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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 1916 comments. Post your own!

mariarosamarinelli said...
Sept. 12, 2011 at 5:45 pm:
Ooh, chilling. I loved it.
 
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tionashaylaR said...
Sept. 11, 2011 at 4:02 pm:
what was your idea behind this poem? what made you want to write it?
 
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bb42495 said...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 10:19 pm:

i loved the idea behind this poem and the overall rhythm...my only ssuggestion is to change the word birdie, although i know that would present some difficulty for you with reconstruction and rhythm. you did quite well with this piece. i love the idea of a father holding back his own son. you put it into words very well. you have talent.

if you have time check out my poems. i would love your feedback

 
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SHUTTERBUG said...
Sept. 9, 2011 at 9:54 pm:
I LUVVED IT IT WAS spectacular and the best part was that he thought he could prove his dad wrong but after a couple times still didnt quit witch i wouldnt have the courage to do any of that
 
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Skillz said...
Sept. 9, 2011 at 12:39 pm:
This work is really good and i loved how the boy kept proving the father wrong.
 
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EmiliePhillippi said...
Sept. 7, 2011 at 10:45 pm:
This poem is really amazing! I feel like it is referrring to parents who encourage their children to pursue their dreams, but don't truly let them. This is not necessarily something that can be helped. For example, if a little girl wants to be a fairy when she grows up, her mom's going to have to tell her it's impossible, even though the mother also tells her daughter to make her life whatever she wants it to be.
 
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benighted14 said...
Sept. 7, 2011 at 10:22 pm:
it is a great poem and poems aren't always meant to be compeletely understood...
 
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love or hate said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:33 pm:
live your like and dont care for others.
 
LOvEMOnStER replied...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:38 pm :
love or hate, I agree and disagree. I think it's important to care for others , but its also important to live your life how you want to.
 
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LOvEMOnStER said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:11 pm:
I didnt understand this poem at first but after my friends explained it I understood. This is a pretty messed up poem though.
 
TheChessKing replied...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:17 pm :
Well LOvEMOnStER, I agree that I didnt understand it at first. But after I looked at it again, it seemed not that bad.
 
LOvEMOnStER replied...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:33 pm :
to TheChessKing... I agree that it is good ,but i meant in the sence of it was messed up that his father wouldn't let him do things that he was tied up by his father.
 
dan remisherin replied...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:40 pm :
Yeshhhhhhhhhhhh
 
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Aide T. said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 10:51 am:
I really liked the message that this piece of poetry had. The part where he says that he saw his father pull on a chain; I felt a connection. yet I feel sad for him because of how his father cut him down.
 
Jason replied...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:44 pm :
Well I dont feel a connection
 
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Zap7861 said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 10:41 am:
I enjoyed reading this poem, especially for its deeper meaning. I like it because of it's rhyme scheme and the warning sign given by the father. I had a little trouble understanding message in this poem, but in the end I feltthe message given by the father can be related by us all...
 
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LiveLoveAnna said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 11:15 pm:
This is so beautiful! Extremely touching and deep :)
 
Anonymous replied...
Aug. 30, 2011 at 12:36 pm :
I fell as if this comment is very unprofesional due to the fact that is it deep and touching like a girls naughty purse. When my kids view this innaporpriate comment. I don't want to have anything explaining to do. I fell as this is very neggative twards the lovely poem I have read. Thank you and good day sir.
 
MnM... replied...
Aug. 30, 2011 at 12:44 pm :
I MUCH AGREE WITH THE PERSION ABOVE.... THAT IS OUT OF QUESTIONING.
 
Jack23 replied...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:00 pm :
I also think this comment is very negative.
 
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