My If You Really Knew Me | Teen Ink

My If You Really Knew Me

September 4, 2010
By Sania GOLD, Aroura, Colorado
Sania GOLD, Aroura, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 14 comments

I'm cold, I'm screaming at the top of my lungs.
And it hurts because no one answers.
I'm all alone.
In this world, no one cares...
To say hello, or good bye.
And believe me I'm thankful;
to be here with no deformities or addictions to any substance of any kind...
Well maybe love.
But you see no one cares, my heart breaks into a gajillion pieces. Know what I figured out? Hearts don't break even.
No use gluing it back together; seeing as no one wants it any way.
And yes I'm "happy" and yes I'm random though through the mask you cannot see who I really am....


Because if you really knew me you'd know that I am me, even if that means no one likes the real me but only the outside version.
And that I'm smiling bright and clear braces and all. With the sunshine and rainbows, unicorns and glitter....NOT if you really knew me you'd know I never share with people the any of the problems I have.
I will tell you,
that I love you, it's because I do.
You'd know i cry at 'chick flicks" and funerals too.
I always get humungo headaches, most of all that I cry some times for no reason and long for your touch.
I am not selfish,
I shouldn't have to steal you away...
If you really knew me you'd know it rains in in me and my world...
twenty-four seven.
But when will the rainbow come.. to tell me it won't end in tears?
I'd rather leave this world than stay another hour, frozen and alone.


The author's comments:
When i wrote this it was one of my deep moments where I truly try to think of why some thing happened... or why it didn't happen...one of those
"the meaning of everything" moments...why the world is...why people say they know me...when in fact they truly don't...and most of all I wrote this at the library when I was alone in the corner feeling REALLY cold, frozen and alone.

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