Darkness Falls | Teen Ink

Darkness Falls MAG

By Anonymous

   Thepremise of "Darkness Falls" is minimal: Don't peek out from under thecovers or a sadistic version of the Tooth Fairy will murder you.

Watereddown to garbled stupidity, the plot makes no sense as soon as the sorry excusefor a narrator opens his mouth: Centuries ago in the town of Darkness Falls, anold woman named Matilda is dubbed the Tooth Fairy because she gives children goldcoins in exchange for their teeth. Her actions make her an outcast and the bigotsof the settlement set her on fire before hanging her in the town square. With herdying breath, Matilda promises that her spirit will visit the town's children intheir sleep the night they lose a tooth and kill them if they look at herdisfigured form.

Fast forward to present day and Kyle Walsh (ChaneyKley), the only kid ever to see the Tooth Fairy and live to tell his tale. Kylewitnessed his mother's murder at the hands of the Tooth Fairy and earned areputation for being afraid of the dark. He returns to Darkness Falls when hischildhood sweetheart (Emma Caulfield) calls to tell him that her younger brotheris having the same night terrors Kyle did.

First and foremost, it isessential to point out one fact to the brain cell-deprived characters in thisless-than-mediocre horror flick: If you name a town Darkness Falls, maliciousthings are bound to happen, so don't act so surprised when a ghost comes to ripout the teeth of innocent children - you should have seen that coming.

Second, if you believe in karma and apparitions, don't go out alone foran evening stroll in a forest unless, of course, you have suicidal tendencies orare some sort of masochist. Finally, if you are a potential victim, don't lie inthe dark with your eyes bugged out of your head. Think before you act, people.Honestly.

This flat screenplay (that was probably written in less than aday) should come with this advisory: "Not only will watching the full 85minutes of this mild spook make your I.Q. drop a couple of points, but the crudespecial effects will numb your senses." The camera angles change so quicklyand the lighting is so poor that you are never too sure of what you are lookingat. Only one thing is certain: there are definitely strings suspending the rubber"scary" ghost costume from the ceiling.

Aside from theunbelievably obvious mistakes made in the editing room, the movie's score isdreadful. Replacing music with disjointed wails of vengeance from an unhappyspirit, the soundtrack is nothing but tormented screams that scrape your eardrumsto a bloody pulp. This is definitely not something to spend money on.

Even with its poor quality and low budget, children will welcome a rootcanal with open arms after seeing the tooth-stealing entity in action. Keep thosesmiles sparkly, kids. A pixie in a hockey mask will come to haunt you if she seesany plaque.

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This article has 2 comments.

i love this so much!

on Apr. 16 2009 at 4:24 pm
Darkness falls rocked the night for you. Don't watch at night!!!