Intensity

June 13, 2009
By Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell


The tears poured off her eyelids; slid down her cheeks; fell to the floor. Slowly she sank to the ground, trembling slightly. Her breath came in deep sobs, wracking her chest. She barely had enough air. She did not hear the soft footfalls coming ever closer. She did not see him as he sat down next to her. She did, however, feel as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Turning slightly, the girl buried her face in his shoulder. Her friend held her tighter, resting his head in her soft chestnut curls.

The two of them sat that way for what felt like hours; the girl sobbing loudly on the boy’s shoulder, the boy holding her quietly, steadfastly. Finally, the girl released her last tear. She looked up at the boy, eyes red from crying, cheeks flushed. He turned to her, a small crooked smile on his lips. To the girl’s surprise, tears were slipping down his face as well. “Why are you crying?” she asked softly, voice cracking. The boy considered the question for a second.

“I am crying because you are crying,” he replied truthfully as yet another tear trickled down his handsome face. His smile was still there, unwavering.

The girl stared at him with wide eyes. He stared back at her. A chill like an electric current flowed through both of them. The air around them tingled with static. Slowly, as if pulled by some invisible force, the two teenagers moved closer. Their faces were within a hair’s breath of each other’s. “Why me?” she whispered. “Why did you choose me?” Her eyes darted back and forth, looking for an answer written on his face. “You are the only one who’s real. The only one out of all those girls who knows what it means to truly love someone. Even though he broke your heart, you just keep going. I like that. I think… I think I may even love that.”

His eyes gleamed with a passion long suppressed. “I think I may love you.” His sweet breath lingered on her lips. The girl’s heart began to beat frantically, as if trying to keep up with her rapidly changing emotions. “I think I may love you too,” she admitted.

Without meaning to, the girl shut her eyes. The two leaned even closer, closing the gap between them. His soft lips pressed against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his arms coiled around her waist. The kiss deepened.

Gently, they pulled apart. Both were smiling softly. “Thank you,” the girl said under her breath, so quiet that the boy sitting right next to her wasn’t sure he had heard her at first.

“For what?” She stared deeply into his eyes. He held her gaze, reciprocating the intensity. “For giving me a reason to live again. For saving me from falling.”

“Anytime. Thank you, too. Thanks for letting me in. Thanks for not pushing me away.”

At the same time, the two teenagers said, “I love you,” sealing their fate.

The two leaned in closer, their foreheads, then lips, pressing against the other’s.



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This article has 376 comments.


Soleil BRONZE said...
on Dec. 15 2011 at 4:59 pm
Soleil BRONZE, Ames, Iowa
4 articles 1 photo 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't look back on happiness or dream of it in the future. You are only sure of today- do not let yourself be cheated out of it."

At first I thought this was going to be a chiche (like we haven't all heard and used the phrase "crawling down cheeks, falling to the floor") but as I read on, my heart began to melt little by little. I can feel the connection between the two of your characters, and I love the fact that you don't give either of them names. And that you don't know why she is crying in the begining. I can see this in my mind--even feel it. Great job!

on Dec. 15 2011 at 4:48 pm
RejoiceTheySay... PLATINUM, Topeka, Kansas
29 articles 8 photos 20 comments
yikes. honestly thats what i thought. the first paragraph was so fantastic it drew me in! but then...well i guess the whole hopeless romantic thing reallyy annoys me and strangley left me feeling like i did after i read twilight...when did the love happen?

on Nov. 23 2011 at 9:54 am
Jappyalldayeveryday, Detroit, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in the blink of an eye

I love this, it's so romantic

 


LuvLeila said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 5:53 pm
thts so beautiful

Art94 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 2:04 pm
Art94 BRONZE, Columbia Heights, Minnesota
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Progress involves taking risk, you can't steal second base without taking your foot off first.

But that what makes the story so beautiful and powerful!!! She left us guessing of what happend that caused so much emotion. 

on Oct. 20 2011 at 1:34 am
Starling23 SILVER, Roy, Utah
5 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You only have to do two things in life. You have to live, and you have to live until you die. You make up the rest."

Oh my. I feel like I have lived your story. It was very beautiful and I felt connected to it. Good job.

MacyJo said...
on Oct. 10 2011 at 10:45 pm
The comments below mine say something the generally means that although this story is beautiful and a dream come true for anyone, thats exactally what it seems to be, a dream. I say this is real. Fairytale love is very possible. Your depiction of both the character's emotions and the way you left the background story of why the poor girl was crying are astounding. I wanted to cry when i read this. Thank you!

WriteItOff said...
on Oct. 10 2011 at 5:27 pm
WriteItOff, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 15 comments
okay your obviously either in love or want to be veryyy badly, it was a cute little romantic story but also on the verge of cheesy and there wasn't much of a storyline, it was like a stream of conscience kinda thing

on Oct. 10 2011 at 4:26 pm
asianflannelcouple2 BRONZE, Phoenix, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
I know this wasn't supposed to make me laugh, but the best part was when they said I love you which "sealed their fate together". You seem to be a true romantic and that's good. It seemed less of reality and more along the lines of wanted romance which I bet teens will relate and love. I suggest focusing on on word choice and such to allow for less cliches. It will make your writing so much more interesting and original. This story is probably described as, and I quote most teen girls,'' like sooo beautiful and adorable and like soo intense :) '' haha

on Oct. 10 2011 at 3:33 pm
The only difference between this and Twilight is that when they kissed and the guy actually didn't pull away. But this has a nice fairy tale ring to it because it doesn't seem like reality works this way. Oh young love haha

on Oct. 10 2011 at 3:25 pm
asianflannelcouple1, Phoenix, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"this is Sparta"

This was a wonderful comedy but to beleive that romance happens like this would be to live in a life of denial as touching as that young man crying while holding her was it just will never happen in real life but i do give you props because what you wrote was DEFINITLY better than anything stephanie myers wrote you have a definite talent for writing :)

on Oct. 10 2011 at 12:08 pm
HarlequinHurricane, SomewhereLikeThat., Other
0 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
A horse ate my cousin once. Me and horses got a fuuuueeeddd.

this story is really beautiful. i was a little confused at times but i loved it all the same. write more on this, please...

on Oct. 10 2011 at 11:55 am
musiccrazy SILVER, Colorado Springs, Colorado
8 articles 1 photo 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live a life worth living, because God gave you this amazing gift worth giving!" by me (Harley)

Great job loved the story! Keep writing you have talent!

Fallyn BRONZE said...
on Sep. 5 2011 at 1:34 pm
Fallyn BRONZE, Rohnert Park, California
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Fantastic story! Great job. 

on Aug. 27 2011 at 5:44 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

Very good description, could you please check out my story "Snowy Bliss"?

on Aug. 27 2011 at 9:41 am
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

I loooove this :) so sweet..at parts, I must admit I did get a little confused with who was talking but great job!! <3

on Aug. 5 2011 at 7:01 pm
Cielo4ever GOLD, Santa Monica, California
10 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
Thats Just How The Cookie Crumbles ;) -I have no idea who said this

A to the frickin mazin! I loved it!!

Could you read my story:

you plus me equals we

In the Land of Myrlie

and/or

Vanish


on Aug. 5 2011 at 12:51 pm
ZaZaGoober BRONZE, Hayward, California
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are and say what you feel
Because those who matter don't mind
And those who mind dont matter







- Doctor Seuss

This article is one of the most well written i have seen on here and i hope if you persue a career in writing that one day i'll be picking up one of your books from borders :D

Emmazing GOLD said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 7:03 pm
Emmazing GOLD, Alexandria, Virginia
18 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm simply complicated.

Wow...I cant even... This is just amazing. 

on Jul. 30 2011 at 11:48 am
Divagirl508 BRONZE, Staten Island, New York
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is easy to get to the top after you get through the crowd at the bottom .

what a masterpiece! Keep more coming.


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