The Alternative: Chapters 1-5

August 11, 2014
By kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.


Summary:

It has been ten years since the incident. Sam Summerton lives alone in misery, existing for nothing, regretting everything, wishing he could take back the past. He is lost in despair, longing to die but at the same time dreaming of redemption. He knows where death will take him, and he knows he is not ready for the final judgment. He wants a second chance.

And that's just what he gets. But little did he know that this second chance would prove to be much more than a dream come true. After he takes the Alternative, Sam is forced to confront his past rather than let go of it, and he must question his conceptions of what life is truly meant to be.


Eric C.

The Alternative: Chapters 1-5


Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 22 comments.


on Aug. 24 2014 at 7:00 pm
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

Thank you so much for the detailed feedback, and I'm really glad you didn't shy away from brutal honesty! And you're right; I do have a tendency to be really long-winded with my writing. I mean, I can never hope to be the next Ernest Hemingway, but I can at least try to make my sentences and paragraphs shorter and more direct, and I definitely need to worry less about making the story poetic and beautiful, because that's undoubtedly part of the problem. Thanks again for the feedback; it means a lot to me that you took the time to read this and give me some thoughtful tips instead of just saying, 'Yeah, it was great, keep writing'! :)

on Aug. 24 2014 at 4:57 pm
real_saxman BRONZE, Broomfield, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
Great story. You not only have a rich vocabulary, but you also use it in such a way that fully dipicts your scenes. I know, by reading around, that others have trouble accomplishing that. Furthermore, your dialogue is fluid and well written. I'm also glad to see that you added swear words at appropriate times. I know that some writters tend to stay away from them, but when writting dialogue, it's not a bad idea. No one has a perfectly clean mouth and using swear words helps the characters seem more natural and human. However, I seemed to notice that some of your sentences were comprised of unending amounts of clauses, phrase, and prepositions, compounded to the point of being inarticulate. This in no way doomed your writing but should be somthing to keep in mind. I think this sentense describes my point well, "Treacherous optimism consumed him from the inside out, blurring the truth about this accursed love, blurring the truth about Claire even as her emotionless facade turned to glass and her true feelings were revealed." It contains colorful vocab, but it is also, undeniably, a mouthful. I, myself, have also been guilty of runons, as have many of us. It's something I think its worth fixing when editing. That's my suggestion. Take it or leave it. In any case, you have a great piece of writing here. Thank you for you post.




MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!