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The Alternative: Chapters 1-5

Eric C.
The Alternative: Chapters 1-5
Summary: It has been ten years since the incident. Sam Summerton lives alone in misery, existing for nothing, regretting everything, wishing he could take back the past. He is lost in despair, longing to die but at the same time dreaming of redemption. He knows where death will take him, and he knows he is not ready for the final judgment. He wants a second chance.

And that's just what he gets. But little did he know that this second chance would prove to be much more than a dream come true. After he takes the Alternative, Sam is forced to confront his past rather than let go of it, and he must question his conceptions of what life is truly meant to be.





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This book has 22 comments. Post your own now!

ellwist said...
May 30, 2015 at 3:00 pm
Was Sam made to be unsympathetic? I know he calls himself out as a jerk, but usually that lets the reader go "oh, no you're not", but all I'm getting is "yeah, you're a real big jerk". If it is, then congratulations--you have successfully made the third jerk protagonist I've read of since Gillian Flynn and Ken Follett, and I absolutely love it. But I guess it really depends on where you stand. I loved the atmosphere of these first few chapters overall, though its a little too wordy for my tast... (more »)
 
CNBono17This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 13, 2015 at 7:23 pm
I'm thoroughly impressed; you had me from the beginning. I know there were comments made about the pacing, but I like the fact that you save a lot of the backstory until later, allowing the reader to learn how to sympathize with the characters first, before what happened is revealed. On a tangent from that, when are you going to finish? Having only six chapters of a novel that clearly is going to build and build and build is nerve-wracking and frustrating for the reader. (Although, as the writer... (more »)
 
kingofwriters replied...
May 18, 2015 at 8:42 pm
Wow! Uh...thanks! I actually stopped writing The Alternative a while ago. I wanted to write something more light-hearted and adventurous, and that's actually what I'm working on right now (although my newest story does have its own fair share of dark themes, I assure you). After seeing how many people liked it, though... I dunno. I might go back to writing it later on in life! There's no doubt that it's a great story! But you don't think it was too descriptive? I've tried to be less overly de... (more »)
 
CNBono17This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 19, 2015 at 10:43 am
I think there's a difference between verbosity and description. Your descriptions are superb, although there are a few points where the fancy words kind of hit you in the face and the reader has to look them up. (I like a few of them, though…) As for the dark themes thing, I actually don't usually like this kind of thing, but after reading your feedback on that forum thread, I looked you up and this was the first thing on the list. And it's well-written enough that I could get into it. I'll b... (more »)
 
kingofwriters replied...
May 22, 2015 at 4:59 pm
Yeah, I just submitted the more light-hearted story and it should be up soon! I submitted it once before, but TeenInk decided to be stupid and post it without any of the words. -_- Hopefully it doesn't do that again, 'cause if it does, I'll probably kill something. Probably a carrot. The light-hearted story is really hardly light-hearted, though. It's just more light-hearted than The Alternative, but it's definitely not happy overall. Like I said, it has its fair share of sadness and dark them... (more »)
 
ChrissianaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 24, 2014 at 3:06 am
great! i love all of it! Have u writen any-more books? 
 
kingofwriters replied...
Oct. 26, 2014 at 11:08 am
Yeah...I've tried. It's gotten a lot harder for me to get inspiration for some reason, and I haven't really written in a while. But I REALLY want to start writing again; I just don't know if I wanna keep writing The Alternative or if I want to try something new. :/
 
kingofwriters replied...
May 18, 2015 at 8:51 pm
I tried something new. And it's awesome. :D
 
IMSteel said...
Oct. 1, 2014 at 1:26 pm
I've only read the first chapter, but I promise I'll read the rest during the next couple of days. I'll review each chapter as I read it. Now, I would first like to congratulate you on snaring my attention with the first line, and then holding it throughout the chapter. The pace of the story was perfect: slow enough to deliver information without it seeming rushed, and fast enough to keep the plot moving smoothly. Great job on that! You did a fantastic job on the main character; my intere... (more »)
 
kingofwriters replied...
Oct. 1, 2014 at 4:07 pm
Uuuuuh...about me not overusing adjectives...you'll probably be rethinking that after reading Chapter 2! :P    As for the fact that I repeated a phrase, I was doing that purposefully, but I can see how that might come across as lazy. I wanted to use repetition to make that certain fact more significant, but I don't know. I might change it. Emphasis on the "might".    Then there's the random names I threw around that you obviously knew no... (more »)
 
Extraterrestrial said...
Sept. 24, 2014 at 7:38 am
Chapter two! I think I see now why you're worried about later chapters, but not chapter one... chapter one has this tense and foreboding atmosphere that just draws the reader in. Chapter two doesn't have the same feel. However, this isn't a bad thing. I personally feel that a story can't be all flat and one-toned all the way through. It has to change. And even though this story focuses more on character development than plot or suspense, I think you've created enough of a con... (more »)
 
kingofwriters replied...
Sept. 30, 2014 at 7:53 pm
Yeah, I agree with you; Sam's infatuation with Claire is kind of abrupt. As for the reader not having a clear reason why Sam loves Claire so much...that is actually the kind of mindset I wanted to create. I understand that the reader doesn't know why Sam loves Claire; that's 'cause he doesn't really have a reason. He just thinks she looks beautiful, and that's why he loves her and dreams of her every day.    Do you think there's too muc... (more »)
 
Extraterrestrial said...
Sept. 22, 2014 at 6:05 am
Are you guys invested in everything that's going on? Really? Are you even asking us that? Because it should be pretty darn obvious that YES. YES. YES WE ARE. Holy macaroni, I am so invested right now, despite the fact that I've read is the FIRST chapter. This is amazing. You had me hooked from the first sentence. It's short, it's simple, but it manages to convey the fact that having someone at the door is an uncommon event, which awake... (more »)
 
kingofwriters replied...
Sept. 22, 2014 at 10:41 am
Yeah, I'm not really worried about the first chapter; that one is good! It's the later chapters I'm more worried about, especially Chapters 4 and 5, because they're a lot longer and there's a lot more room for error in those chapters. Also, you should probably know that this story is only very loosely a Thriller/Mystery story; it's much more about the characters than the suspense, and that's why I was worried about whether or not readers would be invested in it: it doesn't exist purely to thrill... (more »)
 
Kestrel135This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 26, 2014 at 9:48 pm
This is for chapter 4 - things have been really busy so I haven't had a chance to read 5 quite yet but I will try to get it in soon. Again, your writing is very professional and uniformed, and you have created characters so real I could imagine walking into them on the street. This isn't a story I would ever want to miss! The whirlpool of emotions you created in this chapter was wonderful, enticing, and most importantly, believable. Your portrayal of those emotions was also quite unique ... (more »)
 
kingofwriters replied...
Aug. 27, 2014 at 11:10 am
Wow, thank you! I was actually kind of worried about Sam's breakdown, because I thought readers would be kind of overwhelmed by Sam's emotions at that point. I'm glad you liked it though; I really wanted to do a good job of getting Sam's desperation and neurosis across to the reader, because while he wants to repair the damage he's done and become a good person, there's a lot more to him than that.    As for Sandy, I agree that there were multiple times wher... (more »)
 
Kestrel135This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 24, 2014 at 9:02 pm
This was an incredible read! Though I only had time to read the first three chapters, they were thoroughly rewarding. Your vocabulary was beautiful and combined with how well you used it truly impressed me. Sometimes - though only rarely - there were almost too many of your wonderful words in a single sentence, breaking the flow of the words and making it a hassle to get through. I only noticed this a few times, however, and they only minorly distracted from the story itself. Also, it's poss... (more »)
 
kingofwriters replied...
Aug. 24, 2014 at 9:59 pm
You have NO IDEA how much your comment means to me. Thank you so much for reading, and while I hope you decide to look at Chapters 4 and 5 (those are the ones that I think need the most work) I think this comment is more than enough to help me out. I do agree with you about my overusing the vocabulary a bit; I've been rereading and working on omitting needless big words so that it's more accessible to readers who don't have a giant vocabulary, like...you know, most people. :... (more »)
 
Kestrel135This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 25, 2014 at 9:47 am
I'm so glad I can help! Later today I am planning on reading chapters 4 and 5, and I will be sure to send you my feedback when I do:)
 
kingofwriters replied...
Aug. 25, 2014 at 10:53 am
Thank you so much! You're awesome! :D I gotta warn you though, Chapter 4 in particular is REALLY long, and probably will need the most feedback out of the five chapters... :P
 

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