Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2191 comments.


bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 10 2011 at 6:58 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

one of my teachers always say its better to keep them wanting more. :)

on Nov. 9 2011 at 8:17 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What you've said can't be undone" The Fray

Yep. I guess it's best to leave some mystery in poems, to make them more interesting.

Dreammer GOLD said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 3:08 pm
Dreammer GOLD, Montrose, Pennsylvania
19 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is like quicksand the further you fall the harder it is to get out

Well written look at mine and comment please :) Oh yeah I'd like an honest opinion

bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 6:39 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

makes you wonder

 


DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:38 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
10 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

I think maybe the metaphor of the chain is a strong one which pushes more towards prisoner than caring for safety, I'm unsure whether this is deliberate though.

DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:36 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
10 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Good writing. Personally though, I didn't like it. I felt I couldn't relate to it but that's just me. Saying that, it was written well. Well done on its success here!

on Nov. 8 2011 at 2:47 pm
Gracious PLATINUM, Go Away, Kansas
22 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;life sucks and then you die, yeah, i should be so lucky&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -Jacob, Twilight<br /> <br /> I&rsquo;m still that girl who falls when she runs, Getting back up, because falling is fun.

Stop doingthis

on Nov. 8 2011 at 12:43 pm
babygirl576 PLATINUM, Marion, Michigan
34 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
You lied, and I cried. You&#039;re a jerk, so I was hurt. You&#039;re a<br /> deceiver, But I was a believer. Sorry I wasted your time, I guess?

It doesnt make sense sorry, i like it, believe me i do, but it lost me half way through

ral97 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 9:46 am
ral97 BRONZE, Audubon, Iowa
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;m the farmers daughter your momma warned you bout.

Wow this is AMAZING!! I love it. It really makes you think about it.

chris0911 said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 8:28 am
chris0911, Lawton, Oklahoma
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
The wild honey suckle, &quot;Smit with those charms, they must decay/I greive to see your future doom/ they decay-nor were those flowers more gay/the flower that did eden bloom.&quot;

check out old dusty flag

bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 4 2011 at 7:10 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

hmm good point. but maybe he did know what he was doing and was a little to over protective? could that be it???

Jessbug SILVER said...
on Nov. 3 2011 at 7:06 pm
Jessbug SILVER, Jersey City, New Jersey
9 articles 22 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.&rdquo;<br /> &mdash;Ernest Hemingway

I think that in the father's mind, he was keeping the son safe from falling, but in reality, he was keeping him prisoner and didn't realize.

on Nov. 3 2011 at 4:02 pm
HoldingFast GOLD, Plano, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If I wasn&#039;t meant to fly, I wouldn&#039;t have these wings&quot;

Just to be honest guys, this is like my fave poem i've read on here. its amazing (: love it lots

bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 8:02 pm
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

yea I was also wondering wether if the father was trying to keep prisoner..well either way this is very good.

Emmy88 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 6:31 pm
Emmy88 BRONZE, New Rochelle, New York
1 article 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You miss 100% of the shots you don&#039;t take.&quot;-Wayne Gretzky

He is trying to keep hime safe by keeping him chained letting him go thn tying him back

 


on Oct. 30 2011 at 6:05 pm
this is verry intrestin..it makes me ponder

on Oct. 30 2011 at 1:17 pm
youngspeare BRONZE, Nairobi, Other
1 article 0 photos 273 comments

Favorite Quote:
We wouldn&#039;t ask a rose that grew from the concrete for having damaged petals; in turn we&#039;d all celebrate its tenacity, we&#039;d all love tz will to reach the sun well we are the roses n these are my damaged petals don&#039;t ask me why thank God and ask me how

Great piece. 

on Oct. 30 2011 at 12:31 am
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE, Albany, New York
4 articles 5 photos 223 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color.&rdquo; - Unknown<br /> I will change this every week!

How many times is this being posted????

TaurusGal GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 11:42 pm
TaurusGal GOLD, Hong Kong, Other
13 articles 25 photos 107 comments
Simply amazing!!!!!!!!

on Oct. 28 2011 at 9:46 pm
A_Jean PLATINUM, Citrus Heights, California
40 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;we all carry these things inside that no one else can see. they hold us down like anchors and they drown us out at sea.&quot;<br /> &quot;i&#039;m trying to figure out which parts of my personality are mine and which ones I created to please you&quot;

I think it's really good. I like the line about the birdie, I don't see why people don't. It kinda leads into what you're saying about wanting to fly. Could you read my work and tell me what you think? ;)