To Become... | TeenInk

To Become...

February 2, 2009
By Perfectionist47 BRONZE, Eureka, California
Perfectionist47 BRONZE, Eureka, California
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

To Become

My wings take me higher and higher,
I'm flying, no longer limited to the coarse ground.
Now I'm soaring through the open sky above me,
the anticipation growing with each beat of my heart.

Suddenly I'm close,
close enough to hear it;
the sound of thundering swirls of boiling flames,
pound to my ears.

I'm closer still-
close enough to smell it,
the smell of the molten air, the oxygen seems to be burning in my lungs,
and I feel like I can't breathe, but it's worth it

I finally close in on it,
I can see it now,
the round sphere of light twirls around me,
enveloping me in it's power

I'm so close now I have the illusion of being the sun,
My fingers stretch out around me, and my hands cup the fire,
Oh! I gasp,
It does not burn, if feels cool against my skin...

like holding a-
moonbeam, or a-
shadow, or an-
ocean wave,

It is something so mystical and glorious,
always changing and yet, still the same sun,
and I gasp out a wild breath-
shut my eyes-

and let myself become-
the Sun

The author's comments:
I want you to have the image that you're in the sun, and then you feel the limitless power of it. Then you just let go, and become the sun. Please let me know how I did, or give me any suggestions about my work! Thanks!

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This article has 21 comments.

mandygale77 said...
on Sep. 23 2009 at 6:05 pm
Beautiful! I love the last line especially, about the Sun.

on Mar. 19 2009 at 4:01 pm
SillySarah BRONZE, Covert, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live today as if there is no tomorrow.

This is so awesome! it seems so real, like if you were really there, and in some way it seems inspirational like if your trying to say that you can do anything you want to if you can.

MissusE said...
on Feb. 23 2009 at 2:25 pm
I like how you created the feeling of power and energy by using the symbol of the sun. Keep writing.

ChildOfGod said...
on Feb. 21 2009 at 3:56 pm

Your work was very interesting and it made me stop and think.

Thanks, i looove poetry.

Up there was the link to my work.

Thanks Stella!

hanna said...
on Feb. 20 2009 at 3:54 pm
very moving!

susanits4u said...
on Feb. 20 2009 at 2:36 am
Great writing! You have a vivid imagination!

E-Dawg Jones said...
on Feb. 19 2009 at 11:04 pm
This poem was very good. I thoroughly was entertained by it. Keep Writing!

on Feb. 19 2009 at 7:26 am
jellyinthesky PLATINUM, Renton, Washington
26 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"wow, you have a shit-ton of cheese."

i love the metaphoric possibilities of this. good job.

beckergrl12 said...
on Feb. 18 2009 at 11:23 pm
wow! that was have a great imagination..your poem is very inspiring!!

DJC said...
on Feb. 18 2009 at 5:47 pm
I really like this poem. It makes me think of a number of possibilities, and the imagery was wonderful!

on Feb. 18 2009 at 1:54 am
very creative and well written

Joey Ann said...
on Feb. 18 2009 at 1:01 am
I love your poem - very descriptive and nicely written. Keep writing!

SuperAuntie said...
on Feb. 18 2009 at 12:51 am
Fabulous! So imaginative with such vivid vocabulary, it really pulls the reader into your poem. I hope to read more soon Estelle.

on Feb. 17 2009 at 11:53 pm
alto_power BRONZE, Eagle, Idaho
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Wow this is really great! it's really creative :)

on Feb. 17 2009 at 10:10 pm
Perfectionist47 BRONZE, Eureka, California
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments
This is Stella, I LOVE reading everyone's comments! Even if you absolutely hate it, please write something. I really want to improve my writing however possible. Please vote and comment!!! Thank you.

thatguy26 said...
on Feb. 17 2009 at 9:05 pm
this is a very nice poem. i like its creativeness and style. it is thought-provoking and well written.

Shakira said...
on Feb. 17 2009 at 2:03 pm
I loved this poem!!! I just want to read it over and over again!!!! I can't wait till I can read more of your work!!!! 5 STARS!!!!!!!!!

on Feb. 17 2009 at 1:57 pm
Perfectionist47 BRONZE, Eureka, California
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments
Stella that poem was AMMMMAZZZZINNNNGGGG! I had no idea you were such a good writer! I hope you make it into the magazine!

Ruthie95 said...
on Feb. 17 2009 at 3:18 am
This poem was so beautiful! I had no idea what it was about until the very end, but to me that is what a good poem is about.

carijoy SILVER said...
on Feb. 17 2009 at 3:04 am
carijoy SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
8 articles 24 photos 51 comments
Wow, this is great! I love the structure and the vivid imagery.

Keep writing!