Advanced Search
Facebook MySpace Twitter Youtube


Teen Ink is now available on your phone! Visit TeenInk.com on your smart-phone or scan this QR Code to get access on the go!

Facebook Activity



Teen Ink on Twitter

Teen Ink
teenink

TeenInk RT @omniya134: http://t.co/N6Sr3YfN via @teenink an article i've posted on @teenink

Fri May 25, 2012 9:32pm  Reply  Retweet  Favorite

TeenInk RT @jbakernyc: [The point is]Equality! We're all the same and shouldn't be judged by who we love or what we look like. Lofty goal! #teenink

Thu May 24, 2012 4:54pm  Reply  Retweet  Favorite

Follow Teen Ink on Twitter »

Home > Novel (Fiction) > Fan Fiction > 2 Brothers part 1 (NEW)
Report abuse Submit my work Share/bookmark Email Print Home

2 Brothers part 1 (NEW)

Next book »
« Prev book
Rate this book:
Email me when iWriter365 contributes work
Cassandra C.
2 Brothers part 1 (NEW)
Summary: Summary: John Lonnen, grew up an orphan, but his brother was the favorite of the one's who raised him, they taught his brother to do wrong, now his brother was known as Cobra Commander, he had to stop him, he goes through many adventures along the way, but finally, he gets his brother to snap out of it. But how?

Tags: love/relationships family friends school self-esteem death/loss drugs/alcohol/smoking discrimination violence




Join the Discussion


This book has 5 comments. Post your own!

Report abuse
raindance72This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 28, 2011 at 7:48 pm:
I think you have a great story in the making here. However, you do need a little work on your punctuation, as the excessive commas can be a little bit confusing. As Jappy said, the age-relationship is a bit confusing. Maybe make it a bit more understated and more obviously childlike. Keep writing, though, I can tell you have big potential! :)
 
iWriter365This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 10 at 3:34 pm :
Yeah, I'll change the punctuation later, but the age thing... it's not that big of a deal, my first kiss was when I was in 3rd grade, it was also my first french kiss :P, probably other things, but I won't tell you all that. :/
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Report abuse
JappyalldayeverydayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 28, 2011 at 6:22 pm:
I thought the romance between John and Jade was cute, but you have to make them a little older, like 10 or eleven, because I don't think 8 year olds would ever kiss the way they did....It got a little confusing in the end, it seemed like he was aging so quick.
 
iWriter365This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 28, 2011 at 6:35 pm :
well, changing the age thing, wouldn't work out for me.. but if I slowed down the aging, the story would be too long, he has a long story behind him. Oh and guess what? I'm working on an animation based on it, that probably won't be confusing :), Im also drawing pics
 
iWriter365This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 10 at 3:36 pm :
Oh, and BTW... they aren't to young, OK they are, but it's fiction, plus I've made-out with someone at that age... :) yeah, I know, not your everyday girl.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 

Launch Teen Ink Chat