ba dum ba dum." kate n

I thought it was very good. The first couple of sentences drew me in! Great job!

on Jan. 6 2010 at 7:06 pm
this poem is great! great rhythm throughout it! I wish i could write something that good! If this poem had rainbow sox, it would knock them right off! lol

L5L5 said...
on Jan. 6 2010 at 11:16 am
Very strong. I enjoyed reading it. Makes me realize how much i miss my childhood.

Every sentence waas poweful..except maybe 4 the as "i saw the birdie.."

on Jan. 5 2010 at 10:12 pm
MarinaNicole SILVER, Vancouver, Washington
7 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Turn and face the strange" - David Bowie
"Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" - Gandhi

I like the rhythm that the rhyming forms-- really nice. But I'm a little confused on the concept of the poem. That's just me though, the poem was awesome. Loved it.

MatthewZ said...
on Jan. 4 2010 at 8:03 pm
nice! look at my poem too plz? http ://www.teenink .com /poetry/free_verse/article/156195/Airplanes/ rate and comment plz! thanks a million!

8thGemini GOLD said...
on Jan. 4 2010 at 6:30 pm
8thGemini GOLD, Corning, New York
18 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't cross oceans for people who wouldn't jump puddles for you.

This is really good I mean great! The title was a little awkword though

Sr09 said...
on Jan. 4 2010 at 3:11 pm
Nice Poem ;) Very creative!

on Jan. 3 2010 at 3:37 pm
kiwi12 PLATINUM, Austin, Texas
28 articles 10 photos 365 comments
It flows very well. I like it. It also reminds me a bit of Shel Silverstein.

swimming and flying.... all good stuff!

CUTIC0314 said...
on Dec. 30 2009 at 10:37 pm
i love this poem its so pretty.... whoever wrote this is a good poem writer

on Dec. 30 2009 at 5:43 pm
jake2011 DIAMOND, Cheyenne Wells, Colorado
74 articles 5 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"With God all things are possible" Matthew 19:26

I thought the whole poem was excellent. Keep writing.

averagejoe said...
on Dec. 30 2009 at 1:30 pm
i liked how you started flying, it was really imaginative.

on Dec. 30 2009 at 12:15 pm
I think this is very powerful great job.

on Dec. 29 2009 at 8:49 pm
Raven_Lilith_Jace GOLD, Boonville, Missouri
12 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I reject your reality and substitute me own!"


- Adam Savage "Mythbusters"

i love it! i wish my stuff was HALF as good as this...

on Dec. 29 2009 at 3:04 pm
sesababi BRONZE, Crystal River, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
It a greater gift to be trusted than to be loved.

Woooooow. this is absoultly amazing


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