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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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chloe_garrett said...
Jan. 14, 2012 at 5:44 pm
I really like this poem and the way you talk about being bound to the earth by your fatherThis is a really great poem. keep writing. I write poetry too.
 
marisol21 said...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 10:13 pm
This is great. I like the title. You should read mine.
 
KatherineKilljoy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 9:22 am
I loved it.
 
jusc44 said...
Jan. 11, 2012 at 11:45 am
This is amazing! Check out my Poem " Our Love" Thanks(:
 
laverne said...
Jan. 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm
that was great..! i would love for you to read mine.
 
Mimi15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Check out my poem 'On our Own'
 
expressionconfession This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 11:42 pm
like the title, love the construction of the metaphor. all awesome! however i'd caution you to watch your rhyme scheme... if you read this out loud to yourself you will feel that some lines seem to short/long and a few easy word changes would smooth the flow
 
Barbara C. said...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 7:20 pm
this is incredible! well done
 
HagenDazzle said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 11:15 pm
Lovely poem! I agree with the meaning of the title and how it ties into the essence of a father's love (that's what I view from your piece) Keep up the great work!
 
Shayla C. said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm
This is beautiful ! I think this is a well thoughted and was put out very well .. Im very impressed !! :D
 
Erebus_Wildfire said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 9:05 am
I agree and what explain the meaning of the title
 
Erebus_Wildfire said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 9:04 am
this piece is good the structure of it is not bad and even when giving a regular post you should always be sure have punctuation
 
Luna557 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm
See, i disagree about the punctuation comment, in a free verse poem you can do whatever you wish with the punctuation. Just look at e. e. cummings :)
 
shmam7624 said...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 8:01 pm
Love it! I keep reading it over and over again.
 
vazenitran98 said...
Dec. 28, 2011 at 11:03 am
Amazing. You are very talented.
 
TawnyNerd1995 replied...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 9:13 am
paints a wonderful picture.
 
Kim R. said...
Dec. 28, 2011 at 9:00 am
this is o.k. for a free verse. But I am confused on the title a mother has a womb not the father. All in all its alright.
 
justcoker replied...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 12:31 am
That is sort of the irony to it. when the mom is supposed to be the protective on, it's the dad
 
Annoymous said...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 10:07 pm
that was amazing
 
Bunnie said...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 6:56 pm
That was absolutely beautiful. I wish I could have your talent!
 
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