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My First Kiss

By , Roselle, IL
We sat there on his balcony looking at the stars on a summer night. The night sky is pitch black, well is suppose to be, the stars make the sky brighter. All of a sudden his arm went around my waist and that shocked me. It was unexpected. I didn't know what to say. I turned around to find his shining blue eyes staring down at me. I was speechless. The love that was in his eyes, it made skin tingle in a good way. I was afraid what will happen next so I turned away and looked at the sky. "Hey is that the big dipper over there?" I asked. I really didn't see the big dipper I just wanted to say something to break that seemed like an everlasting silence. " No thats the not the big dipper." He said queitly and content. Then he moved the arm the was around my shoulders to my waste as he moved a little bit closer.I felt his eyes staring at me trying to read my expression, my mind. A shiver sped down my spine as he started caressing my back. I turned to stare back at him not expecting anything. Until he kissed me and his lips stayed on mine for what seemed like a forever. It was so tender. caring and soft. Just like what I hoped my first kiss to be like. When it was over I knew everything had just changed between us and that made me a bit scared.



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This article has 103 comments. Post your own now!

KyraJ said...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 10:20 am

awww

i loved that...it was so sweet :D

im really happy now lool

 
Hannah.XD said...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 12:48 am
i love this its so emotional its just so great i love it<3
 
Berta said...
Oct. 14, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Nice job.  Sounds really good.
 
COEURDARKO said...
Oct. 14, 2010 at 9:37 am
Hey me too! My first kiss went a little like this!*mwah* and twist! *mwah* and twist!
 
Kelz1141This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 14, 2010 at 12:52 pm
lol When i read the title of this, I was like wow I have to comment those song lyrics! XD
 
SabreEleven replied...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 10:58 am
haha I was thinking the same thing :)
 
rain-rain111 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 2:50 am

TeenInk.com/fiction/romance/article/228568/First-Kiss/

THIS IS A BETTER VERSION THAT I WROTE :) CHECK IT OUT.

 
rain-rain111 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 10, 2010 at 4:51 pm

HEY PEOPLE I RE-WROTE THIS STORY WITH NO ERRORS AND MORE EMOTION HERE IS THE LINK:

TeenInk.com/fiction/romance/article/228568/First-Kiss/

 
sondheimfreakThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 26, 2010 at 9:27 pm
Cute, but there are millions of stories about perfect, expectant, dreamed up first kisses. Don't write about what you hope it will be like, write about what you think it will be like. Realistically.
 
fair246 said...
Jun. 26, 2010 at 8:55 pm
when i saw the title of this i started singing the song by 3OH!3 in my head. isn't that bad? haha but anyways this is pretty good.  a little corny but i enjoyed it.
 
taylorf463 replied...
Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:16 pm
Me too!!! lol!
 
KelsieYellow replied...
Jul. 18, 2010 at 2:41 pm
the first thing that popped in my head was that song
 
TheListener replied...
Dec. 19, 2010 at 3:59 pm
haha I thought of that song too and just randomnly started singing it. 
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 1:24 pm

This was adorable and sweet. I loved it.  Please keep writing!

Btw, anyone who sees this, will you check out and comment on my stuff?

 
fair246 replied...
Jun. 26, 2010 at 8:57 pm
i checked out your work. i really like your stuff!
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 26, 2010 at 9:09 pm
Thank you:)
 
Kat2292 said...
Jun. 4, 2010 at 8:14 pm

A very cute story, but I felt as though there was a lack of emotion in some points.  Grammatical and spelling mistakes are also in here.  If you'd fix that up though, it would be a great piece.

Part of me wishes I could have a first kiss like that one, but all of me still gets that undescribeable feeling of pure happiness whenever I think about it.  Anywayz, your story has good potential; just see if you can write it as if you were doing so at the same time you were expe... (more »)

 
Russelsgurl replied...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I trully loved this article. It reminded me of the night that i got my first kiss with my current boyfriend. And to all you haters out there, don't just dog on the spelling errors. This story(pending the grammatical errors) evoked the essence of what i thought was a heartfelt, loving story of the beggining of a relationship.If the girl who wrote this extended it into a novel, i belive that it would hit the NewYork Time Bestseller list, so just keep rooting her to write more.
 
KC-Dimples said...
Jun. 4, 2010 at 6:33 pm

Honestly, I didn't really like it. It's a cute story, though. When you attepted to put in detail, you had incorrect spelling or grammer, which, for me, ruined it. I don't really care for your writing style much. Keep practicing though,  and you'll get better.

Also something I noticed was your lack of voice. You have no personality in this writing piece.

I would suggest to do all of your writing in Microsoft Word to easily correct any spelling or grammer mistakes.

 
DarkMountain replied...
Jul. 16, 2010 at 11:57 pm
No offense, but you kinda ruined your point about the spelling mistakes by spelling "grammar" incorrectly :D
 
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