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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Allison P. said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 8:30 am:
cute idea, i loved it. Really liked the rhythm and rhyme (:
 
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burdentobear said...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 10:53 pm:
really, really good.  i love it!!
 
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themaster said...
Apr. 25, 2011 at 1:03 pm:
this poem is very well written i liked it alot amazing job
 
lookandwonderThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 4:30 pm :
This was amazing. It makes me wonder how poems like "Stop the violence" are voted better than this.
 
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bieberl0ve15 said...
Apr. 25, 2011 at 10:57 am:
love this! if anyone would rate/comment my poem called Asthma it would be sooo much appreciated :) I'll do the same for you!
 
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_paigeemp said...
Apr. 24, 2011 at 1:26 am:
i looooove it. Beautiful
 
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shootingstar97 said...
Apr. 22, 2011 at 9:35 pm:
That is amazing!
 
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KayleedanceEnglund said...
Apr. 20, 2011 at 8:38 pm:
This is Beautiful!
 
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ExpRESsY0uRselF said...
Apr. 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm:
This poem was great, it definitely deserves to be on the front page for as long as it was. I loved loved loved how it was such a great metaphor. Btw, if you have time, please check out, comment on, and rate my poems, The Girl Inside, You Are the Lyrics In Me, and Remembering Spring. Thanks so much! 8)
 
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nonstopclem. said...
Apr. 16, 2011 at 8:47 pm:
This is very thoughtfully and beautifully written.  It spells out my relationship with my father as well.  I loved it. Good work. :)
 
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caycay15 said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 8:29 pm:
i am not trying to be negative and it may be just how i personaly comprehended it but i was unaware of the whole poem, it didnt make sense to me but keep it up i see that you obviously have fans so more power to ya keep up the creativity!:)
 
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Daddyo said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:38 pm:
it was gucci
 
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Melody V. said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:36 pm:
IIIII LOOVVVVVEEEE IIITTTTT!! ;-)
 
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GraceSanchez said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:30 pm:
This is cute & shows that you really care about your dad.
 
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Miranda M. said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm:
i dont really get the point of this poem
 
sonnetsrock replied...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 9:15 am :
i donteth get itith eitherith.
 
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LiveInTheMoment said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 12:38 pm:
This poem was beautifully written, and had so much emotion and strong feelings behind it. Your writing style is very unique too. I loved how you used lower case i's instead of capitals. If you can, please check out and comment on my first poem I submitted, The Girl Inside. Thanks!
 
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Nyla114 said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:22 am:
I loved it!!!!!!
 
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ilyib said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 7:42 pm:

i love it it was the grates poem iv read

 

 
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WindDancer said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 3:48 pm:
So good! And so interesting- including the title. I'm a bit confused, but I also get it, which is something I like about poems- they say what you can't say on your own, if that makes sense.
 
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