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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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This article has 2191 comments.

bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 10 2011 at 6:58 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

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one of my teachers always say its better to keep them wanting more. :)
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 8:17 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
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&quot;What you&#039;ve said can&#039;t be undone&quot; The Fray

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Yep. I guess it's best to leave some mystery in poems, to make them more interesting.
Dreammer GOLD said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 3:08 pm
Dreammer GOLD, Montrose, Pennsylvania
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Well written look at mine and comment please :) Oh yeah I'd like an honest opinion
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 6:39 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
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makes you wonder

 

DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:38 pm
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I think maybe the metaphor of the chain is a strong one which pushes more towards prisoner than caring for safety, I'm unsure whether this is deliberate though.
DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:36 pm
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Good writing. Personally though, I didn't like it. I felt I couldn't relate to it but that's just me. Saying that, it was written well. Well done on its success here!
Gracious PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 2:47 pm
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Stop doingthis
babygirl576 PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 12:43 pm
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It doesnt make sense sorry, i like it, believe me i do, but it lost me half way through
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on Nov. 8 2011 at 9:46 am
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Wow this is AMAZING!! I love it. It really makes you think about it.
chris0911 said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 8:28 am
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check out old dusty flag
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 4 2011 at 7:10 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
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hmm good point. but maybe he did know what he was doing and was a little to over protective? could that be it???
Jessbug SILVER said...
on Nov. 3 2011 at 7:06 pm
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I think that in the father's mind, he was keeping the son safe from falling, but in reality, he was keeping him prisoner and didn't realize.
HoldingFast GOLD said...
on Nov. 3 2011 at 4:02 pm
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Just to be honest guys, this is like my fave poem i've read on here. its amazing (: love it lots
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 8:02 pm
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
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yea I was also wondering wether if the father was trying to keep prisoner..well either way this is very good.
Emmy88 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 6:31 pm
Emmy88 BRONZE, New Rochelle, New York
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He is trying to keep hime safe by keeping him chained letting him go thn tying him back

 

live.laff.love said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 6:05 pm
this is verry intrestin..it makes me ponder
youngspeare BRONZE said...
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Great piece. 
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 12:31 am
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How many times is this being posted????
TaurusGal GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 11:42 pm
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Simply amazing!!!!!!!!
A_Jean PLATINUM said...
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I think it's really good. I like the line about the birdie, I don't see why people don't. It kinda leads into what you're saying about wanting to fly. Could you read my work and tell me what you think? ;)