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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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ilyib said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 7:42 pm:

i love it it was the grates poem iv read

 

 
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WindDancer said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 3:48 pm:
So good! And so interesting- including the title. I'm a bit confused, but I also get it, which is something I like about poems- they say what you can't say on your own, if that makes sense.
 
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coravecwriter said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 3:32 pm:
This is amazing!
 
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bellebelle1997 said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 5:53 pm:
I really liked it, but to tell the truth, I'm a blonde so, naturally, it took me a minute to understand the end. But it is a terriffically written poem, and it is going in my bookmarks! I'm just so sorry that iI was in such a blonde mood when i read this!!!! ;P
 
Range replied...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 7:39 am :
great!I like it.
 
jayjay8642 replied...
Apr. 19, 2011 at 9:36 pm :
I LOVED this poem!!!I thought it was the most beautiful poem I read!!!! Unfortanately I'm not a blondie and don't have the excuse of being stupid and not getting it!!!...JKS!
 
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Yasamen_Denise said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:50 pm:
This is a really good poem! I've shared it with some of my friends and it brought tears to their eyes
 
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Evilgummysattack said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:30 am:
Really amazing. I actually started to cry, I read it over and over.
 
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floragjThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 5:17 am:
This is lovely. The rhyme scheme reminds me of a rhythmic undertow.
 
spency replied...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:18 am :
nice poem.i really like it,good job,and itz very short too
 
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secretpiggy13 said...
Apr. 12, 2011 at 8:27 am:
I Love your poem keep writing
 
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softballfreak said...
Apr. 11, 2011 at 9:26 am:
This is an awesome poem!!!!! I think you should just make it a little bot more clear!!! But other than that it is FABULOUS!!!!
 
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soccergoalie6 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 9, 2011 at 2:22 pm:
I don't want to be mean or anything but i dont get it could some one please explain?
 
KaitlynCallahan replied...
Apr. 10, 2011 at 10:38 am :
You can't understand a poem by reading it once or twice. Open your mind and read it again, I thought it was really good.
 
Kunabee replied...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 9:35 pm :

A lot of the time a poem is all about self interpretation.  It's hard to get an obscure not-at-all-prose poem exactly the way the author intended it.

I read it once through and understood it as the son trying and testing, and wanting to be free, but the father loved him and wanted to protect him so he didn't let him go.

If I read it again, chances are I'd see it a different way.

Also, writing down stuff is helpful.  Half of me explaining my specific inter... (more »)

 
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RideTheWave said...
Apr. 9, 2011 at 9:35 am:
THIS WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!REALLY GOOD!!!!!!!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!
 
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Angie123 said...
Apr. 8, 2011 at 8:17 pm:
This is creative. I really like it :)
 
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HeArToNmYsLeEvE said...
Apr. 8, 2011 at 7:54 am:
despite what others may say this is a really good poem not confusing at all nice and to the point keep it up!
 
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byebyebeautiful said...
Apr. 7, 2011 at 12:53 pm:
it was amazing! you are a gifted person, keep up the good work! <3
 
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Merlin the Gerlin said...
Apr. 7, 2011 at 12:40 pm:
How is this a hot poem? What kind of poetry is this?
 
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