Dark Rain | Teen Ink

Dark Rain

April 22, 2010
By SeptJess16 BRONZE, Brooklyn, New York
SeptJess16 BRONZE, Brooklyn, New York
4 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where classification is key, I want to erase the shred lines so I can be ME." - Stacey-Ann Chin


This happiness inside of me is dead
My brown small eyes are false with contentment
As I lay in this still night on my bed,

I picture life’s cruel dreadful resentment

This world with its illusions I can’t see
So, my life is slipping away like sand
How I long for someone to be with me
And hear his whispers as he holds my hand

My vacant heart still can’t find my feelings
I can never draw the same picture twice
Trust prevents me with much needed healings
And eternal love is without a price

I don’t reason of how lonely I get
Because in time we never even have met



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This article has 4 comments.


on Aug. 11 2010 at 9:22 pm
WriterJK SILVER, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
[The Young Poet] should stay the hell out of writing classes and find out what's happening around the corner. And bad luck fo the young poet would be a rich father, an early marriage, an early success or the ability to do anything very well.

my writings are up if you would like to check them out. :]

on May. 17 2010 at 10:16 am
jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 568 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul....wisdom is better than silver or gold."

"You can always close a book, but you can never close the mind of a writer."

wow...awesome piece!! :) i like how you sort of portray the loneliness and waiting for someone special. i dunno if thats how you wanted to present it, but that is how i portrayed it :) it's very beautiful!! i LOVE the entire third stanza, it is soo beautiful :) would you mind commenting on some of my work?

on May. 13 2010 at 7:33 pm
SeptJess16 BRONZE, Brooklyn, New York
4 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where classification is key, I want to erase the shred lines so I can be ME." - Stacey-Ann Chin

Thanks so much much for your amazing feedback it was highly appreciated. I look forward to reading your work soon.

on May. 13 2010 at 6:10 pm
WriterJK SILVER, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
[The Young Poet] should stay the hell out of writing classes and find out what's happening around the corner. And bad luck fo the young poet would be a rich father, an early marriage, an early success or the ability to do anything very well.

I like your writing. I know poetry is all about expression of emotion. In this, i felt as though you are waiting for someone or are lonely. I mean poems may have many different meanings, but i am just sharing with you what i got out of it. All together really good poem, I find myself writing things of this nature a lot. I will be posting some later, maybe you will check them out and let me know what you think :]