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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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livingthedream0 said...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 10:32 am:
This is a very beautiful piece.<3
 
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ronniesofly said...
Mar. 30, 2011 at 11:31 am:
this poem was deep and i like it i thin this is really great!
 
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Penfencer said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 5:25 pm:
I feel like sometimes here you're working so hard to make it rhyme that you lose some of the power. The rhyme scheme is also a little bit wavering. I love the message though, and you have some good stuff, but I would really like to see this as a free verse non-rhyming poem, because I think you could get your message across a lot better that way.
 
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bieberl0ve15 said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 2:54 pm:
I don't really understand this.. what does it mean?
 
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AdiiG said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 2:43 pm:
=) very nice, :DD
 
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BeccaLeigh13 said...
Mar. 28, 2011 at 1:33 pm:
I love this poem i can picture you jumping in the air and unfourtunately landing on the ground. I can really relate to it.
 
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Justin S. said...
Mar. 28, 2011 at 7:59 am:
Very good poem.... the sense of rhythm and visualization is amazing.... great work!
 
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secrets said...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 9:31 pm:
i like the piont that u were gettin @. parent can be over powerin and not positiva and unsuportive of us but we still try. Your poem is great and u have alot of talent keep writin.
 
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Figgy123 said...
Mar. 25, 2011 at 6:32 pm:
This is like really good :D you have good tallent
 
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naysia said...
Mar. 24, 2011 at 12:50 pm:

very good i love it can somone comment on mine

 

 
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immortalfreaklol said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 5:32 pm:
I love it. It makes me think and its bold enough to have different meanings. Good job!(;
 
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NicoletteMarshall said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm:
Wow, great job!
 
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Anasunny said...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 9:06 pm:
This poem's message was interesting and pretty, however, I don't think it flowed as well as it might have.  Overall though, good job!
 
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callie15 said...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 2:18 pm:
there's a reason why this is one of the most popular poems on this website. this poem is...perfect (nothing is perfect, but you know what i mean) fantastic job! brava!
 
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Lizzie Bennet said...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 12:08 pm:
I love this poem! It made me really appreciate the freedom my father gave me. I felt empathy with the boy, and drawing emotional response is the purpose of a good poem. Well done and thank you :)
 
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BLUETICKY said...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 8:49 am:
i really liked it but thought it was confusing but it was amazin
 
AmilieAmleya replied...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 8:53 am :
I totally agree with Blueticky it is pretty amazing I LOVED IT! but i cant think about wombs
 
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jill said...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 8:44 am:
this poem is really pretty
 
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FRED FREDBURGER said...
Mar. 21, 2011 at 11:15 am:
i think that the poem was CONFUZZLING it made no sense whatsoever sorry whoever the author is but i don't get it.   I LIKE NACHOS!! YES:)
 
Cityboy13 replied...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 8:23 am :
IE: Fred Fredburger Reply: The poem is about how the father was always holding him back, preventing the boy from "flying", this was made clear in the last two lines: I saw my Father pull on a chain, then I knew that I was bound
 
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