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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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nonstopclem. said...
Apr. 16, 2011 at 8:47 pm:
This is very thoughtfully and beautifully written.  It spells out my relationship with my father as well.  I loved it. Good work. :)
 
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caycay15 said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 8:29 pm:
i am not trying to be negative and it may be just how i personaly comprehended it but i was unaware of the whole poem, it didnt make sense to me but keep it up i see that you obviously have fans so more power to ya keep up the creativity!:)
 
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Daddyo said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:38 pm:
it was gucci
 
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Melody V. said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:36 pm:
IIIII LOOVVVVVEEEE IIITTTTT!! ;-)
 
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GraceSanchez said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:30 pm:
This is cute & shows that you really care about your dad.
 
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Miranda M. said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm:
i dont really get the point of this poem
 
sonnetsrock replied...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 9:15 am :
i donteth get itith eitherith.
 
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LiveInTheMoment said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 12:38 pm:
This poem was beautifully written, and had so much emotion and strong feelings behind it. Your writing style is very unique too. I loved how you used lower case i's instead of capitals. If you can, please check out and comment on my first poem I submitted, The Girl Inside. Thanks!
 
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Nyla114 said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:22 am:
I loved it!!!!!!
 
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ilyib said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 7:42 pm:

i love it it was the grates poem iv read

 

 
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WindDancer said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 3:48 pm:
So good! And so interesting- including the title. I'm a bit confused, but I also get it, which is something I like about poems- they say what you can't say on your own, if that makes sense.
 
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coravecwriter said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 3:32 pm:
This is amazing!
 
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bellebelle1997 said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 5:53 pm:
I really liked it, but to tell the truth, I'm a blonde so, naturally, it took me a minute to understand the end. But it is a terriffically written poem, and it is going in my bookmarks! I'm just so sorry that iI was in such a blonde mood when i read this!!!! ;P
 
Range replied...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 7:39 am :
great!I like it.
 
jayjay8642 replied...
Apr. 19, 2011 at 9:36 pm :
I LOVED this poem!!!I thought it was the most beautiful poem I read!!!! Unfortanately I'm not a blondie and don't have the excuse of being stupid and not getting it!!!...JKS!
 
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Yasamen_Denise said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:50 pm:
This is a really good poem! I've shared it with some of my friends and it brought tears to their eyes
 
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Evilgummysattack said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:30 am:
Really amazing. I actually started to cry, I read it over and over.
 
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floragjThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 5:17 am:
This is lovely. The rhyme scheme reminds me of a rhythmic undertow.
 
spency replied...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:18 am :
nice poem.i really like it,good job,and itz very short too
 
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secretpiggy13 said...
Apr. 12, 2011 at 8:27 am:
I Love your poem keep writing
 
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