The Struggles of Tay
Author's note: I wanted to help others. I know how it feels to feel alone. Others shouldn't feel that way. I... Show full author's note »
There is a LightIt’s almost been a year and I dropped out of high school for good, I see a new wonderful therapist, am working on my GED, debating between cosmetology school or law school so I can defend rape victims, I was really depressed for a long time and am now just starting to get out of it. Speaking of my happiness just makes me want to cry. I now realize my bipolar, anxiety, or depression doesn’t make me who I am.
Now what I see in the mirror is a beautiful young lady, with tons of ambition, a big heart, talent in writing and singing, a intelligent individual. If people have a problem with the new me they can get over it.
So what my body does shake and I maybe a little socially awkward? I’m me, Taylore Marie and that’s the best I can be.
So if you’re going through what I went through abuse, tons of medicine, getting sick, and not being able to function because of your mental illness don’t doubt yourself, don’t give up, and keep fighting. We are all soldiers in our own wars. The question is are we going to fight or die?
Look at me now. I was on thirteen pills a day before. I am now on four. I smile, I enjoy my hobbies again, I wake up cleaning and singing, I read for fun, I walk again, I roll out of bed, I’m working on my education, and trying to drive, I pray and read the bible, and I express my emotions, and finally act my age, I’m even trying to get a job.
I have a great support system from wonderful loved ones. I believe you too can get there. I still have a ways to go but I am fighting my battle like no other.
My main thing was I always wanted to fit in. Marilyn Monroe has a very famous quote that always helps me when I’m feeling down or misunderstood or even left out she says,” I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
I believe every word of that. In fact she is probably one of the smartest women I can think of when it comes to needing inspiration in your life.
I was down for a really long time. In fact I want to reach out to teens all over the world and let them know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
If I could tell everyone that with telepathy I would. However it would take a great amount of brain power, and with as smart as I am I don’t think I can do that. Not even Einstein could.
I no longer have asthma by the way, which I am grateful for because asthma attacks used to put me in the emergency room. Miracles do happen. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom and stay there until you decide to climb to the top.
Either way you can do it! I didn’t share this for pity. I don’t want your pity. I want to give you inspiration. In the long run everything you do, all the hard work is worth it. I promise you that. Just live a happy life, enjoy your time, appreciate your loved ones, don’t rush growing up, and dare to be different. It’s okay to stand out of the crowd. Like I say,” When everyone is wearing black dress in pink!”