Breakup Letter MAG

December 6, 2008
By Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown


Dear Windows Internet Explorer,

Our relationship has been strained for a long time. Of course, it’s not all your fault, nor is it all mine. Our intermediary is also to blame: my hated Gateway (insert string of numbers hidden somewhere on the computer’s body, necessary for purchase of any software) PC, which runs far too slowly and far too aggravatingly. But that does not get you off the hook.

You see, Windows Internet Explorer, I can no longer deal with your ridiculous loading time. Sure, at one time I found it attractive – even sexy – for my browser to take ages to log in or load a webpage. But not anymore. My life is fuller than it was, and I don’t have time for you to semi-load and then stop.

Also, as much as I loved it when we got together, your refusal to log me in to some of my necessary accounts, such as e-mail and MySpace, has become a problem. It was unfair of you, and I should not have submitted to your cruelty and mistreatment.

A third reason for my leaving you may seem mean: you are simply far too sickly. You are constantly contracting new viruses, and your immune system is terrible. I don’t have the time or the money to care for you anymore. It may seem unfair, but you will have to survive on your own. I cannot keep healing you, going through and finding all your corrupted files, cleansing our intermediary’s system because you have given it some virus, bug, or spyware. It takes far too much time and energy, which I do not have.

Windows Internet Explorer, you did wonderful things for me that, at the time, no other could do. But, my dear, times have changed, and while you have too, you have not changed enough. I am 16 now, nearly a grown woman, and I cannot tolerate your childish ways. As much as I once cared about you, I fear that the time has come for us to part.

Your former friend,
Kirstykaakes3
A.K.A.
fuoc0tanz3r
A.K.A.
jinx-raven94
(I’m sorry, but it seems I’ve forgotten the rest.)

P.S. When I clicked on you, then selected “uninstall,” I meant that I never wanted to see you again. I wanted you off my PC. I didn’t mean “create five new shortcuts.”



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This article has 232 comments.


on May. 9 2011 at 6:26 pm
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Your school computers are apples? That is...something I have never heard of before. All the schools I've been to are IBM. And they are replaced when they die. Maybe.

Hejlna said...
on May. 8 2011 at 9:28 am
I hate school computers too! Ours are iBook4's going on 7 years! They crash all the time.

on May. 6 2011 at 7:40 pm
Consulting-Detective GOLD, Andover, Massachusetts
13 articles 8 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progresses can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~Gandhi

Macs/Apples Rock! I'm on my MacBook right now and it's awesome! It is 3-5 years old, so it's not too fast, but as you say, I love it to pieces! I hate having to use school computers ~ they're all on Windows Vista and they're these huge black monsters, but I guess they get the job done. I still prefer Apples though!

StarStrukk said...
on Apr. 15 2011 at 1:14 pm
 LOVE IT!!!! :))))))

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:21 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

This was a satire letter I wrote, parodying how much trouble I was having with my current browser. Even though I'm replying super late, i hope that clears things up for you!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:19 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

I'm glad you liked it!

Haha, if you knew me, you would know this is how I talk on a daily basis. I'm no longer on Teenink, but if you google "fuocotanzer" all accounts under that name are me. Feel free to drop me a note! I promise I'l reply faster then this!


on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:18 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

I'm so glad you guys loved it!

And if you want more light, fluffy things, why not write them yourself?


on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:17 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Whatever works for you! Safari did crazy things, so I left it for firefox. We are now in an intimate, loving relationship and things are going very well for us.

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:15 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Thank you! I'm incredibly flattered!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:14 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Thank you! Even though I'm replying super late, I just wanted you to know that I'm glad you liked it!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:14 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Thank you! I'm so flattered!

 


on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:13 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Haha, I wouldn't say it's perfect, but I'm glad you liked it!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:12 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:12 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my work!

As for writing, I'm no longer on Teen Ink - but just google "fuocotanzer" - I own all rights to the name, all accounts under it are me. Feel free to drop me a message!


on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:09 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:08 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Each to their own! Thanks for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:08 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

You're making me blush! No, really! Thank you so, so much!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:07 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Thank you so much!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:07 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I'm terribly sorry I left you hanging for over a month.

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:06 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

It's been...a long time for me. Three years since I wrote this letter, and we had an on and off relationship for a while...but now firefox and i are going steady, and I think will stay that way for a long time.

How are you and Opera doing together?



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