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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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shoelessjoe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 4:13 pm
I've read this a thousand times and it's still fantantastic :) keep in writing Carl
 
Thoreau420 said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Beautiful expression of transcendental views and the hinderance of true free will.
 
Shadowstar said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm
.......nice.
 
Bgeek24 said...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 11:12 am
Speechless
 
NothingButAli This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 10:59 am
for everyone who doesnt understand the meaning of the poem, A poem is not meant to be read and be understood completely. A poem like this is to be left up to your imagenation. take it as you precive it.
 
Bgeek24 replied...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 11:14 am
Exactly. When I write a poem and show it to people, they sometimes ask what it means, and I tell them whatever you want it to mean. That's the point of poetry. Imagination..........
 
Tess213 replied...
Jun. 24, 2011 at 10:23 am
i think thats my favorite thing is that someone can interparat (sorry i stink at spelling) poems to their own experiences and life but someone else might find it totally different. We sort of create meanings with what we have
 
Lola_Black said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Wow. This is deep. If only I could put it better than apoetssoul... : )
 
apoetssoul said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Amazing how you used words in such a way as to convey a message that robs me of them :) Truly speechless, this is beautiful and I am personally touched by it. Please continue to write, you are gifted, and you'd better believe it :D God bless!
 
hunnybuntwix said...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm
AMAZING!!!
 
inkblot13 said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 8:50 pm
I can't tell you how many times I've read this poem and how many times I've fallen in love with it! Great job, keep up the excellent and truly superb work! :D (PS- check out some of my work? I'm dying for feedback!!)
 
praveenbryonadamrocks replied...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 2:50 pm
hey ur poem only i remember was amazing one.........i like it(:good job
 
lilfoxey said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 6:43 pm
that is a good poem
 
Sherlock said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 4:29 pm
This was a really good poem! It was very good, and enjoyable to read.
 
PassionFruit said...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Wow, good job. I really like it. I like the message you're getting across. As far as critique goes the only line that confused me was "the sky was at my level as i/ gazed at the birdie" Im confused as to where "the birdie" came from. I would understand if you had said A birdie, but THE birdie gives it more significance that the reader can't understand. Sorry, I don't mean to sound like a critic here or be harsh, I actually really love this poem. Keep writing!! And check out some of my work, once... (more »)
 
BSANCHEZ said...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 12:49 pm
I can kind of understand what your saying. But I can't fully.
 
ExpRESsY0uRselF said...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 12:18 pm
This was a really nice poem, but maybe you could make your message a little bit clearer. Also, if you have time, please check out my poem, The Girl Inside, and others. Thanksssss! :)
 
Valerie replied...
Jun. 30, 2011 at 11:26 am

Great poem!!!

BTW, ExpRESs YOuRselF, I love your screen name. Have you read a book called Paper Towns? There's a character who does that same thing...

 
ExpRESsY0uRse1F replied...
Jul. 3, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Really? i totally have to read that! Thanks!
 
inkflowerKNC said...
Jun. 10, 2011 at 2:44 pm
it's pretty good, i like it.
 
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