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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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This article has 2181 comments.

bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 4 2011 at 7:10 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

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hmm good point. but maybe he did know what he was doing and was a little to over protective? could that be it???
Jessbug SILVER said...
on Nov. 3 2011 at 7:06 pm
Jessbug SILVER, Jersey City, New Jersey
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I think that in the father's mind, he was keeping the son safe from falling, but in reality, he was keeping him prisoner and didn't realize.
HoldingFast GOLD said...
on Nov. 3 2011 at 4:02 pm
HoldingFast GOLD, Plano, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 21 comments

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Just to be honest guys, this is like my fave poem i've read on here. its amazing (: love it lots
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 8:02 pm
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

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yea I was also wondering wether if the father was trying to keep prisoner..well either way this is very good.
Emmy88 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 6:31 pm
Emmy88 BRONZE, New Rochelle, New York
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He is trying to keep hime safe by keeping him chained letting him go thn tying him back

 

live.laff.love said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 6:05 pm
this is verry intrestin..it makes me ponder
youngspeare BRONZE said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 1:17 pm
youngspeare BRONZE, Nairobi, Other
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Great piece. 
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 12:31 am
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE, Albany, New York
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How many times is this being posted????
TaurusGal GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 11:42 pm
TaurusGal GOLD, Hong Kong, Other
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Simply amazing!!!!!!!!
A_Jean PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 9:46 pm
A_Jean PLATINUM, Citrus Heights, California
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I think it's really good. I like the line about the birdie, I don't see why people don't. It kinda leads into what you're saying about wanting to fly. Could you read my work and tell me what you think? ;)
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 7:23 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
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I'm kind of lost on the fact if 'father' is trying to keep you safe or trying to keep you prisoner. It depends on how you interpret the poem, but I wanted to hear it from the author! Great work! Your poem really evokes thought.
Gingersnap777 said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 3:04 pm
Interesting, and very rhythmic--it had a nice flow to it.  Great work!
Crystalkendra SILVER said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 12:05 pm
Crystalkendra SILVER, Pentwater, Michigan
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I like it very vivide I liked the end it had a double meaning I loved it thank you for putting it up so I could read it!
PaulMental GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 11:36 am
PaulMental GOLD, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
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The end has such a great "a-ha!" moment!
MarieLouiseA SILVER said...
on Oct. 24 2011 at 10:58 am
MarieLouiseA SILVER, Newmarket, Other
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This is a great piece of work. (: If anyone could read some of my work and give me some feedback i'd really appriciate it, im new to this (:
KatyPie97 GOLD said...
on Oct. 23 2011 at 9:04 pm
KatyPie97 GOLD, Eatonville, Washington
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You started off very strong, and it could have been amazing! But I felt as if you rushed into the end, trying too hard to finish. It is a great poem, still; just take your time and let the words flow:)
ThePhoenixRising BRONZE said...
on Oct. 23 2011 at 7:57 pm
ThePhoenixRising BRONZE, Macomb, Michigan
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I know when I write this it's going to be redundant, because everyone already wrote it, but it really leaves me thinking!

The part of the chain, it made me think of the title itself, Daddy's Womb. But why?

JamesODalaigh BRONZE said...
on Oct. 23 2011 at 7:46 am
JamesODalaigh BRONZE, Bandon, Other
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Simply brilliant! Please never stop.

 

pens-are-mightier-than-swords SILVER said...
on Oct. 22 2011 at 7:31 am
pens-are-mightier-than-swords SILVER, Caledonia, Michigan
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Absolutely breathtaking! Amazing, outstanding job! Sad, but very vivid and relatable. Keep on writing!
Anabelle BRONZE said...
on Oct. 20 2011 at 9:56 pm
Anabelle BRONZE, Orion, Illinois
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Love this poem. The end leaves me wondering though. I felt a sense of...almost acceptance that the narrator was bound. But it was still very sad too. Loved it though!