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Paid millions for her so-called “wonderful” wedding.
She got a divorce after two hours.
Or something like that.
I could make so many wise-cracking metaphors.
I could really compare her to anything.
So much of her body has been altered in lifts and Botox,
And I’m sure that everything attractive about her is made of plastic.
So, I would consider her to be an obnoxious, attention hogging Barbie Doll.
After all, she probably didn’t get enough attention at first,
So she has to get countless surgeries, and of course
Not even after her million dollar wedding with Ken,
There’s always a new Malibu Blaine for her to run away with.
What is she famous for, anyways?
And Snooki just gets drunk all the time.
She gives New Jersey the reputation that no state wants.
She’s a drunk, ugly duckling.
And she’s way too immature to ever become a swan.
Tiger Woods cheated on his wife.
So did everyone in the government.
Well at least they kept one promise- to make change.
But they made the kind of change that led to Saturday Night Live skits.
Teenage girls look up to Bella Swan.
And she gives her life away to Edward Cullen,
A boy who just wants to kill her.
How has a book about vampires become so popular?
Every love story is about socially awkard teenagers
And somewhere in chapter three, they fall in love with a mythical creature.
Our society is wasted.
Literally, everyone just gets drunk all the time.