Stop The Violence This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

   Drugs all over under the ground.
Guns, people crying, putting each otherdown.
People every day do crazy things.
Buying fancy cars and a lot ofrings.
You have nothing to show for yourself.
You're dying on the inside,and you have bad health.
I wonder what the community can do.
I have noidea, not even a clue.
I look in the paper and I see someone dead.
They layon the stretcher like it was a bed.
The mothers stand in silence.
Peopleshould think TO STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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Nyrihaz said...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 7:02 pm

I have to say that I really love the meaning of this poem. It expresses the violence in our world perfectly.

A few grammatical errors can be spotted here and there. On the second verse, for example, it should be 'other down' instead of 'otherdown'. But maybe you did the error on purpose, because is an error that is repeated throughout the whole poem on several occasions. If it IS on purpose, then I understand. I liked it, especially this line: “Drugs all over under the ground&rdq... (more »)

twigurl13 said...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 11:17 am
i luv ur poem. It is nicely rhymed and alliterated, and has a topic that has touched my heart. 
ZinsteadofS said...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 9:44 am
It is really beyond me why this is rated so well
bakachan replied...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 12:19 pm
It could use some work but I couldn't have said it better!
LastChapter replied...
Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:08 pm
the wording is awkward. the rhymes are forced. the message is overplayed and unoriginal, without any creative twist to make it yours. it doesn't go into specifics, or give anything for the reader to remember. its not personal, or touching, or artistic in any way. i am honestly confused on why this was printed and some amazing pieces i've read were not.
nygal252 said...
Oct. 18, 2010 at 5:20 pm
wow... ... ... my still speachless this poem means so much. you say so many things in so little words its ...amazeing i admibe people who speek from the heart
ilovedayna replied...
Apr. 4, 2011 at 9:05 pm
i have heard all of this several times, and i don't get why people think it's so great. i'm pretty sure you have heard all of this several times, in more or less words. the writing sounds mixed up and the words don't flow. i am thinking people are mostly just rating on what they agree with as far as the high rating goes.
SamanthaBarwick said...
Sept. 18, 2010 at 11:44 am
I like the flow of the whole peom.  It speaks the truth and what people really don't want to admit is happening around them.  If enough people actually had the guts to stand up and say stop the violence, we could very well stop some of whats wrong with this world.
Wes C. said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 5:51 pm
hmm very good.......
alyluna said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 2:28 pm
ilove this its so true!!!!!
book-keeper26 said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 12:40 pm
nice idea, but you were a bit too literal. it leaves no room for the reader to imagine  deeper meaning within the concept of violence. by the way your rhyme scheme needs a little work, you had some wrds that didn't exactly rhyme.
ShatteredTear replied...
Nov. 1, 2010 at 6:15 pm
I agree with this. that and your spelling! It was great but I'm completely confused in  parts because I didn't understnad
Aug. 8, 2010 at 8:28 pm
This was a very interesting poem and didn't understand it though. Please explain and i want to kiss you all over if your a little boy.
falling10ssupernova replied...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 8:18 pm
do you think this is funny b/c its not 
coly33 said...
Aug. 5, 2010 at 2:24 pm

good for u trying to stop the violence in his world


i.ll_stay899 said...
Jul. 14, 2010 at 4:23 pm
nice poem...this is very true and its also got a good meaningful voice. good job ^^ and congrats on it getting published:)
live.create16 said...
Jul. 14, 2010 at 8:33 am
i really like this poem. it holds very true to how the world is today!
jasmine123 said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 4:16 pm
i think everything in this poem is true and we do need to work together as a community to get it back the way it was
bloodypoet said...
May 26, 2010 at 12:04 pm
the meaning in this poem is amazing every point is true.
jonas_chic899 said...
May 9, 2010 at 9:37 am
true that!! awesome poem. it had real meaning
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